Writer: Serinity Zenunim
Subject: V
Link: LS666 / Email / 28.01.2023
V
It has been a weird journey trying to find myself. I have always felt better thinking about being a girl. I was never this big masculine guy and not being hung combined with being shy and submissive never helped. I figured like I hear many gay guys do the prove there are not gay, that maybe marrying a woman would prove was a man. I became born again as well yet feel there are so many restrictions to that life. I have read parts of the bible and some verses seem contradictory. But who or what am I?
I sit here in front of my computer as the wife is gone for a few weeks, which leaves me to my own vices.I feel I am two people and while I read all this bull about trans girls saying they were born in the wrong body I realize we all have two sides, it is called balance. I wasn’t born in the wrong body, I just want the other one. But then I think about transvestites and shemales who can have both.
I think about how good it feels to have a girl suck my dick, and then how good it feels to be the one sucking a dick. I think about how it feels having my dick in her pussy and ass as I watch her tits bounce and then wanting to feel my own tits bounce. I think back to when I laid down for a friend and felt him fuck me like a girl and how it felt knowing he shot his load inside me.
Then I remember that old man saying I was a natural that first time I sucked a dick and how the taste of his semen was. The feel of it sliding down my throat as I swallowed. And then I think about it as I sit dressed to please my female side and shadow spirit. I have been taking over the counter stuff to grow small moobs and combined with female exercises have gotten a small round feminine butt.
I sit and wonder where I go from here as I am sitting here with female clothing on and even have a nice set of enhancements tucked in so can bounce and enjoy the feel. I have a butt plug in my ass and have been watching dark porn while drinking and using poppers.
I find myself thinking about bible verses as I look over at a joint on my make shift alter to the devil. A verse comes across my mind about God being a gentleman and not forcing himself on me and then the second about he allows us to choose and will always forgive us. Will he forgive me if I want to enjoy sex, or lust for a while as a woman, or trans?
I have a cross and crucifix sitting in front of me as have been told the crucifix represented when the devil thought he won and the cross when Jesus rose and it was done. Am feeling weird as I watch the videos and a site pops up with scriptures that kind of confuse.
I see something that says to be careful as the devil will manipulate it for his purpose. What the fuck does that mean? I look over at the makeshift alter and pick up the crucifix and start talking to it. I ask what is going on and why I feel this way as I give it a kiss.
I see the joint out of the corner of my eyes and get up and walk over and sit. I do not remember but it is set up like I read about for a ritual. There is a single candle there and some words written and a shot of absinthe. I find myself saying a few things in some sort of weird language.
I was told years back we break through and are filled with the spirit once we speak in tongues. But this does not feel holy. I look in the mirror and there is something looking back and I get this feeling. It is like a voice telling me my shadow self is inside and we need to open the doorway.
I feel a tingle in my nipples and my butt plug as I light the candle. I turn out the lights and there are a couple sigils. I grab a makeshift wand and make a sort of symbol in the air and then poke my finger. I drip a little blood on the sigils. I get a weird feeling as I read the words and am sitting there with the crucifix in my hand. I kiss it and begin to rub it against my sissy breasts and then down between my legs and even across the butt plug.
I feel myself want to slip in into me but do not as I ask where I belong. I close me eyes and get the chill and shiver. When I open my eyes the figure is no longer in the mirror as it seems it may have made it through, but where is it. I get an alert on my computer and I grab the joint and light it as I walk back to my screen. I get ready to blow out the candle when it goes out and the room is lit by my computer screen.
I sit down at me computer and there is a link that asks, “Are you feeling lost? Are you unsure who or what to follow? Do you feel bound? Are you looking for spiritual freedom to live the life you want? Come join us at the Church of Freedom, where you can follow any or multiples and live the way you were meant to — the only church run by God himself — yes, come meet your true God.”
I feel this weird tingle and a voice tell me to read more. I hit the link and it says it is a mix so we can all feel free to live the way we want as we are but vessels to serve our lord. They are having a welcome party that is sort of a role-play or costume party for discretion and so on.
“After all god says cum as you are,” it says.
