Feature Writer: SaltySaboteur

Feature Title: Summon a Farmer

Published: 23.04.2021

Story Codes: Erotic Horror

Synopsis: Over-sexed succubus summons a guy for some cuddles

Summon a Farmer


I was closing the door to the hen-house when the ground ate me.

Red lines of light spiraled about my feet, and I immediately felt myself start to sink in. Dern it. I managed to reach out and lock the hens up in the coup, before the cold earth filled my senses, and darkness swallowed my view of the farm.

Expecting to feel suffocation, I found I could somehow manage ragged breaths. Could I still move? I placed the warm eggs I was holding into my suspender pocket. Ayup.

A dim red glow appeared at my feet, blossoming into a yawning void. I fell through it, landing on a floor in a heap. I rolled into a sitting position, checking myself. The eggs were unharmed, at least. I seemed fine—perhaps my large form and extra padding had smoothed the landing.

This place I found myself did not look quite as fine. A lake of fire stretched before me, molten rock bubbling and churning up in burning pillars. Winged figures sailed over the flames, while dark silhouettes shimmered and swarmed on an ashen shore.

I wiped my brow with my kerchief. Geez. Aw heck. This was heck. This is what I get for stealing Lou Ann’s cheese sticks in the third grade.

A sharp voice cracked from my left. “-and 99 souls by Tuesday. Don’t mess this up again, Dierdrelion. I know you’re a pathetic dog, but at least try not to show it.”

The voice came from a mirror, in which the head of a giant fly hissed and buzzed at the young women standing away from me, who was nodding along to the reprimands. Ebony wings stretched from her shoulder blades, ending in pale spikes not unlike the ivory horns curving from her head. Steam spilled from bare feet, and steamed from the corner of her frowning lips. She was picking at the skin on her thumb.

“Er-yes, Lord Beelzebub. 99 more seductions. And with whips, I promise.” Her voice was low and elegant, like Godiva chocolate in the wrapper. But when she turned and saw me, she squealed in a much higher pitched tone.

“Ahah! My summoning worked! You are trapped here human, doomed within my lair.” She seemed a little surprised.

I looked around. The platform of obsidian stone, suspended hundreds of feet above lava was impressive, if a bit bare on furnishing. “Very nice lair, miss.”

She coughed. “Eh-hem.” Then she placed her hands on her hips. I became very aware that she was only wearing some sort of punk lingerie, with a lot of black leather and metal straps that barely covered anything. I tried to be respectful-like and focus on her elbows.

She drew close to me, running a hand along my shoulder and beard. “I am Dierdrelion, succubus and devil. Surely, you must be terrified.” She seemed almost hopeful.

I got to my feet. I felt a little embarrassed. First, she’d obviously put a lot of effort into putting this whole show together, and I wasn’t prepared. Hadn’t known I’d be spending time in hell this evening. Honestly, I was also feeling a little self-conscious with my body. I didn’t really feel proud of it in the best of times, and I didn’t like the way my suspenders hugged my belly.

“Uh, yes ma’am. A very scary hell you’ve got here.” I took off my cap, and pointed to the rack of saws and whips by the mirror. “I quite like yer tool bench that you’ve got. You do much construction?”

She blinked owlishly. “Uh. Yeah-Yes!” She picked up a saw, edges blunt and jagged. “We shall have all sorts of fun together, with this…” She thumbed the blade, somehow not getting cut.

I moved to examine it with her. “I see ya. 3” gauge, dual handle. You got yer lumber?” I didn’t see any lumber. Damn. Was I supposed to have brought it?

Her winks beat in agitation. “Uh, no. Not construction.” She flew over to a large, black sheeted bed. “Prepare, uh, prepare yourself… man. For, for your body may be handsome and soft, and very inviting…” she glanced at me, then glanced away. “But I am a succubus, and when I finish seducing you, nothing will be left. Because you’ll be dead. From the fucking.”

My cheeks flooded. Seduce? That was rather forward.

A harsh wind blew, and I stumbled to the edge of the bed. She brought up her hands to my suspenders. “Yes, I will drain the essence from you just, as soon as I… uh.” The buttons were giving her trouble. “Fuck, just a sec. Got it.”

