Writer: Hayden Bandi @tengritexas
Subject: Names For Your Witchy Partner
Link: Tumblr / 20.04.2024
Names For Your Witchy Partner
Cute names for your witchy partner. This is satire. I’m single and just need a filler post. So like these are not legit don’t do these please.
1. Itsy Bitsy Spider — Your partner will love being called a literal spider and it’s certainly not spooky in any way. If you really wanna be flirty you could say, “My tarantula” but I make sure you’re further along in your relationship
2. Tweaker — Yes, a total classic. As a witch who occasionally does rituals outside I’m horrified of people coming into the forest and just seeing me with my candles and saying stuff in the woods.
3. Thorn — Another classic one, thorns are used in magic and stuff and they won’t take it the wrong way. You’re saying it in a, “You’re stuck with me, and I wish you” way not a, “You’re hard to get rid” way. Oh sweet Tengri, I’m a troublemaker with these
4. Cannibal — Have you ever heard the story as a kid that a witch will feed you so they can “cook you up and eat ya?” No? Well, this one is a banger for whoever heard that wild church story. I’d like to tell my church I ate well and no one has cooked me into a witchy pie so kinda lame of them to propagate this clickbait story.
5. Voldemort — The handsome noseless devil himself, “I will destroy you Harry Pottaaaaaa,” but he sounds like super old you know? Yeah, they love that one. Trust me on this don’t ask for a second opinion my word is gold. Voldemort also scared me as a kid random side note.
That’s enough jokes from me I just wanted to post and check in with some friends.
RESPONSE BY XP (VIA LS666 BLOG)
What name do you go by? Do share … Why Amandablonde? Regis? EvilDana? Destiny1961?
Why did I choice XP? I wish there was a glamorous reason. But unfortunately, the “X” was iPhone X and “Panther” was the name of the operating system. Urgh.
More interestingly, the name “Littlesally666” came from one of the first stories I wrote — the story is called “Satan’s Daughter 4”
SATAN’S DAUGHTER 4
In the fourth part of the story, it mentions a protagonist, Elizabeth Mason, who is seduced into a world of darkness through a blogger, Sally Johnson, who happens to go by the name “Littlesally666” … the thrust of the story is linked to my stranger-than-fiction fan letter that in the first instance chastised me, but immediately spoke of her moral issues … it went like this …
“Hello, I’ll start of by admitting my own surprise at emailing you at all. I frequent ASSTR as a kind of respite from my everyday life. That’s where I came across your stories. As a church-goer, as a wife, and as a mother, I was appalled and disgusted at your writings. Normally, I would ignore them as quiet perversions; I have never felt it is my place to judge someone on their sexual preferences, no matter how depraved. But your superior writing left me, nonetheless, impressed and curious. It can be difficult to find talented authors in the erotica genre and I have to give you credit. You’re way with words left me satisfied, albeit concerned for my own moral shortcomings. Please take this as praise.”