I do not pay much attention to the way they wrote cum as it is a wild joke. The party is being held at the gender friendly bar that just opened and so why not. I take a hit or two of the joint and feel drawn. I decide to go and see what happens as I can be my shadow self and will fit in. I arrive and go into this place with people dress like everything from cartoon characters to furries to demons and everything in between. I go to the bar and sit and a drink is waiting for me.
“Hello Michael, or is it Serinity?” the bartender asks.
I look shocked as she says the lord knows all his subjects. She introduces herself as Lilith, and why not. She looks very seductive with her long red firey hair and breasts that are to die for. She tells me daddy has been waiting for me and the explains daddy runs the bar,the church and the world. She tells me she will explain and if I want we will go see my new church. I know its a role-play scenario but is this not over the top?
She asks another to tend bar as she takes me to a back table. It is weird as she says she understand me not believing who she is and we sit. There is this weird statue of Baphomet there but the snakes that wrap around its cock are some sort of,well it looks like a bong. There is smoke coming from its nostrils and it smells weird but I know weed now is different as its all a hybrid.
She begins to tell me her story of freedom from the oppressor. She says she understand that I probably want to be filled by Jesus and that can happen as long as I realize I must be emptied first.It is what I read in scripture so it makes sense.
“Let me tell you about me, the real me,” she says, “As I get a bad rap. Adam was to be my hubby but he did not like me on top. We were to inhabit the world but his way. So Eve was made, she was this submissive one with no strength which is why the world is full of wimps,” she giggles, “Only the strong survive, don’t you agree Seri.”
I wonder again since I never told her my name. She goes on to tell me tonight I can be free to serve the true god and lord of this world as put here by the big guy himself. She looks across the room and tells me he has arrived. This is now becoming like a weird dream or acid trip as I look to see someone dressed like the devil.
But not the movie or stereotypical version, and yet you can tell. She tells me we need to share from the sacred snakes as she hands me one of the tubes from the statue.Again this is getting weird as she takes a hit and for some reason I do as well and choke. It is very strong and I take one more light hit as I look and realize I am doing this from what are snakes coming from a statue of Baphomet.
“Do not worry,” she says, “It’s not evil — it represents duality and freedom of body and spirit.”
I sit there as my head starts to spin and I know I have never had this before. I feel a tap on my shoulder and almost fall over as I turn to see it is him. He reaches down to take my hand for a slow dance to some interesting music as if a man asking a woman. He tells me he has words for me to help me. We go to the floor and he holds me close and asks how I like the favors. I tell him it was strong and he says they call it devils breath.
I start to wobble.
“Is that not what they call meth?”
He looks me in the eyes and its like he is looking into my soul.
“Do not worry dear it will set you free.You will soon feel better then ever.”
He puts my head on his shoulder and tells me to relax as we sway. He asks if I believe the bible and then throws some scripture out. He asks if I believe I have the choice to serve and be what I want. Then he tells me of his church and how I can serve any I please and asks if I still want Jesus to fill me with his love.
“You are told to be crucified with Jesus, am I right?” he asks.
He tells me at his church I can be, not killed but be with him in a better way and asks if I would like that. I wobble as am confused as this is supposed to be the devil and is offering me to find Jesus? He asks how I feel at that moment as a woman, or at least as someone without gender. He then tells me that god himself says we are vessels and I am as well.
“We are like clay to be molded, correct?” he says, “Does he not say he put all authority in place and to follow it.”
I look him in the eyes as he now holds me tight.
“You like those breasts, do you not,” he asks and then says we are to be molded.
I tell him yes, and he grabs me and pulls me tight, as he pushes the enhancements against me and in a moment of pain he pulls me close and they sink into me like a boob job. He asks how they feel and its like a weird dream as they are part of me. I bounce and he lifts my top and licks the nipples as I moan and tells me they are a gift. I look down and he tells me not to worry as the penis stays and I am no longer male or female but his vessel.
He then calls Lilith over and I hear him tell her to take me to the church and make me at home as he and the others will be there soon. She tells me I got the special invite to the new church and she will take me now. She asks how my new body feels and I tell her I feel lust with it. I am told not to worry and we head out.
We go to a very remote area that is kind of hidden as she tells me lots of people do not agree and would do damage to the church and we go inside. The drugs start to slightly wear off as I stand there and realize I now have breasts. She tells me we need to get it right first as my look sucks so she takes me to a bathroom off a main hallway and does make up for me. I have this dark seductive yet evil look.
