The Day of my Life by Nikki – Non-Fiction

Here are some more details about myself and about my wish, what it is that am I seeking. It will be a bit longer writing, so it is probably not for everyone. I get some messages simply saying, “I wish I could fuck you”, or “I want to be your master”; well, that is absolutely not what I am seeking. If you want to get a bit into my mind and world, keep reading. If you are seeking instant satisfaction, move on. I will probably think of other things later, so I might revise this text multiple times. First a bit that I also shared in my profile text About me.

Unlike many out here, I am actually very prudish girl. A devout Catholic and quite religious. But that has also everything to do with my fetish. I am very much devoted to the Virgin Mary and even often identify myself with her. I guess that is why I stayed single and even considered to become a nun for a while (still do occasionally). In general I have very little romantic feelings towards men. I began however to notice that most things religious actually turn me on sexually. When reading scriptures I love to softly touch myself. And when I pray, I like to do so naked. I imagine that I want to appear pure and uncovered before the Lord. At the same time it makes me so wet. Although I have very little sex with others, I do masturbate a lot. And usually I have the best orgasms while I recite Bible verses out loud. It makes me feel holy and sinful at the same time. Actually that combination is what drives me to the edge. I suppose that with this I touch on a very intrinsic attribute of me: duality.

Being holy and prudish on one side and lustful and sinful on the other side. I think this duality will find its climax when I will undergo ‘the ritual’ that I am seeking, and that I describe in more detail below. It will change my life from abstaining from relationships and lots of sex with others, into becoming a totally depraved sex slut. Is it totally different? Yes and no. I feel like a slut now as well, not a sex slut, but a sin slut. Will the one replace the other? No, becoming a sex slut will materialize me being a sin slut.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body — 1 Corinthians 6:18

How am I a sin slut? Some examples:

Once in a while I go to church to make confession to the priest, and while in the confession booth speaking about my sins of sexual desire, I do touch myself. Just the notion that this holy man is a few feet away listening to my sinful thoughts and my confession of my acts of masturbation, makes me so horny.

And during Sunday services I usually wear a rather long dress, but never panties underneath and often wear a butt plug. It makes me feel so sinful and hot to listen to the priest, to smell the incense and to say the prayers while stimulated by the feeling of nakedness under my dress and the butt plug pressing inside my anus.

As said, I don’t have much friends, in fact, I have one fuck buddy who comes by once every two weeks or so. He has to put on a priest robe that I keep in my wardrobe, and that I once ordered online. Only in that way he may fuck me. And usually I recite verses or prayers while he does so.

And, yes I fancy women too. I’ve always fantasized about being in a convent with sisters only, having lustful and sinful sex while we serve … During my life I’ve had several sexual encounters with women, and a brief and intense relationship with one, and I found them more passionate and loving then what I can imagine – and have experienced so far – from men. It may seem unbelievable to many who read this, but I was never naked in front of more than one person at a time in my entire adult life. And actually only to a handful all combined.

Oh, briefly about my profession. You don’t meet that all the time: dental prosthetist. Both my father and my uncle (my father’s brother) are in dentistry. My father has his business in the US and my uncle in Europe where we have our roots (Greek-Italian, that’s why I get my dark hair and eyes). So I am happy to follow in my father’s footsteps and have spent quite some time in Europe as well, working with and learning from my uncle and his employees. Therefore I also have no problem with traveling even to Europe to fulfill my dream.

What am I doing on a BDSM site (iTaboo)? Well, as you read below, where else would I talk about these things. (I have so far not found a site specifically for religious/satanic fetishes.) And when it comes to sin, chastisement is an unbreakable part. I sometimes beat my own butt with a brush, just to chastise myself … My pain threshold is by the way quite low, I am a bit of a wimpy in that regards.

