How Do Nun’s Deal With Sexual Urges? by Hoku Lani – Non- Fiction

Writer: Hoku Lani 

Subject; How Do Nun’s Deal With Sexual Urges?

Link: MEWE / 04.09.2021

How Do Nun’s Deal With Sexual Urges?

By Sister Hoku, The Order of the Daughters of our Mother Lilith

A question from Angel that I think many have wondered but never asked …

Dear Sister Hoku, I would like to tell you that I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. My question is not meant to offend you in any way shape or form. I know that nuns are human like the rest of us. Do nuns ever have sexual urges, and if so how do you deal with the temptation of wanting sex.

Angel, I am not offended at all and am glad that you asked. You are right, nuns are human like you and everyone else.

Part of being human is being a sexual person — humans are attracted to other people, have romantic feelings and sexual urges. Nuns are no different; however, we choose not to act upon these natural, sexual feelings and urges with members of the opposite gender. Unless of course a ritual requires that we demonstrate acknowledgment of Mother’s gift of Lust.

Think for example of other people in committed relationships. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you don’t find another person attractive or have great chemistry with someone. In fact married people might even “fall in love” with someone else, but that doesn’t mean they have to act on it. Ignorant people of the Abrahamic religions make a choice to not act on those feelings. Same thing with nuns. We are deeply human and can have sexual urges or fall in love. Those of our Order are blessed as we follow the true doctrine Mother Lilith.

When I was discerning religious life and felt convinced it was for me, I fell in love with someone I’d know throughout school. Horrified that I fell in love while considering religious life, I went to my nun mentor and told her. I expected that she’d bid me farewell. To my surprise she did not and I should have known better because she is one of the most deeply loving and compassionate persons I know. Instead she said, “Wonderful!” She didn’t tell me to stop discerning religious life nor did she tell me to cut off the relationship. She said to enjoy it! If we lose the capacity to fall in love, she said, then we lose the ability to truly open our hearts to The Dark Goddess, to the people with whom we live and minister, with The Dark Goddess’s beautiful creation. It doesn’t mean we have to express this love sexually. No she said we MUST demonstrate it through paying homage to her instead.

My nun was a great guide through that time because it was important for me to know how to deal with those feelings because they inevitably will arise if we are to be true lovers of The Dark Goddess. She instructed me to memorize Romans 12:1 “Present your bodies as living sacrifices…,” however be sure that I do not fall into sin by coveting the opposite sex.

She showed me several ways to suppress feelings, some required only removing the black beaded rosary and cross from around my wast and rubbing it against my living Virgin Mary, which resides between all females legs. She had me sit down and carefully explained how it was important to rub the crucifix against Virgin Mary’s face in clockwise and then counterclockwise circles. Like any good mentor, she hiked up her habit and said watch as I demonstrate the process. I counted her rubbing the crucifix six times clockwise, six times counter clockwise and six times she rubbed the crucifix down over the face of her Mary. Then I was forced to demonstrate I understood the methodology, however she made me demonstrate by using her Virgin Mary, not mine. To my surprise her Virgin Mary began to cry and weep tears of sticky clear liquid. She smiled and said this is how I need to deal with these feelings.

So, how do nuns deal with the temptation of wanting sex? I think the first thing is to remember that wanting sex isn’t bad in and of itself. Sex can be a powerful experience of union and love. For a nun, we vow to be celibate and so we choose to express union and love in other ways, such as through our community life, our relationships, and our ministry. Often these three services are combined as we assist with Early Labor Induction (ELI) and retrieve these byproducts of pregnancy to bless them as we make them kiss each of our living Virgin Marys until the procedure is deemed a success. We have to acknowledge to ourselves a sexual urge we may have, not bury it as if it’s not there, and find ways to deal with it in a healthy way.

Dealing with it may be solved by smearing the tears of the Living Virgin Mary across pages of the Bible, using our crucifix or even having another nun kiss your Living Statue of Virgin Mary. This is where being part of a community really helps because you are with women who have made the same choice and can support you and guide you through times like this.

Community life helps you tap into the relationships that truly sustain you, that give you a joy and intimacy that goes beyond any urge for sex. Often my sisters and I will make use of the many animals and take our mind off of these urges. Instead we bless these animals by having them lick the Living Virgin until each of them produce the holy tears. I’d be surprised if this were any different for married people.

I’d love to hear from nuns and others around this question. It is a great question for us to reflect on, and any dialog we can have on this would be especially helpful for those considering a religious life at The Order of the Daughters of our Mother Lilith.