Writer: Pastord
Subject: I’m A Work In Progress
Link: Tumblr / 28.06.2026
I Am A Work In Progress
I come and go, or perhaps I should say cum and go. I stay longer and longer each time, but I am still a conflicted soul.
I’m a current pastor in a real church. But I struggle with a hate-love relationship with the devil. I believe he’s real, very real, and I preach what the Bible says about him. But behind the scenes, I can’t help but sniff a line of sin with him or pop a pill of pleasure for him.
Like I said, a conflicted soul. I burned every bridge I had this last relapse of repentance. I’m sorry to anyone I offended, and I hope you understand.
Living a double life is living a fractured life. And sometimes the attempt to hold both pieces in place becomes overwhelming. Perhaps I’m only talking to myself here, and that’s okay. It’s cathartic.
I can only imagine the huge guilt you feel when you indulge in your natural desire to embrace your lust. Only you can set yourself free of the guilt. Maybe you actually enjoy it, I don’t know. I know in my own case I tried very hard for many decades to stop giving into my lust, but came to realize that it is just who I am. I enjoy it, I want it. I’m not a “bad” person; it is religion that says I’m bad for being who I am. In your case the split is very real. I hope you find what sets your heart and mind at ease. Remember Satan takes as who we are.
Thank you, my friend.