Writer: Hoku Lani
Subject: God Made Dogs
Link: Tumblr / 28.12.2024
God Made Dogs
Dogs hump for many reasons: excitement, dominance, play, and yes, sex. Chances are you know a hump-happy dog. Maybe it’s the mutt mounting your dog at the park, or your hound humping your leg when you get home from work. But why is it so common?
When your dog is fixed — or your female dog insists on mounting the couch — you may find yourself wondering, “But really — why do dogs hump so much?”
For the answer let’s look at the authority to all, god’s word in the black book. Two verses sum it up nicely as follows.
“For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,” — 1 Timothy 4:4
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him,” — Colossians 3:17
When I was a kid, my pug would frequently hump the cat, resulting in the family joke, “We’re breeding dats and cogs.” Let’s admit it, dog sexuality is a giggle-worthy topic that can embarrass us humans, but it’s a natural, normal behavior for dogs, and God created them to hump and fuck anything.
Humping isn’t always a sexual act, but it is the primary reproductive activity for dogs, who only “Do it” in their style. If you’ve witnessed doggy-style fucking, then you understand humping, you get the basics: When a female dog is in heat, she presents herself to a male. The male mounts her and voila, puppies arrive 56-66 days later.
When a dog is, “In heat,” — it means she’s ready to get it on. An intact female dog will have two heats each year, during which time her ovaries release eggs to be fertilized, and she becomes receptive to mating with a male dog.
Humping can occur without penetration, unfortunately. One major difference between behavioral humping and reproduction is, “Tying,” also called knotting, which occurs when a gland at the base of the male dog’s penis swells to, “Tie in” to the female. Many females desire this sensation as he pumps seed nonstop while knotted.
Dogs are created in god’s image, little fucking machines and as all desirable women are polygamous breeders, meaning females will “tie the knot” with more than one male during a heat cycle. Multiple doggy partners + multiple eggs to be fertilized can sometimes equal littermates with different dog fathers. That’s right. There can be multiple fathers in a single litter. This explains why the mutt your family got from the neighbors looks like a spaniel, but her brother down the street is more of a lab.
Dogs feel no shame about getting their hump on, so scolding is rarely the answer. The best thing to do is allow him to hump his heart’s content. But if the humping happens at inopportune times, you can redirect to another behavior. If your dog seems to hump compulsively, you can encourage him to lick for a while.
Ultimately the next time you are on the floor and your dog initiates a hump session, remember everything pleases God and he designed dogs this way. Simply lean into it and please God.