Writer: Destiny1961 AKA Serinity Michaels
Subject: Initiation – The Breaking of Michael
Link: Email LS666 / 22.09.2022
Author’s Notes: They just keep getting darker since have accepted my shadow side. This one is kind of weird as it is similar to what I have written while taking me down a path never really thought would go but now wonder. Can one truly be taken over by what is not seen? Is there more then one of us living inside? What can truly become reality if we truly let go and surrender? This may come out weird as it may end up written in so many different pronouns from me to we to she and so on but am trusting to let go of my reality for a bit and let the alternate one take over for a bit. It may also sound weird as am writing as it comes, including breaks where may say something that pops into my spirit and head. Would love to hear all thoughts and even have new friends to talk to about this as we have become one and she has taken a name. Hope you enjoy …
Initiation – The Breaking of Michael
PART ONE
My birth name that was given to me at our natural birth by a Catholic woman was Michael. I was named after the archangel, which makes this all ironic. But as he was the one who it is said removed Lucifer from his place it feels only natural there would be some sort of revenge. Pluck another one from the hands of Jesus? Maybe take what God has made and remake it his way?
But if we are all made in his image and there are many different types of people and we are seen as male and female then is he not in fact both. We look at Baphomet as duality but again would not God be like that? But lots of us have a hidden side and if God in fact said he gives us the choice to live as we want, then why hide if we want to live the opposite or a mix. I was told when back in school, I had an above average IQ, and as an artistic type person looked outside the box.
It is kind of ironic though as growing up was kind of a girly looking boy who not only played with his action figures but even barbies with his cousin,but was it for her or him? And even at a young age we would put the two together in sexual positions, so ahead of our time? I started to realize what the universe would call balance and how we needed that balance. I remember an adult once telling me after something went wrong that everything balances out and we need that balance. So why then are we not balanced and able to live with the light and the dark together. Why can we not enjoy on one side while not feeling bound by all the rules that men actually wrote to begin with or feel caged in who we would rather not be?
I remember when I first enjoyed sex with another guy but it was almost as if was his prostitute as felt he needed release and we were both horny. I was never what you call a top or dominant but in a submissive way could make someone happy. I remember as I lay there after actually offering my body for his pleasure that moment he penetrated me. It was at that moment when I felt the pain of him that it opened me up and seemed to set me free.
It was like I became something new and was free. But even through the pounding it wasn’t like he was having all the fun as we were both engaged in a sexual act. Through it all I kept wondering will he and he did in fact. He shoved and I was breathing heavy through it as he gave me his seed and my spirit was set free. It felt like something took over and it felt great. I found myself from that moment wonder who was in charge and can I feel that again but in a new way. My mind was even opened up and I saw into the dark for the first time. But even as I was still new to sex I found lust and liked it.
I wondered as I grew in a mostly Christian way what was on the other side that was so bad. The saying is keep your friends close and enemies closer and well. I started looking at demonic and satanic things and told friends in order to beat your enemies you must learn about them. Yes, I was lying.
Now I am the kind who can’t keep his nose in a book, but this was before computers. Yes, I am that older now, but they had talked about black magick; and using it to get girls and hypnosis. I started to think why not. I’m a horny guy with needs and why not use it to get a girl in bed and I am the kind who puts them first so after we do it they will not be upset and maybe want more. Then I even thought that maybe, just maybe it would make it to where I could be with other guys too and even as the girl but once it is finished no one would remember or say anything. I started to feel guided by something and liked it.
As I went on I started to think about change and how it felt with that guy years back but what about the guilt or shame or being able to let loose and not feel like just a guy in a skirt. I am now thinking about hypnosis as technology brought us the computer and they had things like sissy self hypnosis and such. My out of the box type mindset went way out of this box.
I had that feminine look even though was married and trying to live a christian male life. I even tried growing facial hair and at one point was told looked like Jesus, which was made more ironic by who said it. They had those sex lines and where you could hook up with anyone from male to female and in between and I got curious. I wanted to be sucked and have sex with a tranny and so set it up. She was a black transvestite with the padded bra and all that.
We have a small drink as she told me it was ironic and not to scare me but I looked like Jesus and she followed a different path. So we laid down and she started to suck me and me being the mind who likes to please and was an oral type person I found myself sucking her. I came but kept going as she told me I did not need to but started to tell me I was a natural and even said something about I was like her inside and she felt it.
I finished her and swallowed and she told me she felt something inside me that could scare me but am like her. I remember gagging while sucking and the more I did the more my mind went. But what is the key to letting go, is it pain or sexual pain? It is years later and I go back to my first BBC. I was just into my marriage and finding my feminine side who happens to be lustful yet scared. I am on an alternative personals site where cane be anything you want and meet a few like me there.