Well then, about the ritual

It is a thing that I seem to be living towards for quite a few years now. I view it like a wedding day. Something a young woman dreams about for a long time. That is considered the most beautiful day. A day that you only have once. In my duality mind it has to be the most depraved, most sinful, most dirty … It goes against everything I am in daily life, but it has a fatal attraction, it is an avenue I just have to take. In searching for unholy rituals, black masses, black nun rituals, ritualistic desecrations and unholy baptisms, etc. I have learned a lot. I communicated for a while with the high priest of a sex cult in the US, as well as with a priestess of an all-female coven in Europe. Covid has disturbed most of that, and other factors just made it not happen. But because of that I have now compiled a fairly detailed liturgy of the whole ritual. Reading this you will also understand that I am not seeking solo amateur self-proclaimed masters, but a coven or cult that has experience in these kind of rituals. I take it very serious.

Preparation

The preparation for the ritual will consist of several face-to-face conversations with the High Priest/Priestess or cult leader. It is for sure that I will be pushed beyond my limits and thus I will certainly cry for cessation at certain moments during the ritual. Therefore there will be made a written agreement ahead of time in which I declare and give my consent that once commenced, the ritual will be completed in its entirety. I will pledge blind obedience to the commands of the priests in charge, and submission may be forced from me despite a moderate struggle or tearful defiance. I will not masturbate or have sex for nine days ahead of the ritual. The timing will most likely be to make it coincide with a pagan or satanic high holiday. But also it will be ensured to be at a time that I do not have my period and am ovulating. We will also agree that it will all be filmed/photographed. I will receive a copy the footage although it will be owned by the coven / High Priest and therefore beyond my full control in the future.

On the day of the ritual I will be freshly shaven in every spot below the neck. I will arrive several hours before the ritual, or depending on the situation and location perhaps the night before. Upon entering the building I will then hand over my personal Rosary that I have used for so many years and my one hundred and fifty year old Bible that has belonged to my grandmother. Possibly some other religious items that I hold dear. These items are to be (forcefully) used in the ceremony. They will be defiled and desecrated. These items are very precious to me as I have had them for decades and faithfully carry them with me every time I go to mass.

I will then undress and be wearing a robe only. My clothes and other personal belongings are kept until after the ritual and until I will leave, which may or may not be the next day or a few days later. (I will not be permitted any access to them, including my phone, until then.)

1. Confessional

I will enter the room where the ritual will take place and the ‘parishioners’ and priests are all present and awaiting my entrance. Ideally there will be between fifteen and thirty people, men and women mixed. I will be wearing the white robe to show that I am still undefiled. I will make the sign of the cross and kneel before the people present. I will state my name and age, and state that I am there of my own free will. Then I will confess my current faith by citing part of The Apostles’ Creed (I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth, etc). The priest in charge will now step forward and ask me if I truly believe, and will be willing to renounce all of that which I just declared. It will be hard for me, but I have to say “yes”. I will be told to stand up and my robe will be taken from me. I will now stand totally naked before the whole congregation (who are al still wearing their robes). So I Myself have also stripped your skirts off over your face, That your shame may be seen.

As for your adulteries and your lustful neighings, The lewdness of your prostitution ~ Jeremiah 13:26-27

2. Renunciation

I will be strapped to a cross (either T or X shaped). In case of a T-shaped cross my legs will be spread with a spreader bar. It will be quite a humiliating experience for me because as I said before, I was never naked in front of more than one person at a time in my entire adult life. The priest will now ask me questions of renunciation. Questions include: “Do you reject God the creator of heaven and earth?” … “Do you reject Jesus Christ?” … “Do you reject Virgin Mary?” … I will have to answer these questions not simply with “Yes” … but by repeating the question (“Yes, I reject the Blessed Virgin Mary” etc) … That will be very hard to do for me. I know I won’t be able and for sure some spanking with a paddle will be necessary. This may be on my belly, tits and against my pussy. Maybe as well some additional nipple and labia torture. With my low pain threshold it will certainly make me cry and say the right answers. I have to also speak them out loud for all to hear clearly. If not the I must repeat the answer until it is satisfactory. The renunciation will conclude by me reading ‘the Lord’s prayer’ out loud backwards .