We go into the main sanctuary which is not only huge, but has artifacts from almost every religion. I look and see paganism and satanism and in the corner a life size crucifix. She walks me around to each and we spend a moment as to get a feel to see where I am led.
We get to the satanic altar and she has me sit and asks how the body feels and if I still like women. She tells me to close my eyes and feel what it is I want with my new body as she wraps her arms around me. She holds me as she massages my breasts and starts to chant. She leans over and kisses me as she tells me I can now be free.
“You still want to be filled,” she says, “With the love of Christ, don’t you?”
She then tells me that in order to be filled I must first be emptied and if I will allow her to. She also tells me that the whole church goes by feelings as she walks to the front of me. Her top now gone I see her beautiful breasts, and as I get an erection the candles blaze higher.
“It is what is inside you the lights them, the fire of lust dear,” she tells me, “Let the fire burn,” she says as we empty the vessel.
She walks me over to the crucifix and it is surrounded my candles like in a catholic church.
“Go ahead dear light a few with your desires,” she says, “But let what is inside speak for you.”
I get to my knees and light as I notice the Jesus on the cross has nothing covering his penis.Then all of a sudden the cross inverts and she tells me it is me who makes it so.
She then lays me down at the foot of it,or at this point his head and she starts to slide her hand into her pussy. She is bloody from what would maybe be her period? But lots more blood as she rubs it on my body and breasts and has me taste it. She starts to put symbols on my forehead and breasts and the alter across the room starts to light up.
“You are calling for it,” she says.
She grabs the candles — I light it — she pours wax on my breasts and penis as she tells me it is time to be emptied. She sits on my erection and it is like sliding into a soaked sponge as I feel her vaginal muscles pull at me and milk me.She tells me to let it go as she gyrates and grinds against me til I explode inside her. She is the succubus and I can feel energy being drained. I lay there as she asks if I still want to be crucified with Christ and feel him give his love to me.
The crucifix now lies on the floor and I am kneeling in position above his penis as she brings another bong to me. It again has snake like tubes and she tells me I must breath him in before giving myself. I take a hit and almost fall over as she guides me down. But what is this I feel?
Jesus has an erection and it is pressed against me hole. She begins to suck on my breasts and I melt as it goes up inside me.It is large and hard to penetrate when she says she will help and sits on my dick, which forces me down on it. She spread my arms to match his and feet as she lays me down to be crucified. She starts to grind to make him go deeper as she leans and has me suck her breasts.
She then tells me if Christ is in me the old goes away and I am a new creation and tells me to accept it.I realize my bible said that things can be manipulated but is this for real and then she pounces does on me as the Jesus cock goes into that second doorway. I moan and she knows as she now lays on top in the same position and calls for new life and I feel the cock spasm as I am filled. She kisses me as she orgasms and bleeds and pisses all over me.
She slides up as I lay there on top of Jesus with him inside me as my mind starts to fade. She tells me there is one more step to become free and part of her world. I am taken to a new room. It is dark and magical. She tells me to let my mind take over as to who I want to be.
“What is inside you,” she says, “Will now choose your direction as our Lord is on his way. Once chosen he can free you.”
I cannot see her but can bear her voice and feel her breath. She tells me to give her a kiss and kneel and all sill become clear. I can smell an odd smell as I feel her lips on mine. She blows smoke into my mouth and body as her tongue wrestles with mine. I gag on it as it is like a snake trying to get inside me and then I feel the lust start to build as the smoke takes over. The room feels like it is moving as I drop to my hands and knees on all fours. I feel something wet touching my hole and then penetrate me as I know it is a butt plug. But this one feels like energy entering me.
“Do as guided,” she says.
I call out to know where I belong — I look around as it is like I am glued to the floor and the room starts to be seen. It looks like a fun house full of mirrors yet still dark. On the floor around me a glow begins as it forms a pentagram with me inside. I feel this tingle as in the mirrors I see what looks like a disheveled prostitute. I look as if I have been ravaged and abused.
“Beauty comes from within dear, once you surrender our Lord will bring it out, but only if you choose to serve him,” I hear her say.
