The Journey by Destiny1961

Disclaimer: The following is fiction. The story’s content is not representative of the writer’s beliefs, opinions, or attitudes. This story is intended for adult entertainment only. The characters and events depicted in this work are fictional. The author does not condone or promote any unlawful activity as depicted in the story. By continuing to read this work you acknowledge that you are an adult who wishes to read works of fantasy and fiction for the purpose only of fantasy. All the characters in this story are adults. They may play different ages for the fictional character they are depicting but they remain at all times adults.

Writer: Destiny1961

Subject: The Journey

Link: LS666 Email / 14.04.2024

The Journey

What started in the light has grown dark. We all possess more power than we know when it comes to the mind and spirit. I have been seeing a therapist since losing my wife and it starts there. There are two sides to every story or maybe every person for balance.

When it was time to choose I picked a female therapist as they have more a nurturing way and for some reason felt could identify more with her. I remember picturing sitting on a sofa as we talked and then being put under so we could look at my past, you know like in the movies.

It was simple though as she asked a few questions about what was going on and brought on the feelings. I need to get in touch with them and so on. I have always been critical of my looks and all and as we sat I was looking at this beautiful woman and felt something say we could be pretty.

Before I left I even mentioned slightly about wanting to not be me but being feminine and wanting boobs, but not losing my parts. I got home and felt strange and could not believe I shared that. But as she said I needed to look back I had an idea. I could drop into a trance at times and see things if I did a little poppers as it opened my mind and spirit.

So I had a strong drink to relax and then turned on this soothing file that helps relax and kind of puts you in a state of meditation. Of course, when using the poppers in this manner I had to be careful as my inner shadow side would come out and try to be in charge. But just how did I get here and where did she come from? So as I call out she does as well saying if we do this we need to look at all sides. So I ask to be taken back to see. There were a lot of things that were about to become clear and things I did not remember to come into the light.

It started earlier than I thought as the memories started. I was very young and at a catholic church. I remember going into the confessional and telling my sins and a priest would tell me to just say a few prayers and be forgiven, as if those sins never happened. It felt sacrilegious. Is he some kind of witch doctor or something?

Such thoughts for someone who was still in single digits. I remember being looked at funny in catholic school by the nuns as if I had something wrong with me. But there was something inside. We went to begin our learning of communion and confirmation. I thought to myself this is some sort of magic. If I eat bread and drink wine I am partaking of Jesus?

I remember that when you did your confirmation you picked a new name as if becoming someone else. Why I do not know but had this thought what if a boy chose a female name? I could never tell anyone what was going on as would be thought of as evil or the devil. I sat one day watching the old ladies light candles at the alter and again wondered.

I was very young so how is it these thoughts came? I thought about it and one day we all went to the church with class and I asked the nun if I could light a candle and pray. I was about to open up like I would not understand. I lit the candle and said a prayer to understand what is not seen as I did not understand what would feel like rituals.

I felt a presence with me calling me its child and saying I was going to be blessed and at the same time felt this chill. I was called to open my mind but maybe a little too far as could almost hear other voices calling to me and saying they were the truth and I would become something new. I had long hair and looked a little feminine but whatever.

I was in a weird place and my parents took me to the store after church. I wandered off and you could tell I was lost and scared when what seemed to be a young woman walked up to me. She bent down and looked a little off as even though she looked nice she looked a little like a man.

“Are you okay, little girl” Little girl?” she said as he bent forward.

I told her I was a boy and she smirked and said she understood and said she would help and took my hand. Then it happened and scared the shit out of me as I had this flash-like experience and saw this person. It was just a body and no face but it was a teenager who was looking in a mirror.

She was rubbing her tiny breasts as if being happy they were starting to grow. But she then ran her hands down her body til she got to her penis, yes penis. What was this and why at my age I seeing this I thought and then looked at the young woman again guiding me to find my parents. I could not tell anyone because they would think I was evil but the following couple of days when asleep would see this figure again but heard voices saying she was special.

As I grew up my brother and I became close with our cousin, who was female. It was strange as we played like others as “cops and robbers”, ”cowboys and Indians”, and even “superheroes”. But I always was the sidekick or the lower person and would even want to find myself captured and tortured waiting to be saved. I would be taken by the villain and even submit to them.

