Clarity of My Purpose by Destiny1961 – Non-Fiction

Writer: Destiny1961

Subject: Clarity of My Purpose

Link: Email LS666 / 21.02.2022

Clarity of My Purpose

It is weird how you can have two sides and do you hold back for fear because you are scared, or scared you may like yourself in a different way? At a young age I knew I was different. I had a high IQ with a mind that thinks outside the box. But I also had a submissive side that cried out to be lead. I had a motherly instinct and spiritual side that was more then anyone knew about.

I liked to take care of friends and the first time I allowed one to take me sexually realized that my inner Gemini twin was feminine, or was it a feminine spirit? I started to get my sexual appetite but realized was jealous of women. I would see the look on their faces as a man came inside them and one female friend who said she loved the taste of semen, and I realized I did too. And then remembered that feeling when a friend shot inside my ass. I did not feel him cum, but felt complete.

Then came the day lust took over and I cried out for fulfillment. I remember making a pact with the devil that I wanted to enjoy sex like women do. I then started to get the urge to suck cock and swallow cum, but lots of times got a tingle in my asshole while sucking as if I had a hot cunt.I wanted cum and lots of it. Years went by and until now never realized was being guided. I felt the feminine side and found myself curious, when I was told about a sim called second life.

You can be anything and do anything as you create a character to fit who you are and want to be. I had to create a character and choose a name. I thought about lyrics I heard over and over and thought about the saying serenity now and the lyrics I need serenity. Then I chose Serinity and it could be Seri for short. It felt exotic like a girl who would give you a massage with a happy ending. I decided to start as a female and went into different worlds that had BDSM themes and fucking machines and stuff. I then found my way into others but then felt need to be more real to myself.

I decided to become a shemale.

I was going to explore everything though did not realize it was being programmed into me. I went into place that I allowed myself to be raped and fucked rough and then abused. It was all in fun. Then I came across a world where there had a caste system and transformations. People here were turned from men into sissies and shemales, they were turned into demons and lots of things. I started as a citizen as most and quickly allowed myself to become a servant.But then found myself wanting to become and did become a chattel.

They said not many could handle that and I played the part and role great. Again I was being programmed for something. I went back and forth into new worlds and went from having sex with shemales to worlds where I got fucked by monsters and demons and even animals. Seeing my avatar being fucked by a dog and horse … oh my. This was wicked, but how wicked can I go. Back to the world where was a chattel and found they had hypno machines.

I never headed warnings so ended up in the machines which played actual sissy hypno stuff. I would find a new me. Now how about the wicked as I found once that inner was released I was finding worlds not only with demons, but a Hell as well. I was submitting to demons in hopes Satan would show up and fuck me, really, Satan? The hypno here was darker but so wild. I had such wild feelings in my body I found myself looking for darker stuff when in the real world. I found hypnosis that told me to get hormones and grow tits and let men fuck me. I was addicted to my virtual world and new life, my “Second Life”.

I found myself on an alternative dating site as a CD/TV. I started to converse with others as Seri. I was becoming her and what a feeling to know others could accept me in a way that was not acceptable to my faith. I found myself going darker and deeper and using hormones and finding guys who would let me suck them as Seri. My long black hair in a tail or tails and tasting that cock as a guy would grab my head as he got excited and let me swallow his seed.

Wait, who am I again? I did the binge and purge lots of people like me did with feminine stuff but it was different as I started to lose who I was.I decided it was time to find God and go straight so became born again and then started to hear the holy spirit and even got blessed with spiritual gifts. They says the closer you get to God the harder Satan will fight for you, but what did I have he would even want. I started to see visions and feel things before they would happen and felt like was in tune with the spirits.

I started to hear the voices, but there were differences in what they wanted.I started to feel the feminine again open up, it was wrong but it felt so good to suck cock and eat cum and at times have anal sex, wait, that is sodomy? I went back into my second life and then was guided to other sites like “Fetlife” and such. Years earlier I found out my cousin was in transition. I told him,uh her about my feelings. Her and friends welcomed me into this and were going to help me when she was removed from her home by family and I lost track of her.

I remember feeling her spirit for some reason when we were close and something drawing me to her after gone. It had been about five years of back and forth again when I looked her up, only to find memorials as she committed suicide. But what was drawing me if she was gone, and the found a short bio she wrote. It mentioned how she was thrown out at a young age only to go to San Francisco where she met the creator of the church of Satan. It was when she started her transition.

I thought how there was someone who would accept this side of me. I found myself searching satanism, the church of Satan and satanists online. I figured maybe I could get help with my doubts and guilt of being this way. I then decided I was already taking hormones, though they were OTC, and my marriage was a sham. New life as a sissy? Maybe a TV? Maybe shemale?

