Welcome To My Nightmare by Destiny1961

Writer: Destiny1961

Subject: Welcome To My Nightmare

Link: Email LS666 / 06.03.2022

 

Welcome To My Nightmare

Chapter 1

I have been writing for a bit and have been using black and chaos type magick to try and summon demons, and Satan himself, to help me transform into a sissy, transvestite or shemale. It has been a journey and recently have felt the presence of possibly Astaroth as I ask for help. I have used hypnosis and over-the-counter hormones to help and wanted to share my journey.

I had someone help me use hypnosis to help open up my alter ego.

He started by asking me to take a test to see how well I may be able to fall into trance. After the test — he said I was a somnambulist — which meant I could trance and programmed. He said that I should be careful. He even made me a file to teach me to trance so I could I see things. 

Chapter 2

So what did I feel? What did I see? The hypnotist must have added feminine memories to my dream memory — and my trance brought out someone within me that I learned was Serinity.

There is a doorway and I open it. I see stairs and a rail that looks like a long snake. As I slide my hand down it, the rail feels warm, like a snake skin. I walk down the steps as I start to feel sleepy — more of a dreamlike state — I feel like the steps are sticky and gooey, like they’re covered in semen. 

I reach the bottom.

There is an elevator across the room, so walk to it. The floor feels sticky. I get to the elevator. The elevator doors are mirrored and I see myself reflected. My reflection changes from male to female. The doors open and I walk in. There are buttons from twenty-five down to one, and two below that are different. The elevator has an old blacklight inside that glows. The buttons are triangles that are kind of blueish green. The two lower ones are a glowing red and shaped like pentagrams.

I reach out and punch floor one and the elevator starts to go down. I reach the floor and the doors open. Across the room is another door. I walk over to it and it is marked, “memory” room. I open the door and go inside. Across the room is a dresser with drawers marked as “memories”. Inside the top draw are old style Polaroids of me as a boy. In  the second drawer there are also pictures of me — but as a young girl. The hypnotist listened and I had told him what I had seen each time and that at the end I would follow the route back up and out of trance. I told the hypnotist that, at one point, when leaving the room, I saw a door marked “femme” room.

The hypnotist guided me forward. I went back into trance and this time went into the “femme” room. I saw a sweet canopy bed and hope chest in the corner and pink drapes and posters of feminine things like hello kitty. I went there a few times. As we started to talk about the hypnosis session to bring out Destiny. I felt I wanted it to be done kind of dark, though not sure why. So we started to talk about it and I went back into trance. This time I went into the femme room and as I sat on the bed , looking through photographs, something was coming through the vents.

I noticed a few not so nice pics as a female child as the doom got foggy. It smelled like a cross between weed and shall I say a doctors laughing gas. I laid back and had what I thought was a dream. I closed my eyes and it only took what seemed like a second and as I opened them in the foggy room was a shadow telling me it was my real daddy. The canopy bed was now black with some sort of restraints like a BDSM bed.

The wall had demonic symbols and an inverted cross. I felt a presence and it touched me and told me I would be alive soon. It told me this was who was meant to be, though while feminine still had a little dick. But I was no longer my age but very young. I was only nine years old, if that. 

Chapter 3 

When my hypnotist decided to add feminine memories I asked him not to tell me them, so when they came it would be natural. This was my subconscious would feel they are real and would react. I am no scholar but have always been pretty smart and realize how strong the subconscious actually can be. People can, for instance make themselves sick by believing they are. In the same way hypnosis works, if someone wants something enough and believes it then it can be so.

I have researched how a mind can be fractured in order to program it. Whether real or fake, I have read about the Illuminati and a couple Hollywood stars. The article talked about how the female child was sexually abused to a point the pain fractured their minds and they were able to be turned into sexual slaves.

They had handlers which at times were their parents and used to serve higher ups. Now I am not going to say I know what I am doing but there was a time I figured maybe some pain could help me transition into a demonic succubus slut. But there is more then one pain as you can have physical and mental as well. You see more and more how someone who was abused as a child or even young adult goes off and even at times becomes something that makes them feel safe,or just wanted.

So I tried an experiment and as I decided to use some poppers for the head and try summoning demons through a mirror, I added some pain. I wasn’t sure how much I could take so I used nipple clamps I bought to start. I then slid a butt plug in which was not comfortable and sat in front of the mirror. I decided to add some demonic to it. I sat and lit a couple low heat candles and started to drip wax on my nipples.

I did not expect what I got as it shocked me a little, but I felt it. My mind was looking for a place where it could get rid of the pain. Was like it breaking into two. I then started to do a sort of calling or summoning for a demoness. I figured Baphomet is dual gender so what the Hell. It was one of the first times my mind took over. I was putting satanic symbols on my body and dripping wax on my belly.