I retort by saying make me beautiful and I surrender. I kneel there, naked with big breasts and penis like a satanic shemale. I feel the urge to fornicate.
I then hear voices.
“The boys are home,” she says and she leaves the room.
I hear the door open and a few voices.
“Are you ready to choose my little one,” I hear.
I notice many shadows in the mirrors. But then to room fills with a druggy fog as I am told to breath in freedom. I start to feel weird but now am in a mode to simply follow commands. I see all these figures but it must be the drugs as they look like a cross between human and animal and things I do not know. I am told my mind will guide to what is real and not as he first walks behind me.
I feel him pull out the butt plug then is standing in front of me. I see these hairy goat legs complete with hooves. I start to look up to see a limp but long cock. The top is that of a human man and then his face. It is a cross between goat-like and human with horns and fangs. His eyes are hypnotizing as he reached his hand down to take mine. I am steady though high as a kite as I stand. He tickles my nipples and then licks my new breasts.
“I think we did a good job, don’t you,” he asks as I almost have an orgasm from the feel.
He then tells the other to start and they light candles that are on stands around me that I never noticed. I stand there as he walks around and checks me out like a piece of meat and tells me if I choose he will give me his body and blood and I will be beautiful.
He walks up behind me and holds me in his arms and tells me I will experience sex like never before as he reached around and cups my breasts.
“Do you like them, do you want to feel things you never thought possible,” he says.
I tell him I am his and surrender and he begins to says a few things. While in tongues I still somewhat understand.
“Take my body and blood in this sacred act to become one with me and become mine,” he starts as the others begin to chant.
He then asks if I am accepted and the flames on the candles rise to show I am.
“You now become my vessel of fornication, the sacred prostitute, one who will serve the darkness,” he says, “Now accept my body and blood and become one with us,” he follows.
He licks my neck which has me almost faint. He squeezes my breasts as he sinks his teeth into me, but unlike a vampire who drains he is filling me with his dark blood and essence. I feel the way you feel as the doctor fills you with anesthesia. I start to melt in his arms as he shoves his now erect and huge cock up inside me.
“Later we have pleasure but for now I must make you ours,” he says.
He cums quickly and fills my ass fully until it is oozing out and down my legs. But it is not the only thing oozing. He then asks me to pledge and I tell him he is my Lord and I serve him. My will and spirit has been broken and I am now a mix and nothing but a vessel. I am told to kneel as he slides out from my body. He tells me to prove I now do simply as told and to clean my mess. I can smell it as it is literally my mess and I take his stinky cock in my mouth. I gag but do not stop as it is now my duty.
“I will be back in a bit to have mine,” he says. “But it has been a long day and they need theirs.”
I stand as some sort of sex swing comes down in the middle of the circle. Two of the creatures approach me and put me in the swing as they start to suck on and play with my tits. One is standing above my face with his cock between then as his ass in is my face to lick and eat. I feel another push into my ass and take me and cum squirts on my tits.
He moves so the next can tilt my head and fuck my face. They do not stop after once as they are not human and I am filled for hours until I am drenched with spit, shit, piss and cum. Each time something hits my body or is deposited inside me I get more lustful energy. I love it and do not want it to stop. I even have then sucking my dick and riding it as I seem to now be able to cum multiple times.
I lay there gaped and spent as they finish and leave. Lilith now comes in to clean me up to serve our Lord. She tells me we will have the unholy threesome as she cleans me up. We go to a special room where Satan is lying in a bed with his cock straight up. It is massive and my body is calling for it. He calls for us and he sits up and I sit in his lap as he begins to suck my tits. I feel the huge head against me hole and then slowly slide down.
He hits bottom and then he seems to tell my body to open up. Next thing I know I am sliding down and taking it all as feel it enter the inner sanctum of my body. After a little, he calls Lilith over, and says we have needs to. I slide around and lean back as she takes her place above my dick. She sucks my tits and then kisses me as she lowers and takes me into her.
The more she sits the more I go down as well ,taking my master deeper. We fuck in many positions for an hour or two and I am now new. It is now time and it is like he has control and when he says, we all explode at the same time. I am now home and where this vessel belongs.