Writer: Pastord
Subject: What Does It Feel Like To Lose Faith?
Link: Tumblr / 28.06.2026
What Does It Feel Like To Lose Faith?
I haven’t lost faith completely, to be honest. But I can feel so many beliefs and barriers fading. Beliefs I’ve held so dear and barriers I’ve relied on to keep me on God’s path. They’re just falling away.
In a way, it’s scary. But on another level, it’s exhilarating. With God, everything good is promised someday, in heaven, if I make it. Satan, though, says, “Here, see what I can give you, now. Enjoy whatever you desire, with my blessing.”
That’s irresistible. I try to run away from him. But it’s like once I tasted him, felt him, experienced his presence without fear or fable, nothing else will satisfy. How the fuck am I supposed to pastor a church when what I want is to feel, know, and taste Satan through unholy desires and acts? (My cock hardens even as I type those words).
What does it feel like to lose faith? Like coming home.
Dear Pastord
I too am pastoring a church and I am experiencing what you are. I am currently living a lie as I pastor people to know Jesus yet in my heart I want to bring them to Satan to enjoy sexual sins that are unmatched by any other type of experience,
I would appreciate connecting with another pastor on this topic. If you are willing, please do email me. topflooroffice at aol.com
Just emailed you…
Pastord it is difficult to go back to living a chaste live after experiencing the freedom worshipping Satan brings. The idea that your desires are okay and that what you feel and lust for is natural. Organized religion is based on treating everyone like children, and maybe thousands of years ago that made sense, I don’t really know. I do know that now it doesn’t. People have sex for a variety of reasons, and guilt shouldn’t hamper their enjoyment. If someone doesn’t approve of you fucking a married woman that you desire and she desires you then fuck them, it is none of their concern. Enjoy life, as it is way to short. Find what works for you. I hope you find a solution to your anguish. Above all do what you feel is right whatever that maybe.
Your comments are always on point…
Pastor, there’s no denying what happens between our legs when we embrace Him.
Indeed
So true Lily09. Our “lions” tell us what feels good and right. Giving into lust and sin is feels right because we’ve wanted it all our lives, and have denied ourselve to please others, be it god, family, neighbors, etc. Embracing Satan frees us to face ourselves; admit who we are to ourselves; and embrace who we truly are. Nothing worse than lying to yourself. Just my opinion.
I wish I understood what it even was to have faith in the first place. Church has only every been a place I went to for my mother and grandmothers approval
Sorry to hear religion was so worthless. The reason for feeling sorry for you is you miss the thill of commiting blasphemy which makes your cock hard or your cunt leak/clit harden. I guess blasphemy porn would not hold much excitement if you don’t care about “established” religion. Anyway, I hope you continue following this blog and enjoy life.
Balwar,
It was so overwhelmingly exciting the first time I blasphemed the holy spirit of the christain god. It was hard, and I don’t just mean my cock, I chickened out a couple of times before I was able to overcome and commit blasphemy against the holy spirit. I know I was successful because I meant it in my heart.
Timblacker
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So glad to hear you were successful. When I finally did it I felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders as I knew I now had no guilt or shame. It is a wonderful feeling. I still watch blasphemy porn a lot. I love it. Hail Satan
I finally have the driving desire to contact you
I am a pastor of a small (150 people) church in New England. I have falling in love with Satan and all the sin filth beauty he offers. It’s been about 2 years now and I fll deeper daily. I would love to be able to email with another pastor who has these same desires as I have no one to share my blasphemy thoughts and desires with. I am also a former graphic designer and have created many sin filth altars to honor Satan. I hope you will contact me and see if we might be able to support one another.
Gary