Dark Lord’s Prayer by Another Tortured Poet

I call upon you Dark Lord, who was, who is now, and who shall always be, the one true god, Satan. On calling you forward I denounce the three falsehoods of the Abrahamic religions, Christianity, Judaism and Islam. I also denounce by name the Abrahamic Gods along with their prophets and disciples: Jehovah, Jesus Christ, Yahweh, Elohim, Allah and Mohammad.

I ask you to enter me, Dark Lord and guide me as I walk along the Left Hand Path. Help me to overcome the barriers in my mind and help me experience the behaviours and actions that lead me to live a sexually liberated lifestyle, full of wisdom, lust and knowledge.

Allow me to enjoy the pleasures of giving and receiving to man and woman alike. I ask that you keep my Cock hard, my balls full and my seed plentiful, so I may sow it as you see fit. Forever in your name, from now until the end of time. Ave Obscurum Dominum.