I had already been into the metal scene and was going to sing for a metal band years earlier which did not happen. But I started to dye my hair and grow it out, rock and fro right. And some metal or hair bands used make up so we did the eye liner thing and I realized I looked more feminine. So as I am on the site someone tells me about a virtual game called second life where you can be anything and do anything.
I created a character, where you choose a first name, and it gave you choices for a second, low and behold, “Serinity Schmooz,” was born. But this was more then I even realized as I went from being a female to back to male and eventually a shemale character. As I went through the different worlds I found a few that were BDSM and like lots of others ,since never felt the pain used the toys and stuff and watched as I was brutalizing myself.
I then found myself in worlds where I was getting fucked my dragons and vampires and the where was getting it from animals and then demons and found dark worlds where the others would tell me I belonged to Satan. I was told I had a wicked mind and was I a great role player or was it living out fantasy? I the found a world that had transformations and used hypnosis and some sort of body mod machines. I went back to a former form so could be turned into something and it had a caste system where started as a citizen and worked my way back to a servant and slave and even to what is called a chattel.
Was I losing site of reality or just finding a new one, but the thoughts of sexual pain and all still sat in my mind. I then was talking to a black man on the other site and was in awe of his big cock. I started to understand the whole black on white thing and was feeling that horny girl inside. Lets cut this down as we became close online and were setting up for me to be his sissy girl and I was even going to leave my marriage as it was a sham, and still is.
I was working on make up and one weekend while the wife was away I had dressed in goth black and had my breast enhancements and dyed blue black hair in pigtails and had some beer and whiskey and had a pain pills due to kidney stones and was in a new mindset. I looked like a slut from hell and we were talking on messenger and he was teasing me with pics of that cock. I had enough and asked him over. So he cane over and it took over from inside and we needed it.
So we went and he pulled it out and told me to go ahead so I stroked it and got excited and started to suck it and found myself gagging. He told me to ease up but it hit me and I started to suck like a hungry whore as it was like she was inside taking over. I knew she was there and wanted out and I wanted to be her, but how.
He started to finger me and told me I was probably too tight and we kind of proved that the first thirty minutes of no luck. He suggested stopping which seemed to set her off as a challenge and he was already lubed to a point had to wash my sheets before the wife got home. We got into position and with an actual pop he went into us. It was odd as the pain kind of made me melt as I slid down his shaft — the more it hurt and stretched the hornier we got.
He told me later it looked like by my face I changed, and well, we did as that horny demon inside took over. The pain seem to hit my receptors inside and as I slid back up it was like being pulled back down as I rode him After a little I was weak and realized I was sitting on his lap, which meant he was all the way in.
It was weird as I rocked on it even though it still hurt as the pain was taking me away and the figured that I had eight inch of thick black meat inside me and than meant I was no longer Michael and was in fact Serinity. What was even stranger was when he left I lay there gaped and oozing and was talking to nobody, or was it as I felt my hole which was like a worn rag and was asking if they were happy and proud of me. I felt this chill as if pleased and almost swore something said it is only the beginning.
I found myself researching about how pain can do things and do not know how other then maybe something was guiding me as found something about an government experiment called, “MK”. Ultra where they would brainwash people to do things,but then found a report one one particular project where they would take very young girls and by use of sexual brutality would do what they call fractionate their mind so they could be programmed to become sex slaves and their parent helped as this was Hollywood. It was evil, but that is Hollywood where you sell your so for what you want.
So I wondered if using some sort of pain and maybe watching sissy hypnosis or maybe listening to files could help me find who was inside me and to be honest I did not need my soul I thought. Now comes a weird coincidence. I bought some nipple clamps and even some low heat candles and made a home made leg spreader I had hoped to have someone try on me. But my house burned down and we ended up moving.
Now they say God uses fire to build, but now I look back, maybe it was Satan, as we ended up in a place where I became kind of a slave to my wife and her mother and such. It was where took a room in the basement as my office and praise room,though she did not know who I was praising. And she had an upstairs room.
I bought me some lingerie and some toys and had the clamps and candles. I even started to research how to summon demons. But as I started to try the clamps and the wax I bought me a breast pump to grow breasts and was using over-the-counter hormones as well. But when I used the clamps and wax I found myself opening up and was even finding sites would never know with satanic hypnosis and dark stuff.
When we moved in after the fire I tried to go straight at first and even became born again. I was blessed with spiritual gifts of prophesy as did at church and could see visions, but what started as a good thing I found was being used by Satan to reach me. I was scared at first by seeing things in my basement room like shadows and feeling things but then felt comfortable as she was back and guiding. I could not smoke weed as it would be known but as I used the slight pain was guided to videos the used poppers.
