It’s not wrong if you are the girl – Non-Fiction

Writer: DarkDestiny

Subject: It’s not wrong if you are the girl

Link: Email / 16.08.2021

 

It’s not wrong if you are the girl

Some years ago, I started dressing, as it felt akin to my more feminine side. I realized that I looked more feminine and started to have feminine urges. I was raised Catholic and this was always known as wrong or a mortal sin. However, I found the first time I gave myself to another man for sexual pleasure that there was something inside. It was always called sodomy. But while I laid there, as he lubed up, I kept getting chills. When he plunged into me — the taboo — became sheer pleasure.

Though it hurt, I wanted him to fuck me, like a girl. As he started to push into me, I moaned from the pain and pleasure. It got him excited and he started to pound me as he later said he forgot who was under him. I remember hoping he would cum in me, and then it happened, He started to shove deeper and deeper and I felt him quiver as he shoved deep and paused, he was filling me. He apologized as he told me he could not help himself and I could not tell him how happy I was. I did not feel it but felt the lust it brought.

Years went by as I started to wonder and then had my first encounter with sucking a man, and not only did he say I was a natural but instinct took over as I swallowed. I thought back to my cherry popping and now and how good semen felt and now tasted. But was I some kind of freak whore, as it was a sin.

Again some years went by as I often questioned things, especially since I looked more like a girl. But then as far as gender, God never makes a mistake, right? I started to get darker thoughts and met trannies and guys who dressed and came across this thought. We are all created in His image, so if men and women both are then he must be both.

I went for a while actually sucking some men off and a few times being fucked but it was wrong, and then came across something that said, “It’s not wrong if you are the girl.”

It was some sort of self hypnosis thing and I watched. I got addicted and ended up on an alternative dating site and met someone who suggested a virtual reality site named second life. I could be anyone or anything I wanted to be. I started with a female character AVI and then a shemale and eventually a sissy male. I found myself going into transformation worlds and became a sub and slave and even a chattel. I once became a sissy Domme but it was not me. I felt darkness start to grow inside.

I loved long hair and would dye it and finally found myself with blue black hair I could put in a tail or pigtails, I then tried makeup but was bad at it then tried a dark/goth look. I started to use the hypnosis and dress when in secret and talk to others as my femme personality. I found myself a feminine exotic name and met a black man on the site. I started to realize the fascination with black men (BBC). I was going down that, so called, rabbit hole. But I was married to a woman and yet had this hidden person inside me. I fell into that place where I was using some weed and had pain pills for kidney stones. It was like something was attaching itself to me.

One Saturday I was drinking and had a pill or two and even put on something sexy and goth I had hidden. My hair in tails and she wanted out to play as I talked to my black friend. He and I decided, as my marriage was falling apart, I would take on her persona and become his mate. I asked him over as he started to tease me with pics of his BBC. He told me if we ever tried to do anything I should be on top to guide the action as I was very tight. He came over and we had one strong drink and I asked to see it.

We are now in my bed as he pulls it out and lets me stroke it and then suck and gag on it. He said later it was like something took over as he told me to slow down. He was fingering me as I sucked and told me I am too tight. It was like what was inside felt challenged. I grabbed the lube and lube his cock and tried to mount it, to no avail. I tried about 5 times til he was soaked with lube. He told me not to worry as there is next time and he said my face changed and what was inside took the challenge.

Before I knew it I sat and felt him pop into me. I was shocked by it and the feel of pain and stretch and it was like it controlled me. I sat and was no longer a man, or sissy or anything else that I knew. But it was like I melted onto it and I realized after another pop he was all the way inside me, all eight inches. It was like a whore took over as I rode him like a horse until he shot inside me. We laid in a cuddle position with him between my cheeks, still hard. We talked about it and he said at times he can go all night and I felt that demon inside take over and said I wanted more. He slid back into me and after all was said and done, five hours and he came about six times. When he left I slid my hand into the gaped and oozing hole that felt like a worn out pussy and felt a presence in the room as if it was pleased.

I lost that man as something took him, but through the years had I met a few men and mostly was a cock sucking slut who would change like a werewolf with the moon. Then my aunt died and I found out my cousin was in transition. I told him about myself and we talked and got close. He, or her shall I say and a few friends dressed me and took pics and as she put makeup on me I could see her tits from the meds. I wanted them too. She was raised Catholic too and I found out later after she was forced from her home by her sister ,she was shunned.

I lost track of her to find out as I went from trying to go straight and falling back, she had died. I found out while researching her back story. She had found Anton LaVey and was welcomed by the Church of Satan and started her change. Wow, I thought, maybe this is who I need. Somewhere, somehow I was hearing scripture, but in a new way. I heard it was said the old fades away and we are a new creation. By this point I had started to get very addicted to the hypnosis and even got on a hypno site looking for help. I ended up losing my house to fire, which put us in a better place and one where eventually I would have my own private computer room.

I started to talk more about things with people on the hypno site, while at times sucking some guys off and a couple anal encounters. But I started to accept this side as I took the name ” Hypnoslutdestiny”. I met a guy who had me take a test to see if I could trance and said I needed to be careful as my mind could be easily tranced or manipulated. We talked as he made a special hypno file to train my mind and then a second. At this point hypno-slut started to think about my cousin and Satan.

We decided it was time to bring out Destiny, but how. I told him I was thinking dark and he actually liked it as he was already there. The hypno session took me into trance and ended with Satan himself bringing out Destiny in some sort of dark ritual. But as he stood at my feet Satan told Destiny inside if he brought her out she would be his daughter. When he pulled me from trance I had a second personality. But she came out when she wanted at times and at times would actually guide me. I had found when in a rut she actually found stuff online I never thought about. After a bit she started to evolve.