At one point I looked down and dripped wax on the head of my dick to kind of “seal ” it. It was like saying my manhood was cut off for now. The second part of this was the abused childhood factor and since I had a good childhood as a boy actually had the hypnotist make the female one tough and nasty. I had found myself reading and watching videos of nasty satanic sex and some were stories of young girls.

I gave him a few ideas that could break someone and he had more. We figured that at some point a fake memory may pop up and take me to a place where Serinity will come alive. It is why I tell some people as some memories I have may not be real. So as I was starting to feel my alter grow and found my good side fight it I laid one night and asked for the spirits or demons to help me get rid of what would be known as shame or guilt of who I wanted to be, actually break me.

I stood in front of my mirror in the mobile home we rented, which in itself helps as most people think of those living in those or trailers as trailer trash, and I liked thinking I could be this trailer trash whore. Though am new to summoning I was told by someone who did a tarot reading and is a satanist tell me I in fact made it through to a few demons and now to be careful.

I stood there with sigils pulled up on my phone and lit a candle or two and asked forgiveness for not having a true alter or means and began to use the demonic enns to summon Lucifer as my daddy. I called Lilith as mommy and of coarse my new God Satan.

I had found a way to tap into my subconscious and at times literally had her doing the talking. So we called and a few more to help as she wanted to be free and go from me being this simple CD, or guy in a skirt, to becoming a TV or shemale and to be used to collect sperm and possibly souls for my new God. I told them to be in my mind and break me and use whatever it takes as my alter wanted control.

The lust was taking over and we needed to actually find a way to have it. I am married to a christian and am a fake, or fallen one myself. I have limited time when she leaves for work that it is dark enough and can close myself off from the outer world to try and talk to my demon guides. Lately have been growing my moobs or sissy breasts again and feeling more of the feminine feelings and urges.

I have even bought some new bras and panties and a couple times as I stood looking into the mirror I had on the bra and panties and stockings so we could reach out as our alter. I went into the room and used poppers and some things are crazy as am doing things that are risky as my mother in law lives with us. I used poppers before going to work to open my mind up and the female stuff to bring out Serinity.

I went in and called out to the God above and told him to leave the room as he will do as asked. I then hit poppers and pulled up a sigil and started to day,then chant and eventually vibrate an enn. I cannot remember which to be honest, but as I stared at the sigil I got dizzy, but not popper dizzy. I asked for the demon to join me and for them to being out the true Serinity.

I felt something and as I slowly lifted my head I saw what seemed to be slightly bigger breasts in the glow of the candle and then looked up to see what was this scary looking sight. The hair was all over the place and it looked like what a demon would look like in a movie and my eyes were black, no pupils with a scary feminine face. I stared and it was like it was trying to tell me to bring it through but the doubts started.

I knew we had to go harder so asked for help as I stared at my reflection of this demoness inside. I woke one the next morning and decided to lay and put on panties and bra and feel her as I asked for help.I could feel the lust as I rubbed myself and then it happened. One of those memories to break me. That is part four, enjoy as I let you inside me.

Chapter 4

So it is written in that bible time in the other realm is different. A year can be a minute and so on. I am laying in my bed not paying attention to the fact my mother in law could wake up and hear me if I started to chant, and I did. I had had memories before but never like this as I lay and pleasure myself. Then it was like a bright light and I fell into some sort of trance. I wake up in my bed at about maybe seven years old.

I have long hair and am a feminine looking boy. My mom and dad are shall I say different.I realize this is a memory and will probably come in weird ways. It is a Sunday and we are getting ready for church of some sort. It is called the church of the fallen. I dress in boys stuff with girls stuff under. I meet with mom and ask why and she reminds me daddy wanted a girl and figured if, as she out it, he said if one God didnt give it to him the other would.We go off and the church has this weird feel and some of the people say it is evil.

It has the normal crucifix hanging but the preacher says that it was when we won as Jesus died. It was when we did not have to follow stupid rules and be who we wanted, and so on. The patrons looked like drones and after the boys and girls were sent to a sort of Sunday school. I saw my daddy collecting money from the priest and he took me to the ” special room”. I was given what looked like some sort of goth or demonic version of a Catholic school outfit and told to put it on.

My dad said I will finally be what I was to and told me he would pick me up soon as he had things to get. He leaned down and gave me a weird hug as he grabbed my ass and when he kissed me it was a deep tongue kiss like I was his wife. I had this long straight hair that was now getting dyed black and then put into pigtails. Me and one other child were brought into a room where the church doc gave us a shot.Then he gave us a pill that made us listless and sat us in these two chairs.

He had us watch some sort of cartoon that had hidden “toon” sex in it. It was some sort of transformation thing.Then we were paddled on our behinds and even across out chest.We were leaned back as these chairs had stirrups and our legs were spread. The doc then put some sort of suction device on our chests that started to suck on them, pulling on them and he slid a finger up our asses.

