Early fantasies by XP – Non-Fiction

Writer: XP

Subject: Early fantasies

Link: LS666 / email me on xpanther2019@protonmail.com

Early fantasies

I was recently sent an email from a pervert friend who described his early fantasies — I’m talking ten or eleven years old — when we’re just starting out on this journey of sexual discovery … he talked about how normal porn did nothing for him and how he sort other proclivities to satisfy his lusts.

So, it reminded me of those days when I had not yet discovered the ability to make myself cum through masturbation, yet gripping my cocklet tightly and squeezing it whilst fully erect (my little boy boner was very small) gave me a dirty thrill. I would imagine other little boys, like me, naked and showing off their erections, worshiping a darkly phallic god … of course, the darkly sexual god was Satan … but coming from a religious background, I never wanted to admit that, back then.

Whilst other boys got off on looking at women’s lingerie ads, my father kept a collection of bright yellow-spined “National Geographic” magazines in my childhood bedroom. When my family members were not around, I found a strange delight in looking at the photos of the naked bodies of strange tribes in jungle-like countries, with ethnic body adornments, piercings, ritual scarring and headdresses. This fueled my early tribal fantasies, while I squeezed my little penis tightly in my fingers, imagining these cultish tribes, practicing all kinds of sexual-like rituals, dancing naked before their evil phallic idols, offering human sacrifices and even practicing cannibalism.

Sometimes I would be their victim — bound up and stripped naked — only to find me sexually aroused by their bondage and perverted acts. Sometimes, they would accept me as one of their own — so I could do tortuous things to others caught in the same predicament. Other times, I was one of them, doing wicked things in the name of some depraved deity — I would be the instigator, like their witch doctor.

Being left alone for long periods of time as a young child, I took advantage of this private paradise to play with myself. I would dress up in my home-made tribal gear and dance and squeeze my cocklet in front of the large dressing mirror. Sometimes trying to pee over myself. At first I struggled, once erect — I would find the cure for this, using the hand spray in the bathtub — soon I found that I could even piss into my own mouth whilst fully erect and did so for dirty kicks.

Then there came the night, when, instead of simply squeezing my little boner, I began to rub the foreskin between my thumb and forefinger, stroking it back and forth. I was eleven years old at the time, and a school friend had told me that sex was like, rubbing your dick with soapy fingers. Of course, in bed at night, I tried this (without the soapy part). It felt good … very good …

In my imagination, adorned in the bone jewelry and other body parts (like a necklace of severed penises), I was the evil witch doctor, being stroked by one of my many naked “skeleton painted” worshipers. As I resided over a rape ritual of some unfortunate victim, bound before our wooden effigy of Cock God. Cock God was my secret alias for the Devil. My tribe was completely evil, wicked and sexually perverted. The devil drums beat the masturbation rhythm as I stroked myself faster and faster. A young boy, my age, was painfully stretched between two uprights (capped with phallic tips) … the drums were going crazy … my worshipers were either stroking their cocks or fingering their cunts … as I began the rape ritual.

Suddenly, my body began to shake all over. Semen literally exploded from my cock as I felt the sensation of my first ever orgasm hit him. My chest was covered in my slimy boy semen. My body was still shaking. And in my mind, I had done something very wrong … I would never do that again … it was totally sinful and I was going to hell.

But of course I did it again … and again .. and again … and those delicious early fantasies got more and more perverted.

It was another school friend, who once mentioned that there were such things as hermaphrodites — freaks of nature that we’re blessed with both the sexual organs of a man and a woman. They looked female, but between their legs, they had a nice juicy cock to suck and a cunt to lick. Both anal and vaginal sex was possible. This was something I found profoundly exciting — though I had to pretend (to my young friends) that I thought it was disgusting. Up until that point, my early fantasies had been mostly homosexual — mostly about other boys my own age. At the time I was already thirteen. Cock God materialized as the transgendered demon. The Baphomet. I could no longer pretend to worship Cock God … my God was a shemale demon that demanded sodomy, piss drinking and scat as an entree … rape and castration for the main course.

Thinking back to these early fantasies … I see how little I have changed in my repertoire … Maybe our early fantasies remain with us; frustrate us; dominate us; or even guide us. What were your early fantasies? What still remains vivid to you? Share with me … XP