Hello Sabrina – Non-Fiction

Writer: Robert

Subject: Hello Sabrina

Link: LS666 / 19.07.2021

Note from XP: Sharing this to make sure Sabrina meets Robert

Hello Sabrina

I wan to experience the worship of Satan and His demonic legions. I now acknowledge that all my life I have suppressed who I really am. Is it true that you are called by Satan once conceived in you are mother’s womb and that you don’t choose Satan, Satan chooses you? Once I started using crystal meth, I felt this tug to stop living this hypocritical life — to stop pretending to be someone that I was not.

Since childhood, I was offended by other classmates that would call me chocolate, because I had a dark complexion, being that my heritage is Spanish and Native American. Most of time I hung around white caucasian boys and throughout elementary and part of junior high school never had any interest in girls, because I was told they had cooties or if I was seen hanging around them, I was a sissy. All my life, I have always leaned towards being submissive, a follower and not a leader. Since the third grade I felt that I was not accepted by my peers and always wanted to fit in and not be considered as an outcast, like a third wheel, per say. This was the time I felt self-conscious on who I was. I wanted to be white caucasian not latino.

This began my journey to low-self esteem and depression. Next, I don’t know why at the time, it has me wondering why, at thirteen or fourteen years old, I went onto my mother’s lingerie drawer and put on her undergarments, like panties, bra, full-length slip and pantyhose. For me I believe that the feel of these undergarments, especially pantyhose that sexually aroused me and after a few times when I was left at home alone, I looked forward to putting these on and putting on her dresses and heels which led towards being Autogynephilia is a subtype of transvestism that refers specifically to men who become aroused by thinking or visualizing himself as a woman and transvestism — cross-dressing that is sexually arousing and interferes with functioning.

Many times in the past, I have tried to resist these, [what our society considers taboo or not normal] disorders. After engaging in these acts I felt shame and guilt and kept telling myself “never again” and throwing all my feminine clothing in the trash, only later down the road I would start having these urges/desires to dress up like a woman again and this time the urge would be stronger than before, therefore I was powerless to resist them and would go buy everything over and over again. I can recall I threw my cross-dressing stuff away at least four or five times. Sometimes I would go as long as a few months before I yielded to this temptation. It was too hard for me to resist. At seventeen years old I started to frequent the adult video arcades and started watching shemale porn. Now, about thirty some years later, I still dress up in women’s clothing and love doing it. I now recognize through crystal meth, that the demons that have been studying me since birth, know my weaknesses and that I have no self-control when ot comes to lust, perversion and lascivious.

After using crystal meth I started browsing the internet on information about it and why it made me “horny” all the time and stumbled onto this website and others similar to it, which for the first fifty years if my life never knew they existed, such as Tumblr. Bdsmlr and Fetlife. Once I started reading blogs on these websites, I could not stop, I would read them for hours and hours, just like now I goon and edge for eight to ten hours a day at times, paying homage in masturbating while viewing and dressed up like a slot looking at myself in the mirror.

I know now that Satan is the motivator behind all of this and the demons that have oppressed since childhood have attached themselves to my life and will not leave my life. For a short time about seven or eight years ago I started to attend a christian church and would attempt to follow what the holy Bible was telling me how to live my life.

Well, I noticed that these demon spirits which put lustfilled thoughts into my mind, transvestite, substance abuse [since age fifteen] marijuana and alcohol. Thereafter in my forties, crack and recently, the last four or five months crystal meth which I know mixed with porn is evil which I am unable to quit, I love smoking meth dressing-up and watching porn, “I love it too much” to stop doing it. It brings me an external bliss that I have never felt all my life. I know now that this is what Satan’s will for me. In hindsight, I desire to be a in Satan’s kingdom, I now renounced my false religion in following Jesus and all things that are considered holy. And now look forward to being nothing but an object for others to use and abuse for there pleasures.

I believe that I was born to serve and be obedient to Satan and His demons, which is His will not mine. I desire to become a woman in Satan’s service and let all His demons impregnate me to give birth to more of His demon babies to multiply and make His kingdom become stronger and greater. I now have stopped living this hypocritical life I once led, thanks to His demons that know me all so well and tempted me into trying crystal meth.

I know the more I view porn, dress-up and use crystal meth, [which is food] for these depraved, perverted lust hungry spirits … it is what they seek when they roam this earth … looking for someone who will freely invite them into there life so they can use my body and mind as an earthly vessel to keep me enslaved to there desires. The more I allow these demons that have manifested within me, to constantly put these thoughts into my mind and tempt me into yielding to temptation.

When our creator made this world he put these spiritual laws I to effect. Just like Jesus will not force himself into so.eones life unless invited, same goes for these unclean and wicked spirits, who roam this earth seeking a host to inhabit. Because these unclean spirits are living in this spiritual realm known as the astral plane [a realm unseen by the physical world] can sniff out anyone who is letting this negative energy omit from them & attracts these insane spirits to then by opening portals and doorways for them to enter.

Once they enter it us very hard to get rid of them and if you keep committing these acts, more of these spirits enter into your life, depending on the sin, an individual can have hundreds or thousands live within them. My question Sabrina, I have renounced my false God and have at times blasphemed and desecrated, but the holy spirit is still fighting me and I want to expel him from my life and serve and love my one true God, Satan. Please send me some info or guide me into what I am doing wrong?