Writer: Destiny1961
Subject: Carpe Fatum Tuum (Take Your Destiny)
Link: LS666 Email / 12.07.2024
XP Notes: Dearest Destiny1961, hope you’re okay with the edit — as Damion is a non-binary, I have made sure that there are no “he” or “his” references in terms of pronouns. It’s a lovely story — though I wished you were harsher on your assessment of Damion, as it was tricky on Damon’s part.
Carpe Fatum Tuum (Take Your Destiny)
I have found myself looking into the bible as I feel my shadow side get stronger. That side is some sort of femme demoness whore. I was told we all have this hidden, or shadow self which is what we would like but know it may not be accepted. But feminine and maybe whore?
Okay, I will admit that I tried on my sister’s things, when younger. It wasn’t just clothing but bras and panties, and I liked the feel. And yes, I loved the first time, I tasted another man’s dick and cum. And when I allowed another friend to use my ass, like his cunt, I felt like this hot little whore, as he pounded me. But it was like some sort of evil, feminine spirit entered me, as he filled my inner sanctum, with his seed.
I have been able to be in touch with my spirit guides, and even open that doorway. It has felt like a calling, and have always been interested in things, like magick and tarot. I have found myself using tarot apps, and while we all know how vague they are, they have been calling me. I have found myself being guided by my inner self, as found myself looking into transformation, and darker feminine stuff, like transsexual witches, and such.
I have often thought about what it would be like to be a woman, to be a pagan or witch, and to be able to talk to the spirits. As someone who grew up in the church, it is tough to think this way. On the outside being a good Christian man, and yet, what is inside, is a darker feminine soul. It is funny though as head while on the street one day someone says, “Carpe diem” (Seize the day).
I knew what it meant but then they looked at me strangely and said “Caroe noctem” (Dear Night). I asked, and they said, that they knew my background but the bible is not interpreted completely perfectly as it was written in many languages such as Latin. This person said to understand what is being said and understand myself and our future.
I thought they meant a future with them when but they meant my two sides. They said I am not the first to fall and sin as even the best have. Then oddly they said the cards held the truth. I went online and felt like we were being called to a higher space but as if what was talking was talking to what or who was inside and felt a tingle when came across a tarot deck so ordered it.
A few days later, I was thinking about divination. It’s a sin but so is, most of what, “She” wants (who is inside me). My eyes opened to the fact I had been using things to feminize my body — To grow small breasts and a round feminine butt — I started to realize that I enjoyed using toys but not just normal ones. The toys I bought had demon names, such as Asmodeus, which is like a tentacle, meant to go deep into my ass.
I decided to get back into my bible. I came across a section from the “Apostle Paul” that says he does what he does not want to and does not do what he wants. He is doing sin and yet he is in Heaven so it is ok to fall? Then it becomes like a bad movie as I am now in an argument with her who is inside me.
I look like some whacked-out-nut-job as I tell “Her” this is a sin and “She” tells me it is perfectly okay. To make it we must explore all we are. I now am confused and decide to have a drink. I go online and start looking at stuff as now being a widower and single have wants and needs. But things get strange as I find myself looking at porn.
I am now getting drunk, which is another sin but then grab a bottle of poppers and watch porn. I find my mind wandering. I feel myself allowing “Her” in, as I sit there, and begin to stroke myself. Masturbation is also a sin and to waste of precious seed as well. “She” guides me now into watching gay porn. She tells me that this way it’s not wasted. Then I watch transsexual porn where a guy is fucking this horny-looking transvestite. “Carpe voluptatem” (Seize the pleasure) comes across and I find it means to seize the pleasure.
I realize I do like cock, and dressing like a girl.
Then, I came across an advertisement, about someone, called Damion, who claims to be able to heal souls and minds. Damion mentions meditation, crystals, massage, and the use of special teas. I read, where a football player did this, and it helped him. Damion uses a mixture of Latin and Greek and is considered as non-binary. Damion mentions acquiring certain knowledge from various religions. And being a non-binary, helps Damion to be in touch with a wider range of emotions — I figure this means that “She” could be scared — as this may release me from her evil grip.
