Conversation With Satan by Real Satanist Conversations – Non-Fiction

Nude blonde on left: So what do you say, Anton – how about a nudist-Satanist alliance?

Anton Lavey: Interesting. What do you nudists bring to the table?

Nude brunette on right: Well, we’re always naked, so we’re always Black Mass ready. Give us a table to lie on and a skull to hold and we are good to go!

Nude blonde on left: Also, you haven’t had vegetarian chili until you’ve had it cooked by nudists.

Anton Lavey: I’m not a huge chili fan —

Nude brunette on right: Well then, how about some nudist sloppy joes? Who doesn’t love sloppy joes?

Anton Lavey: I don’t love sloppy-joes.

Nude brunette on right: Fair enough. It’s not just food we can offer — we’ve got a sizeable collection of Pez dispensers, a family of yellow ribbon show rats, at least eighteen lawn chairs, and a pet iguana named Hong Kong Fred.

Anton Lavey: That last fact is unfortunate. You see, here at the church, we have our own pet iguana named Tokyo Tommy. If Tokyo Tommy ever met Hong Kong Fred, we would have another Sino-Japanese war on our hands.

Nude blonde on left: I wouldn’t worry about that, Anton —

Anton Lavey: I have tremendous respect for you nudists and I would like nothing more than to welcome you and your lawn chairs and third place show rats into my church, but I simply cannot risk an iguana war. We had two moths in the attic closet we called Hatfield and McCoy. When their war of attrition finally ended, at least three throw rugs had been utterly devastated. And those were moths! Think of the carnage iguanas could cause!