Writer: Infernalwytch
Subject: Suicide
Link: Tumblr / 10.01.2024
About the Author: Dove. xxii. ♉︎☉♈︎☽♓︎↑. ♉︎+3H stellium. astrologer. eclectic witch. luciferian demonolator. diviner
Suicide
I stepped out of my comfort zone today and I felt Lucifer’s pride radiating and swelling from within my chest. I know most would find it stupid, but I went to take a piss in a public restroom despite how self-conscious and weird I felt about it. I drew the “Six of Wands” as confirmation that Lucifer was testing me not only today with my late taxi and expressing my emotional duress at the time, but also Sunday when I was feeling suicidal and my friend self-harmed and attempted to overdose while I was sleeping in the next room over.
I didn’t exactly deal with the situation on Sunday the greatest — but I did survive it and the lunar eclipse in Taurus energy (especially as a Taurus sun) and that’s still progress I would like to think. I’m currently feeling pretty positive and proud of myself in addition to feeling appreciative of Lucifer’s newfound presence in my otherwise bland life.
Today, I also discussed at length what to do with the aforementioned friend with my friend group and I also talked to my psychiatrist about it. we’ve concluded that severing ties is best due to our friend’s unwillingness to change for the better. Things will be different without her, and I hope nothing changes too drastically with just the three of us now. I mostly socialized today rather than attend therapy groups but I think it was needed rather than going to the groups and just creatively writing and crocheting, the only other groups besides the one I went to that I had scheduled for today.
Regarding Lucifer again, I truly think he can help me with fulfilling my north node in cancer’s destiny: to be in touch with my maternal side and emotions, as well as nurturing my inner child and from past wounds. I will have to look at what house it falls under once again to be more certain of what it is my soul needs to experience in this lifetime.
Here’s to many more experiences with him and time spent with him underneath his guiding hand and blazing glory. Ave Lucifer! ⛧
I want to serve Satan in the worst way as I seek his possession and uninhibited sexual worshipping as he is my master and it’s for my dark lords glory. Lift me up to our master for me to meet others for his glory.