I remembered that one time, my cousin was an evil magician or something and turned me into a girl. That particular night the dream came again with the faceless girl or guy or mix but she was older. She has small but pert breasts and again a penis but no face. About around this time, we started to learn about sex, and even touched my cousin.

Strange as we were twelve, fourteen, and my brother, sixteen. We would turn out the lights and wrestle which ended in us grabbing her breasts at times. But at one point I swore I saw something in the dark and again voices. Then I remember going through my confirmation and when wearing that red robe looked like a girl in a red dress.

And I remember feeling something while grabbing my cousin’s breasts. I did not understand it as it was like something calling me and I got an erection. We would get dirty mags from friends and what was called Swedish erotica that showed sex. I would feel something weird from my cousin when we looked.

It was a Sunday and we went to church that morning that night my Aunt would watch me and our house as my parents took my brother across town for school. Me and cuz were in my basement giggling and looking at the porn when she asked if I wanted to go down to her house to play.

I felt something dark but we did. It was less than half an hour when she looked at me.

“Wanna do it?”

I am here at fourteen and her only twelve but it was like she had this power. I told her I did not know what to do but she said she did as she did it with another cousin. I felt funny as this was wrong in so many ways but I was hard and feeling hot and when she took off her top to show her small pert breasts I froze. But instead of asking it was like she commanded and she told me to take off my clothes and lay down.

She had this evil grin as she mounted me and it hurt as I went inside her from her being tight. She started to ride me as she put my hands on her breasts. She was twelve but knew how to milk as she squeezed and the pressure built up. Not knowing I thought the pressure was having to piss but she knew and as I tried to hold it she rode harder.

I could not hold it so figured out what happened and she got this look as I exploded inside her almost like she was getting power from me. But then it was like I became her little toy as for the next couple months she would have us playing house and me even playing with dolls like a little girl. And when she needed she would tell me to “drop ‘em” and like her slave, she would then mount me and ride me.

While it felt good I kept wondering as it was like it felt better to her as she would moan when I grabbed her breasts and when I came inside her she would shiver. That was the first time I wondered how it felt from the girl’s side. And she brought out this submissive side as well. One night through all this had that vision again of the girl with a penis and again no face but shadows were laughing at me. They were saying it’s not evil if it’s truth.

I then went up a few years in my memory. I could remember being with her and the way she looked. I was now in high school. I was the small smart one who with my skinny body and long hair looked like a girl. I even was mistaken as one from behind many times. I did not have many friends as kept to myself and the ones I did were the outcasts like me. I was small at about five foot tall and if lucky one hundred pounds.

I met a friend at the local boys’ club who was different. He was chubby and a little taller and was into what was called the “Indian Club”.They would learn about the Naive Americans and do performances and he even said he learned about the great spirits and even said he thought he could feel them at times. Boy did that make him a target for all to make fun of.

We started to hang together and even cop out of school and wanted to be part of the crowd. He had a friend who copped with us one day and we got beer and while hidden in local woods the friend pulled out some weed. He tried it but even though I wanted to did not want to be somewhere it felt weird. One day we copped out and my friend John had an accident and got wet in the cold winter since we were close to his place we went so he could put on dry clothes.

He mentioned something I did not remember about the great spirits and such as he changed. I remember seeing him naked and his dick and got this chill and felt like those voices giggling. We grabbed some liquor his mom had and as we drank were talking about girls. He said something about me being mistaken and asked if it bothered me.

Before I knew it as we sat there on his bed he leaned over and laid me back and got on top of me and was dry fucking me. It was strange as I swore I heard the voices and saw that vision of the girl with the penis and started feeling feminine as he grinned. Then we both came in our jeans. Of course, he was able to change and I had to try and clean up the mess in mine.

I felt something weird but good. He had talked about the spirits again a few days later and we skipped school again. We sat and drank again and talked about girls and he asked if what he did bothered me and I said if he wants to again we need to be naked so I don’t mess up my jeans. He got up and started to undress and something took over as I felt submissive as if I needed to please him.

