A post from my friend WINTER…
Savant is shaping up pretty well. I like the writing. It’s got some good steam going, even though the themes aren’t quite to my taste. I can see what you’re going for with the back-and-forth narration. Some things feel a bit too long and others a bit too short. When Andy sucks Joseph’s cock it has several paragraphs but I almost expected more. Seems like it was over quickly given how pivotal it should be to the character’s development. Usually when editing I look at each scene and try to figure out how the ratio of “interesting stuff” compares to its length. It may be too much stuff or, more commonly, too little, which indicates maybe the scene should be trimmed down for length. Cutting is damn hard though. Joseph touching the priest’s hand is an interesting development, and I find myself wishing to read more of those kinds of plot developments. A few things could maybe use the show-don’t-tell treatment, such as Joseph’s newfound knowledge and the initial displays of his savantism, and some of the interactions feel like they need just a few more details to bring the scene to life. Does the priest’s smile at Joseph carry feelings of gay attraction that Joseph could feel at the time? The narration style is distant and detached and I guess that’s your style, but deliberately forcing yourself out of your comfort zone of style is also a way to grow your writing skills and try new things.
Anyway, my obsessive fretting over perfectionism aside, I think it’s coming along great and hope you can keep it going to a satisfying finish.