Then thought about the tarot and then black and chaos magick. Then talked to some about rituals and summoning demons who wanted me. Could I possibly go from just a guy in a dress to a true feminine and enjoy the lust inside me? I started to try some rituals I was told how to do. I found myself wanting not so much wanting to be a feminine sissy to find love but felt this lustful side. Imagine men wanting to fuck me and fill me with cum. I started to open up a new me and new name as Destiny as I felt this was my destiny. But serve as a sexual sub, or maybe slave, serve the devil?

It has been a while and have been doing some talking with my demons and calling on Lucifer, Lilith and Satan and many more as I want to be able to actually explore the lust. I found a site called “Littlesally666” and started to read and write dark stuff as I started to feel my other side come alive. I was told about and reached out for my shadow side, that side we want to explore but hide as it is the dark side.

I found myself doing poppers as I did my summoning and seems brought something through the door by accident. I started to summon and ask for things and make offerings to the demons to help feminize my body more and to be able to see into the darkness. I finally let go and accepted my shadow and allowed her to guide and take control. But when I do she calls on Satan himself and wants to offer my soul. I lay in bed as I look at demonic and satanic hypnosis now and find myself instead of stroking my dick, I now rub it between two fingers like a clit, I rub my tiny breasts, yes no longer moobs but real breasts.

I feel the tingles in my nipples and my asshole at times and have to stop myself from fingering my asshole as well. I feel the lust growing and the need to give myself and ask for clarity. I have found a hypno video named no longer a human being. I am starting to feel as if I am not male or female,or even human as I feel like a vessel for sex and semen. I have wondered what the next step is as I have visions of sleeping with men and even guiding them into the dark. I have felt when it comes to giving their souls, they are already sinning so haven’t they already given them.

I have pictured myself as this succubus and I am riding a man as I see his eyes roll and I feel his energy as I suck it from him and see his eyes roll back. I have pictured myself many times in a place where I can do an actual ritual and call for the demons and how they help me as I ask them to bring me dark lovers. Then I started to wonder about my name and who I was when I felt the voices from the past call out to me. They said I was not Destiny as I was right about this being my destiny. I already had a name that was about to get something added to it and I have a purpose.

I was told my name I took when I searched and gave myself to him in my second life was Serinity. Then was given the last name Libidine as for some reason a few weeks back I searched as it is Latin for lust. I was told I was the daughter of lust. I would picture myself doing a ritual even before doing it and all of a sudden, I was doing what I saw like deja vu. Then came this vision as I was reading about summoning for beginners and who should I call and about making outrageous offerings. Is this my purpose or clarity. I saw myself at a time I am able to light the proper candles and incense and the proper summoning.

There are sigils and enns being vibrated and Serinity is now in control. I call out for someone to help my body grow, give me finances to take the next step and to have clarity and see into the dark. I ask to be able to explore my lust and for the power of knowledge and divination. It says only offer what you are willing to give and not your soul. I am kneeling there as I see the shadow of whom I have called and make my offer.

This is just a start to see if we can make it real. I tell the demon that I will harvest souls. But I know I must be specific with my offer so I say I will offer 10 souls, but not of family or friends. But they must bring me those they want. Once it is written then we will go from there. So I find myself being able to take care of bills to start and am on stronger hormones and there I am.

I am in a hotel bathroom and putting on makeup as I call to have the demon join me in my body as promised. I say a quick prayer and walk into a room where there is a man laying in the bed. I sit next to him and we have a drink as the demon inside seems to be messing with him. He asks how I came about becoming this and somehow we joke about the devil. I joke as he says he has a feeling I am going to be great and somehow in a joking manner I ask him if he would give his soul to the devil to have the best sex of his life.

We laugh and he says yes as I start to suck him.He gets excited but I tease him and he wants my ass bad. I joke and ask if he will give me his soul and he laughs and says take it. I get into position and sit on his cock and start to ride it and with each time I move up and down his eyes start to roll and I feel this energy. I pick up the pace and he starts to feel himself draining and cannot stop me as it feels so good. I ride faster and the lean over and kiss him as he cums and I feel it as something fills me.

I tell him to relax as he will not remember as I feel this strong tingle in my body as I take his seed and more. I slide off him as he lay there almost trance like and I clean his cock off and leave. I go to a special place where an alter is set up and the sacred circle on the floor. I light the candles and lay down in the circle as the demoness leaves my body. I see it holding something that is glowing in its hands and as it eats it tells me nine more to go. It puts its hands on my breasts and they swell slightly as it tells me ghat is my reward.

A vision of the future, my purpose?