From A Wayward Pastor by David Plume

Writer: David Plume AKA Pastor David

Subject: From A Wayward Pastor

Link: Tumblr / 20.07.2025

Art: G. Nic

A Morning Prayer From A Wayward Pastor

Lord Satan, I am a work in progress. Guide me — my cock and my soul — into the perversions my flesh longs for, the unspeakable pleasures you provide. Lord Jesus, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening. But I’m tired of holding back. There is a me that’s been caged up far too long, and he is hungry. Goddamn fucking hungry. In the name of all that is unholy, Nema!

I Want To Have Faith

But what is more real? What I think is real, what I hope is real by faith or what I feel—beautifully and orgasmically feel? That’s my crisis of faith. The faith I’ve professed for more than forty years and preached for decades. Think about it. I pray, but what happens? Really? I speak Satan’s name as I masturbate, though, and he fills my mind with the most forbidden images to inspire me and I have the most intense orgasms ever. Like I said, what is more real?

Honest Prayer Of A Wayward Pastor

Satan, you know I’m not well versed in praying to you. And I don’t have the poetry of written prayers I’ve seen. All I have is me. And you know me. I’m a Christian. I’m a pastor. I’m not mad at God. I’m just … looking and lusting for more. Honestly, I’m afraid. All I’ve ever known is that you’re evil and a liar. Perhaps both are true. But you’ve made me feel things in the recent past that I didn’t even know were possible. Euphoria and ecstasy don’t describe the freedom of mind and soul, the pleasure long denied, and the blood rush into my cock that explodes in the greatest orgasms of my life. You are irresistible. God knows I’ve tried. Literally, god knows. I’m still a work in progress, as you know. And I don’t know what is around the corner. But for now, I’m open. I feel you even now as I pray. Thank you for breaking open doors of desire — dark and delicious, devilish desire — long locked by my religion. May I taste forbidden fruit in your perfect time. In the name of all that is unholy, Nema.

My Fall From Grace

Some Christians know that terminology. Whether you know it or agree with it or not, I welcome any assistance you might give a “Wayward Pastor” as he descends into darkness. Satan is showing me beautiful things, giving me incredible sensations, revealing desires I never knew I had … and now I’m consumed with them.

Ramblings Of A Wayward Pastor

I’ve spent decades as a pastor, carrying the weight of ministry on my shoulders and living by a set of beliefs I thought were truth. But lately, I’ve found myself staring down a question I never thought I’d ask: Was it all worth it? The sermons, the prayers, the endless striving to be the man I was supposed to be—it’s left me feeling hollow in ways I didn’t expect. There’s this pull now. I know it’s Satan, and I’m supposed to fight against his temptations. But I don’t, I think because I don’t want to.

It’s not just about rebellion or what churches call sin. It’s something deeper … darker—but not in the way people usually think. When I give in to these sensations, there’s a sense of immediate fulfillment that washes over me. I find myself reciting prayers — not to God, but to Satan, to forces I can’t fully explain. It’s not about depravity for its own sake, but about stepping into a spiritual darkness I’ve kept locked away for too long. And the crazy thing is … this darkness feels like home.

The more I sink into it, the more I realize I like what I’m feeling. Even if many would call it wrong, even if it’s supposed to be something I should fear or hate about myself — I don’t. This is real to me. It’s raw, it’s unfiltered, and it’s where I’m meant to be right now. I’m not pretending to have all the answers. I’m not sure where this road leads. But for the first time in a long time, I feel alive—something I never felt fully in the light. So yeah, I’m embracing this darkness, not because I want to destroy myself, but because it feels like the only place left where I can be truly, painfully, beautifully me.

Fellow Christians and pastors, you will probably throw Scriptures at me. I get that. I’ve done the same. But have you ever tasted the darkness, felt its seductive caress? It’s amazing. Just once, let a little darkness inside. Get alone, no one else has to know or will ever know, and just experience it. If he does nothing for you, walk away with wisdom like Solomon’s when he experimented with sin. I’d love to hear from you, especially if you’re a pastor like me.

I’m A Pervert

One of the enticements of Satan, I think, at least for me, is that what others call perverted, he offers as a gift. I have hungry, uncontested desires that long to be brought into reality. They’re hidden … for now. But I don’t know how much longer I can contain them. They are dark and devilish. Depraved and, yes, perverted. And I love then.

How Did I Get Here?

