Writer: Angelus Mortis
Subject: Clear Thinking
Link: MEWE / 25.02.2023
Clear Thinking
Yesterday evening, I identified and set some goals for myself.
While I was conducting my six mile hill workout today, at about mile three, I began thinking clearly for the first time in years. That’s not to say I have been experiencing cloudy or hazy thoughts for thirty-eight years. This was different, as it was spiritual and concerned myself. I believe there are three stages in my life as follows: developmental stage one through to thirty — self-centered stage thirty-one through to sixty — wisdom stage sixty-one through to ninety.
I strongly believe age is just a number, and if I maintain my body I will not experience physical downfalls which many in my earthly family struggle with, such as diabetes or obesity, to name a few. The developmental stage is also subdivided, I thought, as I reflected back on myself. Perhaps it was obtaining my second wind or the next mile of relative flat surface. But I recalled how happy I was growing up; and how I felt when I was fortunate enough to observe the following:
Often my mother would wear a loose shirt or just a pareo (sarong). Often I would be fortunate enough to catch a glimpse of a tit or both. I immediately felt immense pride as though I shared a special moment. The pareo was even more special. A nice strong trade wind sometimes opened just enough to catch a glimpse of her bush.
There were times when my father would depart the bedroom and walk to the bathroom, in the morning. As morning wood was solid, I could see his stiffness poking and straining against his white cotton briefs. On another occasion I discovered my brother sitting in a big cooler stroking his cock. I stood above him and watched as he performed his magic. Eventually I called out to my mother and reported that he was playing with himself.
I really have fond memories of masturbating with my other brother. We shared a room and at night I would spread my legs open and explore myself. I always called out to my brother and asked him, are you massaging yourself? I took great pleasure with encouraging him to masturbate with me. Then it happened, I joined the herd. Religion condemned these things which previously brought my, “Happy thoughts,” and indoctrinated me into believing it was sinful.
Entering the workforce, I was taught what was acceptable and what is not. Sexual harassment training, was additional control. not due to compassion for employees, but to limit potential lawsuits. Regulatory hurdles were added for county, state, and federal laws. Although some years after, I recognized that I was a product of other influences, I refused to submit and I awoke. I began reading and researching other religions and searching for answers to questions I did not ask my self.
In short, I know why I had happy feelings of my youth. I believe it was a stage of my life without all of the influences and indoctrination. I continue to grow and awaken further. During my run today, I thanked Mother Lilith for being with me all those years long ago and continuing to cradle me even today. Sometimes just listen to your thoughts and enjoy thinking clearly. Now as I understand why I was so happy during the first phase of my life, I can continue to grow and enjoy my current phase, and plan for my final stage.