I eased my fingers out of Jane’s pussy and sat on the bed cross-legged. The pains of guilt were too strong for me to ignore, and I knew God was convicting me. Jane opened her eyes and met my faraway stare with raised eyebrows.

“What’s wrong, Emily?” she asked.

“This is the third time we start to play and God speaks to me. He doesn’t want me doing this anymore. I can’t, I need…”

Jane brushed her long, brown hair from her face and placed her palm on my thigh. Her touch stilled my tongue. She caressed my skin and I closed my eyes while my heart pounded harder in my chest.

“Why would God not want us together?” Jane said. “You always told me that God is love. I know I’m not a Christian, but …”

I stared at the picture of Jesus on the wall, His eyes pleaded with me. I had to make a decision. I lifted her hand off my thigh and looked her in the eyes.

“God is holy, Jane. He made sexual love to be between a man and a woman, a husband and his wife. He wants me to repent. He wants us both to repent.”

I hopped off the bed and dressed. Jane lay back, her legs splayed wantonly.

xxxxx

I climbed into my car and drove, not knowing where I was going. Tears of repentance wet my cheeks. God’s love flooded my heart and I realised I’d sinned against Him greatly. I prayed, “Lord, I give you my life. I don’t want to ever go back again. I commit my life to you, to love and serve you.”

Suddenly, I knew what I needed to do. I drove to Saint Mary’s Cathedral in Perth but couldn’t find a place to park so I prayed God would provide one if He approved of the path I was planning to take. As soon as “amen” crossed my lips, a car vacated a spot.

I entered through the majestic doorway adorned with gargoyles that scowled down at me. Exquisitely carved statues of the saints looked out from the alcoves. Light streamed through stained-glass windows, making gold appointments glint. It was so quiet I could hear a pin drop. This was holy ground, exactly where I should be.

Someone cleared their throat behind me, and I spun around.

“I’m Father Antonio. What can I do for you, my child?” he said, his voice deep and soft. Why wasn’t he smiling?

“I’m Em. Can I talk with you for a few minutes?”

He stroked the base of a silver cross dangling from his neck. His shoes poked out from beneath his cassock. “Certainly. Come with me,” he said as he put his hand on my back.

We followed the red carpet up the aisle towards the altar, past rows of pews and entered a room filled with candle light. He beckoned me to sit in one of the black, leather chairs. The soft light made me more comfortable. I was on a mission after all.

He sat beside me.

“I want to be a nun,” I blurted. “I want to dedicate my life to God.”

“I see.” He shifted in his chair. “And how long have you thought about this?”

“Twenty minutes, Father. I know it’s not long, but I’m very convinced this is what I want.”

Father Antonio tried to dissuade me. His main concern was that being a nun would demand a high level of purity and submission. I parried every objection. I wanted it so bad. He agreed and within a month, after saying my vows, I was officially a nun. Just wearing the habit and hanging a small wooden cross around my neck secured my faith and shielded me from the lusts of the world. But the white cornette gave me purity I had never felt before.

I would spend my days reading the Bible, praying, attending the church services, and cooking for the clergy at the next door convent where I lived. And through all the godliness, a dark secret was beginning to bud in the recesses of my soul..

xxxxx

I woke up with the same dream I’d been having for the last two weeks. Flustered, I got down on my knees, by my bed, and prayed:

“LORD God, I do not want these wicked and sensual dreams. Forgive me for having them. Forgive me for finding them enticing. I repent of all my impure thoughts. Take them away from me, please.”

I had to go for confession in a couple of hours. I knew that the Bible says to confess our sins and get prayer, that we may be healed. I couldn’t bring myself to divulge what my dreams were and how they were creating in me a burning ungodly desire.

The thought of saying dirty things to a man of God made me blush. What would the priest think of me having such desires? My pussy got wet at the thought of detailing my dreams to a priest. I was mad with lust and I shook my head in torment. I kept telling myself that this will pass, to be strong in my faith. My hand, as if having a mind of its own, travelled to lift up my habit around my waist. I convinced myself that I needed to check how damp I was. My gray knickers had a big patch of wetness and I could smell my sex. I blushed again at my arousal but couldn’t help pushing my panties to the side and touching the outline of my vagina. When I pulled my finger away, a long sticky rope of fluid was attached to it. God, what is wrong with me? I violently shook my head. I cannot let Satan win me. I must remain pure. I got down again on my knees and earnestly prayed.

