MY JOURNEY by Hoku Lani

Writer: Hoku Lani

Subject: MY JOURNEY

Link: Zangi / 14.02.2026

My Journey

The Past

An early life profoundly shaped by Christian teachings was marked by a pervasive sense of fear and self-recrimination, a constant plea to “fear God and beg forgiveness.” This manifested in fervent appeals for salvation, often immediately followed by cycles of personal transgression and desperate supplication for divine pardon, even for acts as natural as self-exploration.

Years were spent in earnest prayer, striving for an unattainable godliness, consuming scripture, and even entertaining an imagined calling to missionary work or ministry. Yet, deepening theological inquiry only bred more unanswered questions, leading to a period of eclectic spiritual exploration that touched upon Buddhism and Islam.

Ultimately, the intensity of this spiritual quest receded, subsumed by the relentless demands of adult life—the ‘slavery’ of work, financial obligations, and the superficial allure of consumerism. The subsequent awakening of a deeper, primal self wasn’t triggered by a singular event, but rather a subtle accumulation, perhaps foreshadowed by existing indigenous rituals of cleansing in the ocean, protective gestures, and the ancient grace of Hula.

It was within this nascent rediscovery of self that human nature asserted itself through the liberating embrace of sensuality and the cherished escape found in sexual expression. A pivotal turning point arrived with the guidance of Lilith, channeled through Lucy Az, an encouragement that ignited a profound awakening within ‘Hoku,’ leading to the recognition of a potent calling: to serve and facilitate others in embracing Lilith’s emancipatory enlightenment.

This new path unfolded into the discovery of Sex Magick, Sigil Magick, scrying, and a deep attunement to the potent spiritual energies inherent in the Hawaiian landscape. Finally, a deliberate act of “blaspheming the Trinity” served as a cathartic severing, obliterating the lingering guilt from years of early indoctrination and paving the way for complete spiritual autonomy.

The Present

The day commences long before dawn, hours before sunrise, mirroring its previous conclusion with an initial communion with “The Dark Mother.” This initial engagement often segues into a focused digital exploration of the “Ethereal” realm, a time dedicated to catching up on erotic content discovered or noted during nocturnal “Astral” travels.

This phase, described as acknowledging greetings and seeking out “dark porn to get the juices flowing,” serves as a crucial awakening. Following a swift change of clothes, a thirty-minute drive begins, often accompanied by YouTube content delving into occult topics – from Sigil and Sex Magick to discussions of Asmodeus, Isis, and an unwavering focus on Lilith, frequently interspersed with critiques of biblical narratives.

Brief email checks precede either a fitness center visit or a shower, but a consistent ritual weaves through these activities: a dedicated period of scrolling through digital feeds, honoring figures like Lilith and Satan through a practice involving self-pleasure, seamlessly integrated with continued digital engagement.

While these personal rituals are significant, they do not consume the entire day, as substantial time is dedicated to professional work and extensive research. Evenings bring a return home, continuing the cycle of research and engaging with erotic material.

The culmination of the day, before venturing into the Astral realm once more, involves a final act of digital engagement and self-pleasure, explicitly invoking Lilith, Asmodeus, Lucifer, or other “Old Ones” as a nightly offering, concluding with meditation and a focused invocation of Lilith.

The Future

Continued research and devotion resulting in growth to manifest the best version of myself while honoring The Dark Goddess Lilith, and The Dark Lord to the fullest of my abilities without the restrictions of what others label as taboo. To share this with others and hopefully awaken this power in others at a much earlier age than my awakening.

Salvete Lamia and Ave Satanas.