I found some and wow. It was like I was close to seeing into their world. Fast forward and we lost that house due to poor money management by my wife as her mom was talking her into us going south, go figure, the bible belt. I was lost and as we left said goodbye to Satan and that he could not go with us and I felt empty. Since being here have felt him and used things to get closer but have had thoughts as what is inside is growing stronger. I have had thoughts and already done things never thought I would and am starting to see things.
PART TWO
It all starts with that first step, right?
Well I found out just how strong she is inside us as she talked me into a ceremony to give part of my soul to show am serious about wanting her and her, “Daddy Satan,” in our lives. So I made an agreement that would give one fifth to Satan though not sure where that number came from.
So we cane up with an elaborate ceremony as the wife and her mom would be gone all day on a Saturday. I even tried to use that it would not be dark and was guided that the dark we needed was inside us. I have had many people tell me many ways as to the proper way to do rituals from having to have candles and incense and all that to not needing any of that as it is the intention and maybe an offering.
But we had it all figured out from the fact that God says he is a gentleman; and will not push himself on you. So we started by denouncing the Holy Spirit. Telling God to leave the room; as his girl was not there. Then as we went to shower to be clean.
We closed the door to the room and asked for the demons to prepare it for us. We had it planned and cleaned ourselves up and out as well. What got me was how, when it came time, I allowed, “Her,” inside to speak; and run it though me — it felt funny — I will just act like its her and do the talking myself.
But things happened I would not have thought and the when it was time to offer the fifth she took over as she said she is half of me and offered her full half. I was stunned as thought this is real and so is she. I felt different and it started to roll downhill from there as now find myself referring to us in many ways from me being feminine to it being us or even me being an it.
I have even found myself being wanted by more on personals sites and ready to indulge sexually. I did a few rituals and have been guided to pull out my toys and use them as an offering and even when not fully cleaned out as I always felt grossed out at that. I even remembered before having my stroke I once took my hormones using my own piss to wash it down.
I have even found where I used to feel the pressure when inserting my toy that if I call on my demons it goes right into me. I have also had people tell me not to call on too many demons and to work with certain ones but I have found when she is in charge she first calls Satan and then Lucifer and Lilith as our parents.
We have called for help from others including the “Four Queens of Hell.” Now I have come to that crossroads as was guided to a man who can have multiple orgasms, so lots of seed and accepts me in a more not perfect feminine form but as one. I even did something would not do as he wanted to be sucked in his office and yet I had work that day.
I was not feeling well so called out and found myself in his office on our knees. Started by sucking and then letting him face fuck me to a point he had my face buried in his belly and held it there as he came down my throat.
Now usually as Michael being feminine once the guy came I am done and did my job, but this time kept sucking him as even though had a feeling he came as swore I tasted it I wanted more.
He is into oral but I found myself under my breath asking for part of him and to send him thoughts of more so he could breed me. I had talked to him about an ass job as it would not have penetration and in hopes if he was between my cheeks I could get him into me. Almost like a succubus so could make him mine through ejaculation.
Again, things are coming to me would never think of or want before. But we are going to do more and now he went from telling me at some point he wanted to ask me to let him do the ass job to telling me he wants to fuck me and breed me.
Then I thought there must be some power in there and maybe the final step to letting her free is the breeding. It would break me and then something cane to me in a weird vision or dream. I had to wait for it to fully finish as it was darker and had all those pain and brainwashing MK Ultra type feel and also satanic as well. So would love any thoughts and here goes.
I am with a few friends who are shall we say darker. We are all dressed, yes they are transvestites. We go out for a drink as they belong to some club where its dark. It is weird as never thought about it but the club even has a special room where they say they have orgies and my friends keep telling me I need to join in sometime.
We go inside and it has a goth, dark theme to it and all kind of people. Oddly enough there are faces of people I think I have met online in dark chats. There are men, women and shemales. One of their friends walks up and buys us a drink and tells me I am cute.
She asks if I want a special girlfriend who can do things my wife cant. She jokes as she asks if I was ever fucked by a demoness succubus and tells me once with her I would never go back. She says all jokes aside she wants to kiss me and so we do. A deep kiss that almost entrances me and makes me weak as she asks if my wife can kiss that way and I should be her wife.
We have some drinks when they bring out this huge bong shaped like the Baphomet; but where the penis and snake are there are where you hit the bong. I watch as people are taking hits and looking at me and I swear I know the faces from sites or dreams.
My two friends ask me to hit it with them as I watch people go into the back room. I ask and she says its a special orgy but one has to be initiated first and if I want to be and they giggle. So as to not be rude I will hit the bong with them and they ask the barmaid to get the good stuff and she does.