***

“How have you been, my child?” Father Antonio said as I sat in the confessional.

“It’s been great, Father.”

“Everyone is tempted. That’s the nature of being human.” His voice was calm and comforting, lulling me to trust him. My desire for forgiveness and purity overcame my reluctance to confess.

“I’ve been getting weird dreams. Ungodly ones!” I said with a quaver. Tears stung my eyes.

“What is it my child? Tell me. I’m here for you.”

I started sobbing.

“Shush. God understands our weaknesses. Besides, Satan can give us unwanted dreams. If you’re not entertaining them, then you have no fault.”

“They caused me to want these things, Father,” I confessed in between sobs.

“That is why you need to confess and receive prayer, that you may be healed from those desires. You can be honest with me. Speak, my child.”

“I dream of a group of men and women. They’re surrounding me as I lie on the floor completely naked.”

I could hear some shuffling coming from Father Antonio’s cubicle.

“Go on.”

“The men and women hold me down on my stomach and they each kneel down behind me. They’re so hungry to taste my…”

“Your what? Speak, my child.”

I wondered if what I was about to say was going to turn him on.

“They’re so hungry to taste my bottom, Father. I feel so dirty saying this. I’m sorry.” I turned my face away even though he couldn’t see me.

“What were they saying?”

“They were saying, ‘Her Christian asshole is so sweet’. In my dream, I’m aroused, Father. What is wrong with me?”

More shuffling came from Father Antonio’s cubicle. I blushed as I imagined the look of his cock. And I was well aware of my throbbing clit.

“What happens next,” Father Antonio said, voice hoarse.

“They each take turns. Some of them spread my ass cheeks and comment on what my anus looks like before they lick around it. Others push their tongues deep inside. Since then, I’ve been craving for it to happen.” I didn’t know what came over me but I was getting very aroused finally confessing my ungodly dream.

“My child, I believe you’re demon possessed. No woman of virtue desires such a thing. I’m going to perform an exorcism on you.” He sighed before he continued, “You’ll also need to be punished as a penance.”

My heart dropped at the word “punished”, but all I could say was, “Yes, Father.”

“Meet me tomorrow midnight at the altar of the church.”

I thanked Father Antonio and he prayed for me quickly before I went back to my room. My heart was thumping. I didn’t know what sort of punishment he had in store for me, but I deserved it. I needed to be purged from my lust.

xxxxx

I entered the church, three minutes to midnight, and walked to the altar. There, Father Dominic was on his knees praying. I inhaled the lingering incense as I stood there watching until I heard the familiar voice of Father Antonio.

“You’re on time. I commend you for that, my child.”

Father Dominic got up and before leaving he was instructed by Father Antonio to lock the church door behind him.

Father Dominic stood to leave when Father Antonio instructed him to lock the church door behind him.

My stomach fluttered.

Father Antonio and I stood alone, after Father Dominic left. I gazed into Father Antonio’s green eyes for a few seconds before I took in his manly beard, graying on the sides. Father Antonio must’ve been in his mid-forties – not more than a decade older than me.

“Take off your clothes.” His voice held a strong commanding tone – it was sharp and stern.

I removed my small wooden cross then my dress but I left my wimple on. Wanting to be modest, I turned around, giving him my back and undid my bra first then slid my panties down.

When I turned around to face him again, he had his cassock drawn up above his waist, the silver cross dangling against his chest. He wore no underwear and his angled cock pulsated. I was starting to get suspicious, but what did I know about exorcisms? I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Father Antonio looked me in the eyes and said, “Nuns are meant to be pure. Holy. But you’ve craved wicked things, my child. Your sin is great!”

“Please help me, Father.” My eyes started to tear up again.

“Get on the floor. The same way as in your dream.”

I laid on the hard stone floor. It was cold against my stomach, sending chills through my body. Father Antonio straddled my thighs.

“Pray and confess. Speak what I’m going to do to you.” He massaged my back, the first time I felt another human’s touch since I became a nun. I let out a faint moan. “Pray.”

I didn’t know how to pray. I was fully naked and a man of God was straddling my thighs. Surely that can’t be godly. How could I open my mouth and pray in this state?

Smack. My ass stung at Father Antonio’s hard slap. “I said, pray and confess!”

“LORD God, I don’t know what to say. But I need to get rid of those dreams, those desires.”