3. Unholy baptism

Once I have renounced my faith and the Catholic church, I am ready to be baptized into my new life. For this purpose I will be placed in a bathtub, or inflatable bath or something of the kind. A big bowl is handed around the parishioners to collect their contribution, and whoever wants pisses in the bowl. It is than brought to the High Priest who will say the words for unholy baptism ceremony (words depending on the cult/coven). Then the bowl is emptied over my head in three times. I stay in the tub/bath and all parishioners pass by and welcome me in their midst. While in this humiliating position they either piss, spit or cum on me, whichever way they desire to celebrate my conversion.

4. Communion

Once we the baptism is concluded my spirit is cleansed and receptive for the unholy communion. I will get out of the tub and all covered in piss and spit kneel before the High Priest. Ceremonial words are spoken while a chalice is lifted. It contains 100 to 200 ml of sperm. That has been previously collected by some of the priests and parishioners and kept frozen until shortly before the whole ritual. In this way there is a sufficient amount and it will also leave the attendants able to produce fresh cum in the remainder of the ritual. The chalice will be handed to me and I must drink the entire contents of it, thereby accepting my unity with this gathering of sinful and abominable congregants.

5. Defilement

The ritual is now open for depraved celebration. There will be big beds or mattresses, and I will lay on one of them. All parishioners will now undress and engage in sexual acts with each other. Whoever wants can now use and abuse me as I will be degraded to an abominable whore. Men and women will take advantage of me as they desire. All the while cursing and blaspheming. There will be a lot of sodomy. Religious objects like crucifixes and Virgin statuettes will be used abundantly. All sex is sans prophylactic. It has been suggested to me to get pregnant during this orgy of fornication. That would open the door to a follow-up ritual with a ritualistic abortion (which I believe all abortions are). Well, I am still trying to get used to that idea … I will have more sex than I ever had in my entire life. With people that I don’t know. I will be reduced to a slut for maximum whorishness. Demonic lust will take hold of me. I will be totally engulfed in lust and orgasms. When I will be completely ‘in the spirit’ we will commence to the next stage.

6. Blasphemy

I now must prove my true allegiance. Two women will stand next to me and hold me in between them while they rub my pussy and touch my tits to keep me aroused. My Rosary will be brought out and people will use it for sexual acts, wrapping it around their cocks and stuffing it in their pussies. I am forced to watch and encourage them. By that time I might do so by my own volition, if not the paddle will be used again. I will be made to spit on the Rosary while speaking blasphemous words. Then my 150yr old Bible will be brought out. I will be asked what to do with it. I must say with my mouth that I want it defiled and destroyed. And I will spit on it. The congregants will begin to tear out pages in front of my eyes and wipe their filthy cocks and cunts and asses with it. My clit will be rubbed hard to drive me to an orgasm over this desecration. It will make me encourage them to stuff pages in my pussy … Writing this makes my heart beat fast in my chest, it causes tears to well in my eyes. Even more so as the Bible is in front of me on the desk here, and it reminds me of the many times I have seen it in my mother’s and grandmother’s hands. But by that time, described in the sentences just above, I may just laugh and cum … Whatever is left of the Bible, I will piss on. I will speak blasphemous words that I don’t even dare to think in my mind right now. I will have endless orgasms over it that are more intense than ever.

7. Coda

At the end of the event I will be given a black robe. It signifies that I have fully embraced my dark side. What will happen from there I cannot yet conceive. I might be that in the following days I will begin to feel so guilty and sinful that I might decide to become a nun after all in order to shield myself from this kind of depravity in the future. I might also be that I will become a sin slave being the regular subject on the altar of whoredom of a coven. It might be that I get pregnant resulting from this ritual and that the follow-up ritual will be my initiation in the coven, sealed with the sacrifice through a ritualistic abortion; followed by the drinking of blood and a hot iron branding (I’ve been thinking about this as well). In other words: white nun or black nun…the line is thin…just as it is between sinner and saint … Well I’ve given you a detailed insight in my world of thoughts and fantasies to be realized in the not to distant future. This scenario is evolving and may be updated regularly.