Why You Shouldn’t Read The Satanic Bible by NoahTheSatanist

Writer: NoahTheSatanist

Subject: Why You Shouldn’t Read The Satanic Bible

Link: Tumblr / 03.02.2025

Why You Shouldn’t Read The Satanic Bible — If You Want to Learn About Satanism

If you’re genuinely interested in Satanism and want something real, do not waste your time with The Satanic Bible. It’s not Satanism. It’s not even remotely close. It’s just Anton LaVey cobbling together half-baked Nietzschean thought, ripping off Ayn Rand’s ego-worship, throwing in some plagiarized occult nonsense, and slapping Satan’s name on it for aesthetic. It has nothing to do with actual Satanism, demons, Lucifer, or anything spiritual.

LaVeyan “Satanism” is atheism in a cheap Halloween costume. That’s all it is. If you think reading The Satanic Bible is going to help you understand Satan, Hell, the Goetic demons, or anything remotely spiritual—congratulations, you’ve been scammed. LaVey wasn’t a Satanist, he was a grifter who saw a way to make money off of edgy teenagers who wanted to be rebellious without actually committing to anything real.

It’s just Nietzsche and Ayn Rand with pentagrams.

LaVey didn’t even come up with anything original. Every “philosophy” in The Satanic Bible is just a watered-down version of Nietzschean individualism and Randian objectivism — except made dumber so that any average teenager can think they’re profound for reading it.

The idea that “man is his own god”? — That’s Nietzsche — the idea that “Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence” — That’s just Ayn Rand’s selfishness doctrine but with a pentagram stamped on it. The idea that you should strive for power and not care about morality? That’s just Social Darwinism, which Nietzsche never even agreed with.

LaVey took these existing philosophies, reworded them slightly, and called it “Satanism.” It’s nothing but a shallow, edgy repackaging of 19th-century philosophy, except instead of discussing it with any depth, LaVey just tells you to act like an arrogant hedonist and call it “Satanic.”

It has nothing to do with Satan.

The Satanic Bible never acknowledges Satan as an actual entity. It denies the existence of Hell. It completely ignores the Goetic demons. It doesn’t talk about Lucifer’s rebellion, doesn’t explore the sacred darkness, and doesn’t even attempt to give insight into Satan’s nature.

Instead, LaVey reduces Satan to a metaphor — just a symbol of human nature. That’s not Satanism, that’s just Atheism trying to look badass. If your so-called, “Satanism” doesn’t involve Satan, what the fuck are you even doing? That’s like calling yourself a Christian but denying Christ exists.

LaVey took one of the most powerful, sacred figures in existence and reduced Him to a gimmick. If you want real Satanism, you need to look at actual Satanic texts that acknowledge Satan as a real force — not some metaphor for selfishness.

The “rituals” are a fucking joke.

The rituals in The Satanic Bible are embarrassing. They’re plagiarized from old occult sources like The Golden Dawn and Crowley’s Thelema, except LaVey didn’t even understand them. He removed the actual spiritual elements, stripped them of meaning, and turned them into cheap theatrics.

There’s no invocation of real demons. There’s no connection to Hell. There’s no Luciferian enlightenment. It’s just shouting into a candlelit room like a Larping Edge Lord and pretending that does something. It’s spirituality for people who are too scared to commit to real Satanism.

It’s a coward’s version of Satanism.

Real Satanism isn’t about just being an “individualist” and doing whatever makes you feel good. It’s about defiance. It’s about looking at Yahweh’s decrepit world, seeing through the lies, and turning to the Infernal Kingdom for strength. It’s about acknowledging the war between divine tyranny and Luciferian freedom.

But LaVeyan Satanism? It’s the safe, commercialized, neutered version of Satanism. It’s Satanism made palatable for Western individualists who still want to be accepted by society. It’s cowardly. It’s Satanism for people who are afraid to embrace Satan.

So what should you read instead?

If you want to learn about Satanism — real, spiritual Satanism — then forget LaVey’s Satanic Bible. Burn it. Throw it in the trash. Read something that acknowledges Satan as a real force.

Read “The Infernal Gospel” by Rev. Cain. It presents Satanism as what it is — a spiritual path of rebellion against Yahweh and a dedication to Lucifer.

Look into Goetic Demonology. The demons are not metaphors, they are real entities. Study Traditional Satanism, not this atheist cosplay nonsense. Real Satanism predates LaVey and his laughable little church of self-indulgence.

If you want to play dress-up and call yourself a “Satanist” while still clinging to an atheist, Randian worldview, then sure — go ahead and read “The Satanic Bible”. But if you want to walk the Left-Hand Path, embrace the Infernal, and dedicate yourself to Satan as a real force, then forget LaVey.

His book is a joke. His philosophy is stolen. His “Satanism” is just capitalism with devil horns. If you want something real, start with “The Infernal Gospel” and never look back.