Smack. Another slap fell on my other ass cheek, and I continued praying, “Father Antonio is beating my ass for having a depraved mind, Lord. He’s …” I felt Father Antonio spread my ass cheeks, so I continued to speak, “Lord, he’s opening me up. He’s looking at my hole. The hole I want to be filled.”

“Slut. That’s what you are. Tell God what you are,” Father Antonio said, breath heavy.

I blushed. “Yes, Lord. I must be a slut for having such impure thoughts …” Father Antonio’s finger pushed against my asshole, and it drove me crazy with lust. “Why, Lord? Why am I loving this? Father Antonio’s finger is now …” His finger went all the way in and I cried, “DEEP inside of me. He has penetrated your daughter. A holy man has penetrated my asshole. This hasn’t happened since I was with Jane!”

Father Antonio got off me and ordered me on my back. I did as I was told and he lifted my legs over my head. He spread my ass cheeks and his wet tongue lapped around my taboo hole. My pussy juice flowed.

“I need to be cleansed, Lord. How am I going to get over these desires? Father Antonio is licking my dirty hole, and I’m ashamed to say it’s driving me crazy. May I rub my pussy, Father?”

I didn’t know whether I was speaking to Father Antonio or praying. My thoughts were scattered as the sensations overwhelmed me. Father Antonio’s tongue went deep into my ass, and my eyes rolled back into my head. He then licked on my pussy lips and sucked on my clit. He alternated between my pussy and my ass. I was soaking wet and his beard was drenched in my juice.

He spoke again. “Get on all fours. Now your punishment must begin.”

I obeyed. Father Antonio picked up a cat o’ nine tails from behind the pews. My eyes flew wide open. He lashed my ass, and the pain was cathartic. I needed to be punished.

“Yes, Father. More. Hurt me,” I repeated as tears fell on the floor. He lashed me thirty times in quick succession before he stopped. My ass was on fire. My hand wandered to touch my butt and I felt sticky fluid. I brought my fingers to my face and saw fresh blood. I cried harder, part of me relieved that I paid for my ungodliness.

“Now, my child. Now it’s time to be purged from such wicked desires,” Father Antonio said as he spit on his hand twice and stroked his manhood. He positioned his veiny throbbing cock against my anus and thrust. The head slid in and without thinking, I rubbed my clit. He pushed further in and I squealed from the mix of pain and pleasure.

“Keep praying and confessing, my child,” he said as he fucked me. God, it felt amazing. Better than any drug.

“Lord, I’m such a dirty whore. Finally I’m having my asshole filled. Thank you for answering my prayers and sending me Father Antonio. I want his holy seed to purify me. I want him to empty his sacred balls deep inside of me!”

I couldn’t believe that I was praying for such things. I needed to cum so bad.

“Please, Father. Please, may I come? I beg you!”

“I bless you, my child. I bless you with my holy seed. Let it purge you from your sin!” He groaned deeply and shot warm cum into my asshole. As he finished he said, “Come.”

His command sent me over the edge. I convulsed uncontrollably, my ass spasming around the softening cock inside of me.

Father Antonio withdrew himself and ordered me to get on my knees. I did as I was told and he stood before my face. “Clean me, my child.”

I’d never imagined I’d do such a thing. But I remembered my vows of submission and wanted to be a good obedient nun. I took him in my mouth and sucked. I swallowed all the juices that were on his cock.

“From today, you’ll find that your ungodly desires will ebb away. You must be honest with me and tell me if you get them again. Your exorcism has been performed and you should now go on to live a pure and holy life. Do not speak a word to anyone about what went on here. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Father. I understand completely.”

I got up, put my clothes on and returned to my room. I opened the Bible and the first passage my eyes fell upon was 1 Corinthians 6:9-10: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.”

As I read it, I was so conflicted. Sodomites will not inherit the kingdom of God, yet Father Antonio just sodomized me. Was it okay because he was a priest?

I got down on my knees and prayed for guidance. “Lord, if what happened between Father Antonio and me wasn’t your will, please let me know. If you want me to quit being a nun, please speak to your servant.”

As soon as I finished praying I got a strong sense that what Father Antonio did to me wasn’t godly. It wasn’t what God wanted. I took off my nun clothes, put on my jean shorts and a Lonsdale T-shirt, and decided to leave the monastery for good. They’re all hypocrites.

THE END