When all was through I was out of it so daddy had to carry me to his car. I started to drift between worlds at this point and yet with all that, my clock said I was only out about five minutes and I was pulled back in. I found myself wake up again as mom and daddy were in my room. Daddy had the same suction device and slid it over my chest and gave me a pill.

The room seemed darker and my crucifix was now hanging upside down. Dad left and mom tried to make me feel at ease as she explained some things about the church and daddy. I asked why she was with him and she said he owned her. Then what all little kids do not need to hear, she said he has a big cock and I will understand as it is addictive.

She said she was a disgrace as I was supposed to be a girl and he came back in and heard. He had her kneel and I watched as he pulled out his cock and made her worship it, as if teaching me. She leaned over me as he pounder her from the back and then he filled her.

He pulled up his pants and said, “Now have her clean you up.”

She immediately got into a sixty-nine and was sucking my little dick as I licked her clean.

During the week daddy would use the suction on me and every Sunday I got a shot. Then it got to where I felt myself growing small breasts at seven. I was a little boy and what is happening. I again slipped back to the real world snd then back.

This time it was about 8 months later and I had some change in my breast area. I saw daddy talking to few people from that church and taking money and telling them soon. He noticed me and as he came towards the room I grabbed my cross and he came in and scolded me. I popped back out and remembered the pain for some reason and was taken back to the memory.

There was daddy as he pulled out his belt and had me roll on my belly and whipped my ass. He then took the cross and used it like a paddle. He had me roll and sit at the edge of the bed as his pants started to fall down. He used the cross to slap my breasts and noticed mom had lit a few candles she got from another church.

He grabbed one and pushed me down and started to pour wax on my breasts and then my little penis til it was encased in what was like a wax cage. He then had me kiss the cross and then lick when Jesus penis would be and said I was giving him head and he was horny. He went into his room and grabbed a few things and when he returned had me sit again.

He was slightly erect and rubbed his cock against my sore breasts and face and told me to open my mouth.He shoved it in my mouth and gagged me as the pain and humiliation had my mind start to break. He fucked my face and gave me a pill that had me docile, almost like a doll. He had me spit on the crucifix and then pushed me down. He spread my legs and slapped my waxed dick with the crucifix and then lifted my legs up.

He told me I was a bad girl, and at that point I did not know if I was boy or girl. He then told me I was wet as I felt him slide fingers into my hole. He told me my cunt was wet like a slut and the Jesus was horny. I felt him rub the bottom of the crucifix across my penis snd then between my legs and he asked if I wanted to fuck him as he shoved the bottom into my ass.

I felt the pain as he looked down on me. The edges were ripping me inside to a point I was now bleeding from my hole.I was going blank as he said I was getting me period, which meant I was growing up. He pulled out the cross and made me clean it off and tossed it as he lifted me in his arms. He asked if I loved daddy and was ready to grow up as blood ran out my hole.

He told me to give daddy a kiss and he kissed me passionately like a lover as I felt his hands spread my cheeks and lower me. My blood acted as lube as I felt his cock enter my hole and it hurt. He slid me down as I tried to hold on. Then he started to bounce as he went deeper and deeper. I felt my body and mind go limp as I was bouncing on his cock and then he laid me down.

He turned off the lights and the room glowed as he called out for someone to start the process. I felt a presence in the room and his look changed. Here I am I thought at almost eight and a little boy who is becoming a little girl as he got close and told me to let go as he lifted my legs. He said I belonged to a new God now as he gave daddy the girl he wanted and he shoved into me.

He then shoved deep and shot inside me. I heard almost a demonic growl as he did. He said it was time. I then fell out and when I woke I was a little over eight and had little tits like a teenager. I was in the basement of the church in that “special room” and dad was getting more money. I was in the goth schoolgirl outfit as men came in and were touching me like a piece of meat. A few even fingered my hole.

Then the head master of Sunday school told me I was going to serve. I was going from normal thoughts to these sexual thoughts of serving. Then a man and his wife came in and took me to a new home. It was a conservative home and I was taken to a back room that was not so. They told me to kneel and worship as they would be right back. I found myself worshiping a Baphomet statue but it was like it wasn’t me.

The couple came back in naked and dad laid on the bed and started to stroke himself as mommy got into a sixty-nine and made reference to shemales. She got me hard as I got her wet and the she rode me. I am now about eight-and-a-half. and I am having sex with a couple as a girl. She suckled my now bigger breasts as we both exploded. She then slid up and sat on my face and had me clean her and then sat down and pissed in my mouth.

Daddy told me not to worry as will learn new things. Then she sat on Daddy’s cock and rode it til it was wet from her juices and she slid off and I found myself getting into position and lowered onto it. As I rode him he told me to remember this moment as one day I will be grown and in the world doing his work. I came out and looked at my clock and realized it was a memory and as I knew it was man made my inner ego told me it was real. This was my abused childhood I needed to change it was time to finally move forward.