I now had the room in my basement with black out curtains and picked up a candle and found myself ordering some toys and stuff. I was taking pics with lingerie on as the wife was upstairs and all sorts of stuff. I then found a new site, one with fetishes and all sorts of stuff, including hypnosis and satanists. I found myself in dark groups and meeting with some about the dark arts and stuff. I met some dark transgenders and so on and a few Masters as all.

I wanted to learn dark magic to help her be out and all. I met someone who taught me a light ritual as she had me use a sigil, piece of food as an offering and a demonic enn and all. She had me do a chant and light a candle and then look at the sigil, which I had to draw as it was hers. I was then to stare at a pic of her on the computer and call out for the demon Amdusius.

I did all and stared and put fluids on the sigil in the means of spit and a drop of blood and semen. I looked at her pic and kept seeing the scene from the exorcist with the crucifix. I then was to say I give my soul to my new master. I realized later that I had given it to her. I never truly felt her call for me but was using the toys more and feeling horny. I even felt something tell me I am more than just a human as I was a mix of man,sissy,fag and effeminate male and would be serving in any of these ways.

I met another on the site who I made my Master and he also had a ritual for me. But this time I found myself remembering how I read about cults using pain to break the mind to program it. I bought some nipple clamps and candles and I decided to do his ritual but with a mirror. I sat and had a shelf where the mirror was where I sat the candle and stuff. I did the ritual and felt a presence as he also had me call on Amdusius.

I then clamped the nips and dripped some wax and it took my mind as I was now finding satanic hypnosis. I found myself using the toys and even one that never fit before as it was like the spirit opened me up. He then told me to take the name “Adrestia666”, yes that was me. I looked to take a name and found it was the Goddess you cannot escape. It was frightening, but why would I want to. I had found myself starting to research black magic and calling out at midnight while I was asleep.

We had to move and it was what dressers call purge time again. I dropped from the site and decided to find God again. I am in the Bible belt, so plenty of xtians here and got the bug again. Adrestia, the one you cannot escape? I started to think about the magic and now demon summoning. I had done some stuff in a mirror in my bathroom — as living in a mobile home — you have lots of mirrors (or occult doorways?)

So I have decided to go back to the site and this time took the name DarkDestiny00 and it was obvious my destiny is dark. I have looked at many demons and researched many but will say get confused. I have asked for visions and clarity and who is trying to own me or possess me or what have you. I have had many shared visions and been warned many times not to call out while high.

It seems though my inner self does not care as if changing fate. I have looked into demons and deities — including Isis, Ishtar and Astarte — and have found somewhere that it is said that Ashtaroth was a female could turn into a male or has both sexes. I have looked for trans demons or such to help. I have looked into the Baphomet as well, and felt all kind of things. Now I have found myself looking into Baal, Ashtaroth and Astarte and such and then grabbing my poppers as felt something. I was getting horny as the lust kind of grew so I was calling on some sort of succubus as I was using the poppers and felt into some sort of trance.

I closed my eyes and heard a sexy voice, now mind you I am unsure of appearances. I looked up and there were people in the room, at least part human I think. They introduced themselves as Ashtaroth, Baal and she was Astarte. She stood there naked and beautiful and hypnotizing. She brought to my attention the others not being fully human and how in their world it was OK to be a mix as she slid on top of me.

She sat on my erect penis and it was like her pussy was a clamp as it squeezed me. She told me I would like it with them but things needed to be taken care of by daddy. I felt her pussy muscles as they milked me but allowed me to cum. I felt like I was getting blue balls. She leaned over so I could feed from her breasts but the milk was sour and like a drug. She slid up as her pussy kept working me as the others came over and had me open my mouth as they stroked and shot in my mouth. It was like a rape drug as I could not move, then felt pain as I exploded inside her as it was like she was sucking me dry. Then she called out in some language I did not understand.

I looked and was no longer in my room but in some dark place as he walked in. I do not know if Baphomet is real? I am told it represents Satan and all sorts of things. I also knew that some like to keep you in a state of confusion, or seeing what you fear to surrender to. But I kiss it and took its snake-like tongue. He looked and told me there is work to be done as he stood there, goat-like-face with horns. He had breasts and legs that were hairy and hooves for feet and two snakes around his cock.

The snakes looked gooey and he walked around and sat above my face with his balls on my eyes. I felt the two snakes slither across my body as they felt like they were covered in semen.I felt her squeeze harder as I was almost drained and he told me I would be a new creature that serves in many forms. I felt the snake tongues tickle my nipples and then the two bite into each nipple. I felt the sting and as I started to open my mouth to scream he slid his cock into it and down my throat. I felt like they were pumping fluid into me as he told me I needed to be able to feed his children. His cock got thicker as it opened my throat as he said it would need to be able to take bigger cocks.

At this point she slid off me as I felt his hand cup my limp penis and balls. He said he was pleased as I had a vasectomy, keeping me from breeding for “Him above” but he would fix that as he shot a load down my throat. He then slid off my face as the snakes let go. Though my sissy breasts were no larger it was like two water balloons with Satan’s milk.

He slid off and went to the bottom as the others lifted and spread my legs and he got close and I felt his large head against me hole. He told me as I felt his snakes slither around my balls, that he would give me His seed so I could breed for him. Then the two took my balls in their mouths and bit and as if filling me with their poison did so with the demon seed as I moaned. Then he stroked once and shot a little on my hole and it burned slightly as it felt like it was opening. He slid all the way in slowly so I could feel the stretch as he told me I asked for the lust and to enjoy sex like never before and that I will enjoy my new life as he hit bottom and started to fill me with his seed. He then told me I will enjoy more since things that used to disgust me I will love. No holds barred lust.

Again I call this … “The evolution of Adrestia666 to DarkDestiny00 and more.”