Making The Comparison by Lucy Az

Making The Comparison

COMPARISON

Hi, my name is Jeebus — And I like encourage folks to forsake their families to follow my insecure ass.  I like to wash feet and shit,  And I like to threaten fuckers with eternal damnation if they don’t bend the knee.

My name is Lilith — I am secure in myself and promote family love, not separation. I have a fetish for unbridled sex and crush judgment and barriers, and encourage rather threaten. As don’t flaunt the power I have like a goddamn child. I am matured and secure. Truth be told,  People would rather follow pheromones, Not fairy tales.

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LAUGHING STOCK

Jesus says, “Dude, I done resurrection and shit.”

Lucifer replies, “An unsubstantiated claim and a copy of previous Pagan gods. Lame.”

Jesus says, “Well, I sit at the right hand of the Father and shit.”

Lucifer answers, “You mean that tyrannical asshat, that has a foreskin fetish, and demands blood atonement for shit he could just forgive? That’s not a position of honor, dumbass.”

Jesus retorts, “Yeh but, I done walking on water, and multiplied food and shit. Didn’t you hear?”

Lucifer says, “With no witnesses, no recordings, and again, duplicating the same so-called miracles all the Pagan deities claimed before you. Unoriginal and truly unimpressive. You really are truly lame. Carpenter boy!”

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WHO’S YER DADDY

“Hey Jeebus, who’s your daddy?” asks Lilith, “A ghost? Three random wise men? Coz it sure wasn’t that cuck Joseph! You gotta raw deal bubba. You got sent to sacrifice. Whereas I was sent to seduce. Wanna take a guess which action holds more power over humanity? Yeh, smirk, sucks too be you, Jeebus. Your daddy obviously doesn’t love you.”

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CORNERING THE CARPENTER BOY

“Is it true Jeebus?” asked Lilith, “That you promised to return in the same generation you spoke to, but then didn’t?”

“Well now, in a ma …” answered Jesus.

”So that’s a NO? Isn’t it true that you stated whoever does not worship you, should have their head cut off before you?”

”Just hyperbole for fux sake.”

“Right … hyperbole,’ laughed Lilith, “You never condemned slavery or rape, have you bubba?”

“Well, no but …”

“Coz you’re a dipshit?” replied Lilith.

“Goddamnit, Lilith! Get thee behind me!” 

“Actually, carpenter boy, I’m going to stand in front of you, and over-shadow you.”

“Fucking bitch!” cried Jesus.

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THE FAILED MESSIAH

Did he save the Jews from anything? Nope. Did he lead his people in a successful rebellion? Nope. Did he meet any of the criterion for the prophesied messiah? None. Jesus was an absolute failure in every regard. Just as jacked up as his papa Yahweh. Fuck’n dip-shits!

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SUPERIOR

I have my admirers bend at the waist. Him, they bend the knee. I encourage free thought. Him, group indoctrination. I bless with lust for your pleasure. Him, he curses with threats of eternal damnation. It should be clear just how superior I am. Now be sure to mock that fucktard, Jesus — failed messiah.

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