So, I decided to see if it would work. I fill out this online form, to explain my situation, and get a quick response. The reply says that Damion wants to help me but I must allow both sides of myself to be active — if I am to get rid of the “bad” side. Damion says that the process will bring out my true self so it can thrive.
I meet Damion we sit together. We have a drink to relax so Damion can get to know me. I tell Damion about delving into things like tarot and occult stuff, that opens doorways. I explain how it impacts my inner-self, and even controls things at times — and ask if that means, I am going crazy.
Damion tells me it is just that I am in touch with another side. It’s a side that most can never fully connect with. Damion suggests trying something and asks me to get naked. I am hesitant but do and Damion talks about my small moobs and feminine butt, as he touches both. I moan slightly. Damion asks how it feels. I am honest as Damion gives me this tea. The tea is “Ayahuasca”.
Damion says it may make me see things. Damion tells me to loosen up and starts to rub my bare shoulders. I am sitting in front of a television and Damion turns it on to see my reactions. Damion puts on some regular porn and I start to get an erection. Damion says not to worry. Then Damion hands me a popper bottle.
I tell him it is wrong but Damion insists that I use it. I then smell something else that smells a lot like weed. Damion tells me it’s cannabis — which has been put on Earth by God — so must be okay. Damion has me take a few hits, as the Ayahuasca starts to affect me. My body and mind start to feel strange. I realize the porn is now transsexual porn.
Damion asks my thoughts as Damion is now massaging my chest and small boobs. I tell Damion how I feel and that “She” is getting restless. Damion suggests bringing “Her” out saying that if I am to find the light, first, I must “Accipere tenebras” (Accept the darkness).
We both smoke the glass pipe. While, I know it’s wrong, I am in a state where ”She” is in control, I follow what Damion tells me. Damion says that I must accept “Her” before I can be truly free. Damion dons, what looks like, a black ritual robe and guides me to the next room — where we can free my spirit.
I feel weak, wobbly, very and high. Maybe I am even hallucinating. Damion helps me walk into a room where there is a massage table. I lay down. Damion says that we must take a journey together and prepares me with oils and something that opens my pores. Damion chants some prayers, and again, tells me to accept the dark, saying “Carpe tenebris.”
I do as I am told me as Damion turns the lights out to complete darkness. I cannot see anything in the pitch-blackness. The drugs are having an impact on my senses. I hear Damion’s voice getting closer asking me to see, not through my eyes but through my spirit. Damion begins to call out to “Her” … saying that my inner-self must not resist and that I must join with “Her” … become “Serenity!”
I feel hot oil poured on my belly and over my small breasts. Damion begins to massage them and pray in Latin and Greek. I feel the oil poured over my throbbing erection as Damion begins to masturbate me, stroking my cock, faster and faster.
I start to feel myself changing as Damion urges “Her” to come forth and to become one with the fertile darkness. I start to feel feminine urges. I feel Damion’s tongue across my cock, licking up my belly, and then over my nipples. Damion tells “Her” that “She is the way to ultimate pleasure” as I feel Damion’s naked oiled body slide into mine.
I feel more feminine — I am becoming her — as I feel Damion’s tongue across my lips then pushing into my mouth as we begin to kiss. Damion starts to rub our bodies against one another — frotting our erect cocks against one another. I feel the pleasure building, and then I explode between our bodies, my cum squirts over the both of us, as Damion calls for the “Her” to come forth and take over. Damion kisses me hard on the mouth and then asks me if this is who I am.
“Yes!” I hear her voice answer.
Damion rolls me over, telling “Her” that this vessel will be yours, if you give yourself to me, and you will see many things … I hear Damion’s words “Ego me commendo” (I commend myself) … as Damion penetrates me, I feel Damion’s cock inside me … “Accipere tenebri!” (Accept the darkness).
Damion shoves deep. I feel feminine. I am “ Her” a transsexual demon. Then out of nowhere, I feel what seems to be the presence of others who have watched the whole thing. “I pertinent ad tenebras!” (I belong to darkness) I hear them say, as Damion cums hard inside me and I feel the cum filling my bowels.
Damion turns on a red light to show the others, as they approach me. I roll and spread my legs. I open my mouth as they use me. With each load down my throat and in my ass, I am more of “Her” … more a transsexual whore.
It’s time to serve in my true form.
THE END