Feedback – THE DEVIL’S DOORWAY

Some feedback on THE DEVIL’S DOORWAY. Thanks WMX for your feedback. I wanted to share it, in form of appreciation of the effort and time taken for your critique. II hope you don’t mind me sharing… but your commentary means a lot to me…

From WMX:

Hmm it is interesting.

There’s something darkly erotic and intensely sexual in that area of total hedonistic abandonment where most of your stories seem to lie. Father Thornton and John Riley are lightly characterized, but more would have been welcome – especially as they relate to each other. Thornton’s betrayal of Riley and Riley’s death might have greater impact if we understood the dynamic between the men and who they are a bit better. I wished for a slower ramp-up, with more time to explore the mystery that is in front of the characters.

Thornton’s desire for the girls could be the spur that starts him down the dark path of having sex with them and eventually joining the satanic cult. Does Thornton have to keep his newfound promiscuity secret from Riley? Does Father Riley discover this sexual behavior? Does this drive a wedge between them that culminates in the betrayal in the final act? The mystery felt like it got short shrift too. More clues for the characters to discover would have been nice, aside from the overtly Satanic ritual scene itself. Maybe dark books or scrawled notes, whispers overheard from among the girls, stories from the nuns that don’t add up – some fuel for the fire of Thornton and Riley’s initial suspicions. It felt like it raced along to the ending a bit abruptly in that regard.

But still, it was an exciting story. Erotic and perverse and decadent almost to the point of self-caricature. I hope you write more like it. There is a certain provocativeness in the gloomy description of the setting that works, though there are a few errors (especially of the near-homonym type) that would benefit from proofreading. I know how hard it is to find a good proofreader for stories about raping little girls though!

With so many of your stories sharing very common themes, have you considered some common elements to unite them? There could be some recurring things which identify it as “in-universe” for your works, such as repeat characters or organizations or even references to events in other stories. It might be an interesting way to tie some of these things together. Just a thought. I’ve also found it helpful to try to challenge myself with different themes and genres to grow as a writer, instead of staying to a comfortable space where it feels like I’m writing the same story over and over. But in the end, I guess you have to write what excites you.

Looking forward to the next one, WMX

My response.

As always. Enlightening.

I am interested in the thought about the reoccurring.

Yes, I have various paraphilias that seem to power my desire to write. And in the first instance, these were the inspiration as well as the reason for writing. As I could not find the material that I wanted to read about – so DAMN IT, I thought, I will have to write it myself… just as I had drawn my own perverted porn as a young eleven year old child.

I actually began writing, never intending to share these stories with anyone else. They were simply a deeply felt expressions of my perverted sexual psyche. I recognized how fucked up I was. Even reveling in my own sexual depravity. But the urge to create was born from this dissatisfaction with whatever was out there. It drove me purposefully… and finding others who enjoyed similar paraphilias was the result.

How wonderful. I was not alone.

OK. Sorry, I digress. The re-occurrence of themes, characters and organizations, linking stories… it sounds far more sophisticated than my fundamental skill set, but not untenable… it needs time and thought and I appreciate your recognition. Thank you.

Apologies for the typos. It is difficult to proof-read stuff. And I am very time poor. I pour into this everything I have (available), but get frustrated at my lack of progress. It’s a perennial problem.

XP