Writer: Crysdoll
Subject: There Is A Difference Between Knowing The Path And Walking It
Link: Tumblr / 22.03.2025
There Is A Difference Between Knowing The Path And Walking It
Born with psoriasis and institutionalized during the satanic panic, I decided to leave what I consider the cult of my parents (the Jehovah’s Witnesses) in the spring of 2005. It was April Fool’s Day, of all days. God died for the second time in my life. It was then I decided to be my own God. I didn’t know how, of course. Though, this is not something that has ever stopped me before.
I started with the religions of old, moving quickly through The Satanic Bible. Anything esoteric or forbidden. I learned something profound about myself then. My love for Jesus was genuine. I was a Bible nerd, but Jesus was not my savior. My teacher, my friend, yes, all those things. I had to become my savior.
I started watching Adult Swim, home alone nights my husband worked. I connected so much with the Anime Fullmetal Alchemist. I know what it feels like to want to magick my mother back to life. I got curious. I began to study Alchemy seriously. Not to attempt Necromancy, I assure you! I wanted to understand 1930s history. I’m getting there.
This serious turn to study was when I finally began to uncover what my work in mental health meant. It meant nothing. I had to give it meaning. I was inspired to create. Comedian Josh Johnson said on stage recently, “Art can save your life, but entertainment will never be your salvation.”
I want to start sharing my progress as I continue my self-discovery and become my God. I’m rediscovering my Italian/Hopi roots and my love for hip-hop and the Bible! Would you care to be my neighbor?