Turning The Corner by Destiny1961

Writer: Destiny1961

Subject: Turning The Corner

Link: LS666 Emails / 27.11.2023

Turning The Corner

You know those times you really want something so you dream about what it’s like with it? What would that dream be like if it’s something out of the ordinary and you have a warped mind? For years I have seen myself as kind of a hybrid. I do not fit into any pronouns or any specific type of spirituality. And to top it off many years ago while following a Christian faith was blessed with a few spiritual gifts that allowed me to hear from that realm.

Some were excited but did not understand when that door is open it is open to all, whether light or dark. I grew up around female siblings and at one point was called a sissy and feminine. But it helped me grow up as well since a cousin not only allowed me to see her body naked but also got my first taste of lust. It was okay but I was jealous as she seemed to like it more than me. When I touched her breasts and when I exploded inside her.

The way she looked as she moved up and down on me and felt me inside, I wanted to feel that. And feeling sensitive breasts being suckled and massaged. I had felt a male friend inside me and had this wild feminine horniness and then when I first had a man’s dick in my mouth, oh my. I knew there were gay men out there who would like it from another guy but I kept wondering about having breasts and being dressed with makeup and all.

I used to go to the corner bar with my dad and shoot pool before I was old enough to drink. I would watch guys pick up girls after a few too many and knew what would happen. I remember a young female friend who was loose. The guy would get her drinks on the side and take her places. Guess it was the hormones kicking in as she said nothing felt better than to suck a dick and get fucked and have guys suck her little tits.

I would even have dreams of being in a bar dressed up and a guy buying me drinks. He would take me home and kiss me and then suck my little tits and tell me it was okay I was not genetic as he would fuck me. But I needed tits first. I started to use women’s pills to grow out my hair and while some thought I looked like a heavy metal frontman due to being cute some said I looked feminine. Back then was skinny and mistaken as a girl from behind. If I had titties maybe a guy would take me from behind as he would reach around and grab them not worrying about my little penis.

So it began. I decided I needed to be a real man so got married and started to follow a Christian faith. But when we had sex I would suck her tits while fingering her then her asshole. At times she even rode me anally and to feel her breasts as she bounced and moaned I wished I was her. Then found there were places and ways for someone stuck in the middle to go. I already had a low “T” so started to get a soft chest when working out. I would build but instead of it being hard they were soft and I liked it.

So I found over-the-counter hormones and started growing small moobs, but being married did not want to go overboard. I started to hear those voices. One says it is wrong while the other tells me it’s a new world coming. I met with a friend who was transsexual and I started to get strange feelings. She told me it was the feminine spirit inside me and if I opened my mind I may have some fun. She was a witch and prayed over me and I kept getting weird dreams and feelings.

They were dark dreams and I was like her and was with many men and having sex. But then started to think about other things like smoking weed and even fetish and BDSM stuff. It has been years and I ended up hearing those voices again, but this time called out to them. I am caught between living the life of a good Christian husband and in private seeking the darkness as something feminine. It started with using sissy hypnosis and getting harder and darker til started to use poppers and watch popper ones that led into satanic ones. Then started to try and understand the dark as that door opened a year ago.

I learned about different demons, gods, and goddesses, and what would find was a second me, known as my shadow self. I was told would have peace once I accepted it as part of me so I did. But it is a she and connected to those dark deities and entities. She would show me a world outside the married Christian life. A world with breasts and lust where am able to feel what a woman feels. But one thing keeping my sanity is my wife and her devotion.

Then it happened as she got sick so I gave up the dream to be her good hubby. I found God and felt my shadow tugging. My wife then passed and I am broken. I have read of techniques used to break someone to reprogram their minds. I am a conspiracy person on top of it all. I read where the government used this to program men to become killers and another where it was used to break young girls and make them sex slaves. At one point even read where it could be used to turn strong men into sissies for service as well.

The idea was through pain the mind would split and go to a happy place or something but as it was going the happy place would be programmed into them. I started to understand as I was broken and at this point, the happy place was a confusing one. I would picture sex with her but as we went along and I saw her joy I was kind of slid inside her. I could feel the tingles of her breasts as if mine and looked down at myself as a shell as we rode. I could feel the dick sliding in and out of my tight hole as our breasts bounced. But it wasn’t just us as I felt this presence with us as it told me it could be. I knew as a man I felt empty without her and that I always wanted to be a girl.

“A new world is coming,” I heard.

I have found myself delving again into that darkness and even bought poppers and watched some sissy satanic porn. I have even allowed that shadow side to help me feel that feminine tingling. She has started to guide me to where we found this place close. They do not make you go through all the hoops to change and you can change as much as you feel, okay time for boobs. It even costs less and then as I started to think about the sin of lust again and going to church they have one that is multi-religious. It even caters to LGBTQ.