I wonder sometimes how I got here … not here as in Tumblr but here as in darkness and delicious depravity. I’m a pastor! A fucking pastor! And I’m lusting for unspeakable evils and whispering Satan’s name as I masturbate … because I know he inspires my forbidden desires. I’ve lived a typical pastor’s life, denied myself many things … many pleasures … because I thought it’d be worth it in the end. Part of me still thinks that. But other parts of me, like the part of me growing stiffer even as I type, says, “Fuck it!”

It scares me what I’d do if given the chance. I’ve steered clear of temptations for many years (well, not completely but mostly), but lately I find myself letting my hand linger a few seconds too long on women’s lower back after hugs or squeezing their sides ever so softly as we pull apart. I feel like the dog chasing the car—what will I do with it if I catch it? I think I know what I will do. Break marriage vows. Violate innocence. Love every second of sin. I should resist, repent, and run. But not yet.

Darkness Speaks To Me

“Come on, don’t be shy. Step into the darkness I’m offering — not some scary nothing, but a place where lust takes over and rules everything. Let go of all those rules and hang-ups. Give in to the raw, burning desire that’s been waiting under the surface.

“Feel the heat rising, your heart pounding, every touch and look making you crave more. Here, nothing’s off-limits. Every craving is yours to satisfy, every pleasure yours to take. Forget what you were told—this is where real freedom lives.

“So why hold back? Give in to that hunger inside you. Let it take control and show you what it means to really feel alive. I’m right here, calling you to taste the darkness and lose yourself in the wild rush of lust.”

Taste The Darkness

Feel the pulse of the night, the thrill of surrender, the fierce freedom in letting go. Maybe you’ll find what I found: that lust isn’t just temptation—it’s a beautiful dark flame that awakens something buried deep inside, something alive and hungry. Christian — pastor, even — taste the darkness. Just a taste. If the blood rush doesn’t hit you like it hits me, walk away. But how will you know unless you try it. What do you have to lose but the chains?

Breaking Free

At first, the weight of faith feels like chains—tight, suffocating, and cold. But as I step away, those chains shatter, and I plunge into a world where desire is no longer forbidden but celebrated. Lust becomes a wildfire inside me—untamed, fierce, and utterly consuming. It’s not just about sex or physical craving; it’s a hunger for sensation, for power, for the raw pulse of life itself.

Every touch, every glance, every whispered promise is electric, a thrill that sets my nerves ablaze and drowns out the quiet voice of conscience. The boundaries I once respected dissolve, replaced by a reckless abandon that feels like freedom. There is no guilt, no shame—only the dizzying pleasure of surrendering to the flesh’s demands.

In this new existence, lust is a language, a way to communicate with the world and with myself. It is chaos and clarity all at once, a dark euphoria that both exhilarates and exhausts me. I am chasing something—maybe meaning, maybe escape—but all I know is the relentless pull of desire, dragging me deeper into a night where nothing is off-limits and everything is possible.

There’s A Rush In Giving In

An intoxicating freedom in shedding old restraints. Lust no longer feels like a sin or a burden but a raw, electric force pulling me deeper into a world where desire rules without judgment. It’s chaotic, overwhelming, and thrilling — a hunger that consumes and drives me to chase every craving without shame. In this new darkness, lust isn’t just temptation; it’s a kind of euphoria, a rebellion against the order I once lived by, and a way to feel alive in the most primal sense.

Lies I’ve Told Myself

“Sex has to follow the Bible’s rules” — but why? Why can’t I crave what I want, when I want it?

“I shouldn’t masturbate” — but who says I have to deny myself that rush?

“Porn is evil” — but it cracks open something wild inside me, something no preacher ever dares talk about. Because if people really knew what’s on the other side, they’d taste the fordidden fruit and be glad.

“Satan is the bad guy” — but what if that’s just a manipulation tactic to scare me away from freedom?

I’ve lived in a constant world of no — no to drugs, no to drinking, no to pleasure outside marriage. So, why am I still craving every forbidden thing? And why now … after decades of ministry? I’ve been told and I have taught to bury “sinful” desires, to lock them up and throw away the key. But that doesn’t work—they burn hotter every day! I’ve been told lust is sin, but it feels like life pulsing through my veins, screaming to be unleashed. So, fuck the rules. I’m done with the shame. I want the fire, the chaos, the raw, unfiltered hunger. I want to taste the darkness and see what it really means to be free.