I remember seeing his naked body and hard-on and felt weird like a horny girl and laid back as if to present myself. He got on top and the feel of his body got to me as he started to rub and grind. I remember we came and he grinned with the mess between our bodies and then when he went to get a towel I had this urge. I ran a finger in the mess and tasted it and it wasn’t bad.

The strange part was I felt this chill and quivered and then felt this feminine side. When I went home I could not stop thinking about my cousin and how she felt and wondering. I saw that figure again but a face started to appear and it looked a little like me. I had started to feel this lust but it was feminine. I made sure we copped out and ended up at his house again and talked about sex.

I used a joking manner to say true fun is penetration and hoping for something and it came true. He said he does not bottom and I offered myself like a prostitute. He said he wasn’t too sure as if to let me back out and We sat there naked. I felt it inside as if something was there and I lay on my belly like a good whore and again to allow me to back out he said he did not have lube.

Then the strangest as it felt like someone speaking for me who had needs and I asked what he did have. He told me the only thing that may work was soap and like a good whore I said okay. It was like I was meant to be his sex toy. I remember him getting on top of me with my dick soaped and as he lay down asked again before sliding into me.

At first, I moaned from the surprise of him entering me and then found myself moaning like a slut and was no longer in control my moaning got him more excited as he told me later some sort of spirits took over and he forgot who he was on top of. He started to pound me like a bitch and I loved it. Then I pictured my cousin and like a female wanted him to cum in me.

I felt him pick up the pace and start to pant and my spirit got hot and then he shoved and paused a couple of times before slamming as deep as possible I felt him quiver and then go a little limp and keep grinding inside my messy hole. I moaned and he hopped up and said he was sorry but I could not tell him I loved it.

He went to get a towel and I slid a finger in my messy hole and tasted it and it was like something was telling me it was pleasing. I was a drunken whore and liked it. The taste of cum too. It was about a year later I was drunk and getting air when friends talked me into getting in a car with older guys. They said to get in and the guys would want to play with me but what they do is as soon as the guys give them money they hop out and run.

I felt bad but what to do I got into a car as they watched but told the guy to drive a little out of the way. He started to rub my leg when I told him I wasn’t there for that but to warn him. I told him to be careful and he asked if he could thank me. I was hard and so let him suck me. Even though it was a guy it felt good. I did it a few times when started to wonder.

Then one night was coming back from the bar and an old man pulled up. He was late seventies and asked if I needed a ride and I told him I needed to clear my head before going home. We drove and he rubbed my legs and I figured why not. He pulled down a road and he pulled my dick out and his. He started to stroke me as he leaned over to suck me.

As he got had he was a little big and I stared. I came and he opened his door and spit it out. He then asked if I minded him finishing while stroking and said usually he has one of his female friends suck him as it takes a while if he strokes. He looked at me as I stared and he said I was cute with my hair in a tail and asked if I was okay.

He asked if I ever sucked a guy and if I wanted to try and then said usually he only lets girls but needed. I leaned over and took his head in my mouth to start and then licked his shaft. Then slid it in my mouth and went down a few times and something took over as I ended up with it in my throat and gagged.

He told me to relax and not go too far as he said I was a natural and better than his female friends. I picked up the pace and he started to moan and grabbed me by the tail and guided my head. He said he was getting ready as if to warn me if I wanted to stop but I wanted it and he shot. I leaned back up and he said to open the door to spit then realized I swallowed. He said it was like I changed and was a girl jokingly.

About a year down the line I had new friends who accepted I was strange though they never knew this side except for one guy. I started to see that figure again more clearly and was curious about how women’s clothes felt. My friends had a Halloween costume party and it was only natural for me to dress as a sort of goth girl.

I asked a girl I knew to help me with makeup so could fool everyone. My friend was dressed as the devil. So we started to party and it was the usual scare tactics and the whole seance thing and Ouija board. We drank and they had what they called the octopus which was a bong with eight tentacles so many could smoke at once.

I remember the girl who did my makeup telling me she liked other girls as if setting me up for later and she asked me to smoke with them. I refused then she whispered she thought girls were hornier and more fun high. My friends laughed as they said I was gonna get some and so I took a few hits. Then we did the whole ouija and seance thing.

My friend led it and as we lit candles he did his routine but it was weird. He said there was a spirit there and while the others did not feel it or see it he and I did. I knew he was into the occult and such but did not expect this.

