Searching for My Soul by Destiny1961 – Non-Fiction

Writer: Destiny1961

Subject: Searching for My Soul

Link: Email LS666 / 13.03,2022

Searching for My Soul

Will start by saying that I have allowed my alter ego, or thought was speaking through my alter last few time I did not rituals. Not sure how this next part will sound but realized by looking back at what I told you and some flashbacks have done things did not expect.

I then feel maybe my shadow, or alter has actually taken control during the rituals. I know have made light offerings that consist of mind and body and soul but not even sure to what extent anymore. There are times where feel this slight pain in my chest where the soul would be located and my heart is fine, so not my heart.

There are times feel like.my breasts are bigger and at times feel horny while other times actually feel like my body is limp, almost like am some sort of doll and not in control. I have been laying in bed a lot lately with no kind of energy other then the dark energy.

There are times I have laid in the lingerie and others where am naked. This morning had this thought about the old saying about women where men would say they should be barefoot and pregnant. A thought came across where it was like something said I should be in bed and naked, and why of coarse, because it is where sexual interaction takes place.

Then the thought was I should either be in lingerie or naked and ready to have my holes penetrated a d body played with, whether being seeded or even some BDSM play.It is weird how realized I have gotten used to wax and how I drank my own piss and at times even used my back-scratcher to smack my ass and even tits. I have even had thoughts of using a crucifix up my ass and its been a while but have pictured the scene from exorcist.

I remember the scene from the movie that used to scare me and freak me out. As I was getting deep into the satanic sissy hypnosis — finding blasphemy porn with nuns using the crucifix and crucifix dildo — I used my toy when I actually sat at the computer with a butt plug in. 

All of a sudden something told me to tell Jesus to fuck me. I found myself looking up the scene. I could not stop watching it, but then found myself staring into Regan’s eyes and it was like Regan telling me what to do. I even pictured Regan with me as I was bent over and she was using the crucifix to take my ass and tell me to join her. I had actually become addicted to that scene and to be honest am going to look it up after writing. 

Now back to the mirror.I am sending a couple.pics so you can imagine it, but I called on Satan and asked him to bring out the real Serinity and show me her. I had stuck my finger in the wax warmer to see how it felt as I used poppers. Then I felt her and leaned over and dipped my nipple in the wax til I felt the heat as she said she wanted me to feel the heat from below.

I held my nipple there til it almost burned and then the other. I said I could feel her and needed to see her and another hit and over lifted my head. The image in the mirror was a mix as my hair was all up like I put my finger in an electric socket but the face,wow. I did not think about it til now but my eyes were black a d the face looked like Linda Blair without all the cuts.

My teeth are rough to begin with but it was like the image as I backed up was 3D and like I could touch it. I got close to look dead in the eyes that looked like I had some sort of blackout lenses in and they were an oily black. I looked over my body and my breasts looked more like a teenage girls as they were plumper and swore the nipples were a little rounder. The only thing I could picture was I was looking at a possessed teenage transvestite slut, but it was me. have to drop for now as feeling something inside.