Writer: AmateurSatanologist
Subject: Nine Satanic Statements
Link: Tumblr / 17.01.2026
Nine Satanic Statements
The Nine Satanic Statements, as detailed in LaVey’s Satanic Bible:
- “Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!
- Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!
- Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!
- Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!
- Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!
- Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!
- Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!
- Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!
- Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!”
⛧ ⛧ ⛧ ⛧ ⛧ ⛧
There doesn’t appear to be any sort of explanation or expansion of these points within The Satanic Bible (or at least not that I’ve come across so far) so I’m off to look for more info online, but in the meantime…
… I initially have quite mixed reactions. Some of these immediately grab me as ideas I can fully get behind, some seem confusing or too vague, and some seem a bit too hostile for my liking. For example, the second statement (“Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!”) is a definite positive; as a former Christian, I’ve wasted too much time on impossible hopes, waiting for a deity to save me or bless me or even just answer me. On the other hand, statement 5 about vengeance is an example of one that comes on too strong.
Still pondering, though, and I won’t be making my mind up on any of these until I’ve found some sort of exegesis.