He said it was female and was behind me and I saw and felt something. I thought maybe cause I was high but then felt a chill and quivered and he said it was gone. Later our friends said we put on a good show but did not realize. When it was time to leave he said he would take me home as he had to talk to me. We went into his room and he asked if he could try something as midnight approached.

Why not I thought as he was going to try and scare me. He lit a few candles and grabbed the bong. He said he had some stronger stuff and I now liked getting high. He even had harder stuff but said I wasn’t ready. We sat and hit it and he told me I made a sexy bitch. He asked about When I sucked and let my other friend fuck me how it felt.

He asked if I ever did it as a girl or wanted to. I started to freak out when he said there was someone with me. He said he could call them if I wanted to feel like a girl and I was high and intrigued as to how he would pull this off. He had me kneel and he stood in front of me and laid hands on my shoulders and started to chant.

I started to feel weird but was high and realized the girl I wanted left with someone else. Then he called for something and said we all have needs. I noticed his bulge inside his devil suit. He rubbed my hand and asked if I was scared of the darkness. He then asked if I wanted to join him in enjoying pure lust. I looked up at him and nodded as he pulls his dick out.

He said I told him I enjoyed it but never as a girl and to enjoy it now as one. Before I knew it I was sucking him and he grabbed my head and face fucked me. There was an eerie feeling in the room. He said not to worry as they would not hurt me and I was confused. He then told me what we saw was inside me and if I allowed it I would enjoy something like never before.

He said she had needs and he needed to fuck me like a bitch and he pulled out and laid back on the bed. I stood up and wobbled from being high and watched him lube his dick and hold it up and tell us to join him. I did not understand the use of us til I was climbing on the bed and got into position and lowered myself onto his dick. He grabbed my waist and told me to feel it and her. In the end, I had ridden him and he fucked me in many positions as we got high and fucked in the candlelight in a dark way. He told me I accepted it but would have to let her out in the future.

When I got older I started to feel her call and when I put on feminine stuff had these urges. I found myself on a personal site as my alter ego and found myself in a virtual world as well. I started to think about drugs and having sex as some sort of whore. I had taken care of a few male friends and their friends orally as I felt like a cheap call girl made to help.

In the virtual world I went from being a male character to a trans and from simple rooms to ones with BDSM and animals and felt could do things would never do for real. I went from laying down for men to becoming a chattel to getting boinked by animals to monsters. Then found myself in satanic dark rooms and while lying down for only a few found that this room was a little more real as the people behind the avatars were Satanists, practicing witches, and such.

As they guided me through some rituals in the game I was doing them. I found sissy hypnosis and feeling more like my feminine alter ego. I could even feel the feminine lust drive me to want cock and cum. Like a woman the bigger the better. I started to become that dark alter to the point I was living out the fantasy while on the personal site.

I was looking at more transsexual porn and becoming obsessed with big cock and BBC porn and got chill as I saw holes being stretched. But I even had this urge to drink and get high as I had a friend who went from this innocent young girl to a prostitute cause she loved sex. She told me it is even better high and even anal sex.

She said I would never understand til I sucked and dick high and let a guy fuck me. I found myself in the darker rooms more in the virtual world and became friends with one of the people who was in real life a trans-female who was some sort of dark priestess. She guided me through some rituals and told me once I was able to give myself in a certain way I would be free.

At the time I was married living both lives and getting on the computer when the wife was out. She was away a lot and I was communicating with a black man who had a big cock on the site. I would dress a little with maybe panties and a bra while talking and I was his transsexual girlfriend.

He would tease me with pics of his big cock and then I would look at interracial trans porn.I talked to the priestess and she said she felt a presence that I had mentioned from earlier days and said that if I were to give myself in a way with mind open as that alter and not just feel simple soft sex but feel something stretch and open me that she could become real.

She said the Master was in charge of this world and would welcome me in. It was a Friday night we talked and I even asked about the use of drugs. She said Master would be with me if I opened my mind using something. That night the figure was in my dreams again but it was me for sure.