All too soon, I was there in my birthday suit in front of this very sweet demon lady. I felt petrified with anxiety. But I wasn’t the only one. Was she… trembling? “Ma’am? You doen’ all right?”

And then she was bawling. Large sloppy tears all down her cheeks, streams of snot from the nose. “Ok you’re not supposed to ask me that! I’m seducing you for devilssake! I, oh fuck.”

Oh dear. Clambering up next to her, I patted her clawed hand. “Now missy, it’ll turn out all right.” I picked up the comforter and put it over her. “Now let’s hear it.”

She blinked at me through tears. For a second, she seemed shocked. Then she dove in. Work was hellish. Boss felt evil, work environment felt too heated. All these expectations from her parents to be a Satan-fearing professional that they knew she was. Fear of disappointing them.

“And now, and now, I’m supposed to summon people, seduce them, and then fuck them to death. Just like that.” Dierdelion slumped onto his shoulder. “But… I don’t even feel sexy most of the time? I just feel awkward in my body.”

I was quiet for a moment.. letting her know I was processing what she’d said. “You know, I don’t usually feel good about my body either. I don’t always like how I’m shaped.”

She wiped away a tear. “But… you’re so beautiful!” I could feel her eyes take me in. “The muscular arms… your cuddly belly… the giant penis… and your cute little feet.”

I laughed. “That’s most kind of you say, miss Dierdrel, Dierd… Diedre. I will say you are beautiful as well. Beautiful to me. Dangerous, for sure. And very cute.”

She smiled, and I thought my heart would spring a leak. “Hey… uh, you look cold. Get under the blanket with me.”

Then we were lying under the comforter, side by side. Wanting to comfort her, I wrapped my arms around her, bringing her in for a bear hug. She melted into my embrace, tucking her wings in against my chest. We were like that for a few hours, just chatting, snuggling, and giggling.

“So then, after I tell Beetlejuice to shove it up his proboscis, maybe I could start my own thing. A self-owned gig, haunting people the way I want to. I think I’d like that.” I gave her a reassuring squeeze on her soot-flecked shoulder. She crinkled her nose at me. Then leaned in for a kiss. Her lips gently locked into mine, seeking, finding. I felt a great fire in that kiss, but it was a fire held off—contained.

And darn it, I kissed her back. Warm pecks on her lips and jaw, hoping she didn’t mind my beard against her neck. By the noises coming from her throat, she didn’t. My heart was thundering, but I was in no rush. This amazing person was in my arms, and heck I was going to show her some of what I felt. I cupped her soft cheek in my palm, and kissed her slow. Pushing in and back with waves of tension, listing to her breath hitch when I reached down and held her hip, and tugging her firm against me.

Sheets rustled as she flipped over. Big red eyes filled my vision, blinking at me. So I kissed her eyebrows, and booped her nose with mine. She giggled, and butted her head up into my neck.

“Hey. Uh… what’s your name?”

I massaged circles into her shoulder. Sheesh, she had some real knots. “It’s Travis. Travis Mayfield”

Her hand trailed over my hip, her heat feeling like a sunburn in reverse. “Travis… Thanks for making me laugh. Um…” Her hand clenched. “So, the thing is, I’m really horny. Like, for you. But, I’m also the most relaxed I’ve been in millennia. I don’t want to mess that up.”

“You… want to have sex?”

“Definitely. But fucking would stop the cozy… and also possibly kill you.”

“Oh. Well, is that all?”

She let out a meep when I rolled her back over, and pulled up tight against my chest. Were all demon’s this light? I brought my arm around to reassure her, holding her firm and steady.When her breathing had slowed again, my hand started at her knee. Slow, deliberate circles, tracing from her knee up into her thigh. I could see her about to open her mouth, so I captured her lips in mine. I felt her moan into me when my finger reached her opening lips. She hadn’t been lying about being horny.

I kissed her jaw. “Is this okay for you?” My finger paused below her clit.

Her eyes were half shut. “A little higher… yeah. Just that speed, just that speed. Oh.”

“You look so cute.”