They both take the snakes and tell me I get to suck from the phallus and laugh. So they take a big hit and I do as well and choke. They make a joke about me gagging on the phallus and tell me to take it slowly so I do. But it is weird as they tell me to swallow as if was sucking a dick but I do and slightly choke again as a big cloud I blow out of me.
Another friend comes over and asks if I will join the club that have been told is nothing but a cult by others. People wall by and grab my ass and make sounds at me as they tell me they want me to be part of their club. Then they tell me what was in the bong as I start to feel weird. It was a hallucinogen.
I tell them I heard it is a sex cult and they play it off and ask if I like sex and to be able to have sex others wont. Then they joke and say maybe they need to break me first. Although I am feeling fucked up they tell me to take one more hit and see what happens.
I take a long slow hit as the eyes from the bong light up and they gasp. I ask what is going on and they say they have heard but never had anyone get it to light up and that I am chosen by him. I start to stumble and say we need to give him what he wants then.
They tell me it could be some pain involved as I am toasted and that they need to break me in. I am fucked up and retort that no pain no gain. They tell the girl who kissed me to prep and we will be there soon and then a shot is set up for us three. They make a toast in some weird language and we drink and when asked they tell me what was said.
They say it was an offering of myself to break and take me. I said to fill me with the presence of those before me through the drink and make me theirs.They say I have offered myself for pleasure. Then it time to go into the back room and down into the abyss, which is what they call the room.
I am taken to what is a cross between some sort of sanctuary and dungeon. I am taken to where they bind my hands and feet in a standing spread position. They bring over some sort of stand with what appears to be a phallus on it and slip it up under me to where the head is pushing against me asshole.
I get on my feet to keep it from going inside me when I feel something hit my ass. It is a flogger. Then someone uses a small whip across my chest where I have already formed small moobs. I feel the phallus push up under me as it is rising. It is almost inside me as I fight to keep it at bay.
A woman walks up to me with what looks like to piercings that are little round pentagrams and she punches them through my nipples. I am told my tits belong to Satan as they dangle with a little pain. I start to fade from the pain til I realize I am sliding down onto the phallus.
I perk up just in time to feel the whip again ,this time my nipples are sore so I feel the sting more. I am told to surrender and let the pain take me. Again a flogger across the ass and then some sort of cups with suction are put over my sore man breasts and pumped.
I feel the stretch of my skin as a syringe shoots something into my chest. I feel my chest expand as it is filled and is sore and then another smack on my ass as my mind starts to succumb to the pain and I slip. I feel the head of the phallus enter me as am told to let it take over me.
It slides in deeper as the suction is pumped up and my now little breasts turn blue. Those their start to chant and call on demons to enter the room as they tell them the vessel will be ready soon, meaning my body. Then they put some sort of mouth spreader in my mouth shaped like lips as I have seen these before.
Some more whipping and one of the chosen come over and get to their knees and begin to suck me. They take my hips and begin to pull me down on the phallus as they suck and repeat, “Ave Satanas.”
I cannot hold it and explode and as I do go half limp as the phallus goes deep inside til it hits bottom. I am told I only have to surrender for the pain to stop and I nod as the phallus goes through that second sphincter. I am pulled off the phallus and unbound as they take me to some sort of table.
I am in a state of confusion as they lay me down and pull the suction off the reveal puffed up small breasts that are sore and red. They then attach something like hooks to the nipple rings and as I lay there they grab little bowls of wax and begin to pour them over my breasts as I moan.
Then they cover my penis and draw symbols on me. They tell me my will has been broken but they need to break the mind and spirit as they begin to flog the waxed breasts. They tie something to the head of my penis and then they have me sit up and get on all fours.
They put small weights on the hooks to my boobs and a bigger one on my penis as I moan and am ready to faint. I am on all fours as I feel hot wax poured on my ass and then flogged and spanked. I finally have my top drop onto my sore breasts as they line up a fucking machine and put a demon dick on it and slide it into me.
They turn the machine on slow as deep as it fucks and stretches me. I find my body rocking on my sore breasts as I am being fucked. Finally as they flog more my body drops as I am broken. The machine is stopped and removed as I am rolled over and my legs attached to a spreader bar and lifted up.
Each person there has given themselves to different demons and are possessed by same. I watch dazed with glazed over eyes as one mounts my face and slides into the mouth spreader as they call on their demon and fucks my face as another slides up under me and takes my ass.
They perform a ritual as each takes me their demon spirit enters me. Then it comes time as I am no longer in control and am asked if ready to submit. The demons inside call for Satan and a huge man walks over who is hung like a horse.
They remove any bindings as I mist give myself willingly and I spread my legs and feel my hole stretch even more as I start to go blank. Before I know it am being fucked and gaped and then filled. The initiation is over and I am now taken over by my demons to serve the almighty god Satan.