With my wife out of town the next day I sat confused. I had taken a couple of pain pills for kidney stones and had a drink. I felt loose and thought about what I was told so what better time to feel it? I put on lingerie and a corset and a dark shirt and skirt. Some fishnets and even put on makeup. I put my dyed black hair in pigtails and looked in the mirror as I took a drink.

I found myself calling out as I thought I looked at least good enough to fuck. I sat and started to watch BBC porn and got hot as I saw those girls being gaped and found myself on the personal site. I had messages that were pics of my friend’s cock. He came on and we joked about how I was going to be his part-time sissy girlfriend and joked about me trying to suck that cock and him fucking me.

I asked him if he was serious about it and I was about being feminine at least part-time. He said yes and I was drunk and high from the pills and even took another and told him we needed to make it official. He agreed but I needed more help so I decided to try something. I went into my room and did a sort of small ritual to call on my spirit or demon.

I was going to be the female so did not need my dick to function and read how you use masturbation as an offering at times so stroked and told whoever it was for them as I came. I felt a struggle between good and bad and male and female. Then a knock and I was in my female stuff not even thinking about if it was someone I knew knocking before going to the door. He came in and we had a drink and I apologized as I was out of it but he was cool.

I told him I wanted to see it so we went into the bedroom. There was already lube on the bed from earlier and was got into bed and pulled it out. The lust started as I stroked it and it started to get hard. I leaned over and took it in my mouth. I felt my jaws start to hurt as it grew and felt him play with my ass. I reached back to slide the lube and he started to finger me. I could feel her start to come alive inside when he said I was maybe too tight for him.

Something felt weird as it was like she took it as a challenge. I lubed him and tried to sit on his cock to no avail. I lubed and tried over and over and even called silently to my inner demon as he did not know about this side. He was now lubed so much it was leaving a puddle on the sheet when he said maybe we shouldn’t.

I felt this strange feeling and was no longer me as we sat and his head popped into a little at us. As we took a little at a time I swore a voice said I got it from here and we slid down. Before I knew it I was on his lap with all eight inches inside me. I gave myself and she now was in control as we rode him and before I knew it we had been fucked for hours in many positions and he had gaped and filled me.

I found myself lying there as he got up remembering bits as he said it was like I changed. He said when I slid down on him my facial expression changed. I looked up at him as my ass lay in a pool of semen and my hole gaped not knowing who I was. He let himself out and I reached back to slide a finger then two and three into my gaped hole that felt like a destroyed cunt and tasted his cum. I told the priestess and she said I crossed.

It is now years later and I am not as I was, older and fat but have slightly bigger moobs and still take pills to grow them and have looked into rituals. I found videos that are popper-based so use them and when I do it opens a doorway as was warned not to use drugs while summoning. I found a better site called “Fetlife” where it is more open.

I have gone between good and evil back and forth and have read and thought about harder drugs. I have even found a dark video called, “No Longer a Human Being,” and it hits me. I now picture that vision with that person using her body as a toy for others being filled with cocks and cum. I have moved and now my bathroom has become my ritual room as it has mirrors for doorways.

I met a Tarot card reader on Fetlife and asked for a reading. While he is gay and not into trans stuff he is in the darkness so agreed. He even wrote a blog about the readings he did. He told me to be careful and be precise as to what I want as I have indeed made contact and opened up a door.

I do not know what the future holds as when my wife was alive there was that buffer as she was a Christian. But I have found myself calling to the light and then buying things like wigs and stuff to become her inside. I go into my bathroom and stare as I think about what I am doing then find myself reaching for the bottle of poppers and see her looking back at me.

I see shadows but when I turn are not there. I feel hands on me at times groping and making me grab a toy. I think about the difference between what my friend would call anal sex and sodomy. One night I sit and call to Lord Jesus to take this from me and then next I picture myself blowing clouds, even though never tried and I lay there looking up and my dark lover.

He blows a big cloud and I see his face change into that dark goat as he lifts my legs and plunges into me. I feel her taking over as our lover calls out to the dark and takes me. I know while I do not know who could help me do this and that I have had times I backed out I now realize it is because I am scared to fully let her be me or me her. But I do know it’s been a long journey back and forth and I am a very sexual person and there is nothing more powerful than the feel of pure lust. May I find him using someone to bend me over and take me in that sacred act of sodomy and release her?

THE END