She tried to headbutt my chin and missed. “Shuddup. Ok, a little faster.”

Her hips started rocking, matching the speed of my rhythm motion. “I… oh.. this.” Her hips bucked.

I reached down and slid my dick between her legs. The head teased her opening, sliding against her moistened lips with every movement of her body.

“Oh cheater.” Her hand drifted down to press the cock head tighter against her. “Not playing fair. Listen, I-” I kissed her, she broke away gasping. “Oh-shit, I’m-” My fingers sped up, running a devilish loop within her. “Oh. Fuck, Travis I-”

She broke off, cheeks coloring. Her back arched against mine, and I held her in my arms, letting her thrashes sink in into my warm muscle. I gave Dierdre a hug.

Before pushing her onto her back and rolling on top.

Her eye immediately lit up in excitement, and what I could only describe as something predatory. But then anxiety crept in. “Hey. I don’t want you to get hurt. I want to keep going, but fucking is…”

I lowered myself down, smothering her in a full body embrace. Legs intertwined, heads side by side. “Hey. It’s ok. I have something else in mind.”

Her wings shook against the bed as my cock head pushed into her. Considering how wet she was, I could have thrust in like a finger into an open mouth. But I didn’t. I kept the head there, gently slipping in and sliding out as I got back to the beautiful work of kissing her. Light smooches on her smooth neck. Nibbles on the ivory of her horns. Full kisses delivered to her incredulous smile.

“This… it isn’t fucking.” Her tone had a question in it, but her lips smiled deeper into mine.

“Nope.” I added another inch, pushing in against her bottom wall, then drawing out against her top. My hands echoed the motion on her neck, massaging out the knots.

Another inch deeper on the next stroke. She wrapped lithe arms around me, claws cradling my waist. Another inch. Muscled legs crossed over my ass, rubbing against me. She sighed into my ear. “You fucker. How can you tease me like this.”

“Oh, hush yourself hon.”

Another inch of cock. Her tongue tangled against mine, and I realized it was forked. Another inch. I started to hear wet slaps when we collided. Then, not breaking eye contact, I filled her. “Hey, Dierdre.”

“Come on and kiss me.”

She brought her lips up to meet me as we came together and came apart—slowly, at our own pace. I accidently bumped my nose into her eye and we giggled, foreheads meeting. Her pussy clenched tight and warm on me, and as much as a part of me wanted to hoist her knees up, pull her dark hair into my fist, and fuck her hard—that wasn’t what this moment was for.

Dierdre tilted her head to meet mine. Her lips let a sigh escape as her hips rose up to meet mine: dipping, surging, sinking into each other. “Travis… this is sex, but I feel really relaxed. I feel. Uh. Safe.” Her eyes bored into me.” This isn’t what I know. What is it?”

I felt a warmth in my chest. I didn’t think it was from the sex- though parts of me were very warm from that. “It’s making love, honey. I’m trying to show you that I like you.

“Trying to show you how much there is to be liked, and be loved.”

I thought she may have blushed, but with the glow of hellfire it was hard to be sure. “Huh. You humans sure are weird.” She kissed me, and I could feel the change from before. This kiss wasn’t seeking, thirsting. It felt like her warm lips were giving heat back. “Well… I like it.”

With a pop she had slung herself off my dick and flipped me over. H-had she always been that strong? How-

My thoughts ceased when her hand gripped the base of my cock. “Now, hush up, and hold my hair back for me.

“I’m hungry.”


Late the next morning, I found a diabolic looking stove top, tucked next to a row of iron maidens. When Dierdre finally woke up, I had a plate of two fried eggs waiting.

“Good morning, hon. Daggum, you sleep like a dead woman.”

Her face took in the eggs. Then flicked back up to me, with eyes glowing with something like hope. “Dead, huh?” She grinned, with a mouth full of egg. “But if I’m dead with you… it certainly ain’t hell.”


3 thoughts on “SUMMON A FARMER”

  1. This is an amusing, and pleasant, little story. Thanks for it.

    Hail Satan! Hail Lilith !

    1. Hail George … it’s the title that made me ask “what the fuck?”

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