Now comes the dreams of what could be. So I started to picture that initial talk with someone from the clinic. The woman tells me we do not have to go through that long process the government wants but can talk if needed. I ask for a few sessions and she brings up the church. I tell her I feel more like a hybrid as want to be a feminine male with breasts. She tells me with the right doses it can happen as they have had many transsexuals.

We go on as I tell her I don’t picture myself that way and even my beliefs stopping me. She tells me the church helps as it is a mix so you can find your true self. She brings up getting the mind and spirit on the same page and somehow I bring up breaking the spirit and BDSM. She holds my hand and prays with me and says she feels it inside. She asks my thoughts on stuff like fetish stuff and BDSM. She asks me to take off my shirt and she rubs my little moobs.

She asks me to close my eyes and then I feel a paddle slightly slap them. It hurts but also tingles. She asks how it felt and then my thoughts on lust. She tells me she understands how I am different and wants to keep talking as I do this. She then gives me a shot and pills. She tells me it may be a slow journey. So it begins. We sit down a couple of times a week and talk about change, spirituality, and even fetishes. She tells me she understands I am broken and how pain and simple PTSD can break the mind and spirit. She also talks about how simple pain can go from actual pain to ecstasy.

She says she also understands how one can be confused as Jesus preaches about sin and lust being bad while people say Satan is all about it. Some go one way, some the other and yet some go somewhere in between. She tells me she feels this lost soul that is submissive and with a servant’s heart. She knows how one can be happy by making others happy. She tells me she wants to help me and is doing a sort of study if I want to participate.

She says it involves a little pain and is a spiritual and sexual journey. I agree and she shows me this room with an exam table and various symbols from various religions. There is a cross with some sort of restraints and she mentions some want to be “Crucified with Christ” though not an actual crucifixion. I agree to participate so I can find the inner me. And so it begins. I have started to form breasts enough and we start. I am laid down naked on my belly.

I feel the light sting of a flogger on my back and butt. It hurts and yet something pops in my head. I feel her hands on my butt and a slap. She lights a few candles and starts to chant. I feel hot wax on my butt and as it hits me she whispers for me to let my spirit free. I stood up and sat on the exam table with my feet in the stirrups. I feel her sliding fingers into my hole as if a gynecologist is checking out a female. She slides a speculum inside me and opens it. I am told it is my male vagina. She grabs a candle and now pours wax on my nipples and small pert breasts. I am then flogged lightly as she seems to speak to my spirit.

I feel pain and pleasure at the same time as if being split. We finish and do this a few more times as my mind starts to break and become more feminine. But she makes sure I stay more of a hybrid as the breasts start to form. My butt becoming bigger and round like a woman. She toys with me and tortures me in a sort of playful way. She is breaking me but the best is yet to come. Now it is time to own me. I now have small but pert breasts and a slightly open hole made for cock. I go in and we sit and talk. But this time she tells me I need to let go and she hands me poppers.

I sniff them as she sets up the room. This time more candles and almost ritualistic. She tells me it is time to prepare me to be what I have been wanting. She pulls out a bong and has me smoke a little weed with her and she does some sort of prayer. She has me repeat it in Latin though I do not understand. I am now feeling strange. She takes some cords, and then she wraps them around my breasts and tightens them until they start to puff. She has me sit back in the exam chair as she now pours some wax on my bound tits.

She sets my feet in the stirrups and slips a toy inside. It is larger and I moan as it stretches me. She tells me she has something to help as she pulls out a glass pipe. I remember her putting me under hypnosis so I would tell her what I wanted. She takes hits from the pipe and then holds it to me so I can hit it. Big clouds as I know what it is. The lights are turned off so there is a black-light and candles lighting the room. A couple more hits as she puts things on my nipples and shocks them.

I lay there tripping as the pain brings strange pleasure. She begins some sort of incantations as she asks if I still want to be crucified for him. She tells me it will set me free. I was after all made to serve. She grabs the cord that is on my tits and guides me up and to the cross on the wall. I reach my arms out and put them in the openings at the ends. My hands are stuck in place as she goes and puts on a robe. It is that of a priestess as she tells me it is time to learn who I will be.

She rubs my butt and slaps it then shoves two fingers into me as I flinch. She asks if I am ready as I feel her between my cheeks. I realize now she is a shemale. She tells me they come to her for many reasons to become feminine but I am different and now become what is inside and she shoves straight up into me all the way. She fucks me hard and thanks to the meth shoots big loads inside me over and over.

She tells my spirit to absorb her seed. She reaches around and grabs the tits as she tells me it is what I need. After she is finished she pulls me from the wall and lays me down and titty fucks me til she spews all over them and my face. After all is said and done she lays me on a sofa to rest. She has broken me and now I have my tits and a whole new personality.

THE END