Writer: Pastor David Plume
Subject: The Pendulum of Pain & Pleasure
Link: LS666 Email / 19.05.2026
The Pendulum of Pain & Pleasure
I’ve spent decades in Christian ministry. And I’ve believed and preached the Bible sincerely. And, honestly, I still want to believe it all. But in a weak moment, I stumbled upon satanic and blasphemous porn. This was several years ago now, and my life has never been the same.
It made me feel things I’ve never felt, especially freedom and pleasure. Doors were unlocked inside me, and monsters were set free that I couldn’t get back in their cages. Sure, I’ve masturbated since I was single digits old. And I’ve consumed porn since then, too. But since I drank from the darkness,
I’ve never felt such power and permission. Long repressed and forbidden desires now feed my lust. And the first time I whispered—grunted gutturally, actually—“Hail Satan” as I orgasmed crossed a line I can’t uncross. I still ride the pendulum from darkness to light, but no one would ever know. I’m a skilled hypocrite.
I often hear a whisper from the darkness, “Taste and see that HE is good,” and I know who HE is. It makes me want to masturbate and feel Him. I’m a conflicted soul, I know. But at this moment, I want to surrender to the darkness, get drunk on it, and do terribly unholy things.
He is so beautiful. I’m supposed to say He’s evil and terrible, but every time I fall, I fall deeper in love with him and what he gives me. Maybe I’m fucked, I don’t know. All I know is that there are many more lines to cross. May He make it so. Ave Satanas!
RESPONSE BY XP VIA LS666 EMAIL & BLOG
Absolutely … I will call this … The Pendulum of Pain & Pleasure
Dear David. You are delicious. Your words make me aroused immediately. I completely understand the delights of the fall, and the further it is, the greater the joy. Ah, the sensations of it. The torrent and the delight. It’s so exquisite. XP
So many of us (me included) have felt all that you described. Initially we pull away… until we are lured back (or our cock or cunt leads us back). Each time we stay a little longer than the last time. The cycle repeats (sometimes for years). But the pattern is set…
Come, Cum, Stay a Little Longer Than Before.
Until one glorious day we realize that THIS is where we were always meant to be. THIS is our true home. Our happy place. The place that we don’t just WANT to be, but also the place where we NEED to be. And finally… thankfully, gloriously, finally… we surrender completely. We accept our fate, our destiny, our true purpose and calling and place in this world. In HIS World. In HIS Family. And we embrace it. We finally have learned to LOVE IT. And now we truly become at peace and we become one with HIM. Keep going and you will eventually get there. And it is better than you ever thought possible. It took me years, but here I am.
Thank you, my brother.
Such a true statement. How many times have we (most xtian men and women) repeated the cycle, sin , repent, sin again, repent again. I eventually figured out that no matter how hard I try I wanted to sin, not that I was lured by lust, but that in my heart I WANTED it. I really don’t think sex is a sin, it is made that way by religions. Sex is natural, lust is natural. Falling for Satan has let me be free to be whomever I want to be.
Grateful for your thoughts, my brother.
I love it when you cross the lines, Pastor.
Mmm
Thank you, XP.
David,
Thank you for this post and the honesty behind you sharing it with us.
You are not alone in this battle and struggle for freedom.
As former Minister I invite you to reach out and let’s talk about are shared feelings and thought.
I you would like to do this please post and let me know and we can work out how to start a conversation.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Matthew 7:7
I would like that very much. darknessspeaks2me@mail.com or Session: 056d1c0d3e01b41dd3a9ca89f5295314017f6d6da7a54c8977593f07cb5244441f
David, Thank you for this post and the honesty behind you sharing it with us. You are not alone in this battle and struggle for freedom. As former Minister I invite you to reach out and let’s talk about our shared feelings and thoughts. If you would like to do this please post and let me know and we can work out how to start a conversation. I hope to hear from you soon. Matthew 7:7