A Single Dad,  A Sexually Active Cheerleader Daughter & The Dark Lord – Non-Fiction

A Single Dad,  A Sexually Active Cheerleader Daughter & The Dark Lord

A message from a single dad gives rise to my editing this article written in the past and using it to respond to his question again reveals that while each of us are our own persons, our life experiences often mirror those of others.

A dad sends me a message sharing that he is having, “All kinds of thoughts” about  his cheerleader daughter who he knows is sexually active. How is he supposed to, “React” since he now follows the Dark Lord.

My first response:  Apply the, “Four Maxims” of: prudence, discretion, responsibility and choose wisely.

He  shares he is dating a, “Satanist,” but she doesn’t believe in a real Satan. He doesn’t consider her, “Permanent partner material,” (his words) but the sex is great. So you know, he is a single dad with full custody of his daughter. Her mom is not in their lives.

His daughter wanted to be a cheerleader since before she was a teen and that was fine with him so he encouraged her.  She made the team as a freshman and started dating in her first year of high school. One of the reasons his daughter admitted she wanted to  be a cheerleader was to be among the popular girls  so she would be  included in what is happening at her school. All well and good.

Dad quickly discovered his daughter was being bedded and she admitted that she was doing so (he writing that, among other reasons, she saw engaging in what she called, “Selective sex,”  with selected guys at selected times) as part of being popular.

What stood out to him was her openness and honesty when they talked about the, “Topic”. At first she was apprehensive but when she saw he wasn’t angry or responded as her Aunt would, she told him what was happening.  That openness is part of his, “Problem,” about how he is feeling and the reason for sharing his situation and his question.

He admits that, being a guy, he had and has the usual, “Fantasies,” about cheerleaders, but, being a parent, he has tried to help her be the woman she needs to  be and trust has been of fundamental importance in his interactions with her. He is open to talking to her about any topic but admits when it comes to things female, he has relied on his Xian sister who has, “Been there,” for his daughter and helped guide her into womanhood.

Discovering his daughter having her pussy pounded by a, “Boyfriend” of the moment,  has caused him to question if it was the right thing to do to involve is Xian sister in his daughter’s upbringing but he had no one else to help. He thinks his sister’s negative Xian attitude about boys and sex has hurt and not helped.

He has come to terms with his daughter being sexually active but he wants her to be a sensible woman who doesn’t have to hide who she is when she has issues about guys and goes on at length about any number of issues where he is concerned, including his own desires. The bottom line is Dad is seeing his daughter differently and wants my opinion on any number of issues. The problem is Dad is avoiding the real reason for his message to me and he knows it … he just isn’t willing to say what needs to be said.

It’s not easy for some parents when their little girl becomes a young woman and puberty can be a difficult experience for an open minded  dad who is a single parent.   And the fact that he is a follower of the Dark Lord doesn’t make it easier especially when his responses to life issues are definitely different from those of his Xian sister who his helping in her upbringing. He has, he shares, for the most part, followed his sister’s lead when it comes to things feminine  but he was the one who said she could date “early” and had no reason to regret his decision.

His daughter is doing well in school and seemingly doing the things she wants to do,  but finding her in bed with a guy in his house while he was supposed to be away was an eye opening experience which, he admits, he enjoyed watching (they weren’t aware he was home or viewed them in bed until later) and saw a different side of his daughter.  He admitted, when sharing this, that he had, “No issues,” with his daughter getting fucked as long as it was what she wanted and he saw it as a normal part of growing up.

He hasn’t shared any anything about his discovery with anyone, certainly not his sister who is criticizing him about various issues, one of them being church (he does attend and his daughter goes with the sister and is involved in the youth ministry but, like most teens, other than youth group, is withdrawing from, “Religion”). One of the issues he wants advice about is: should he tell his daughter he follows the Dark Lord and how should he do so since his sister is part of the scene?

First …

… Let’s put this on the table and then take it off so we can get onto other issues. Dad is human. Dad is male. Dad has the hots for his daughter since he has watched her fucking a, “Boyfriend of the moment,” (or should I say being fucked). He watched for a while (his own admission) and what he saw is etched in his memory. He isn’t down on her about her doing so but knows his sister would, “Blow a gasket,” if she knew about it and there would be “hell to pay” in his family because his sister shares everything with other family members. He sees his daughter differently now. How will that play out in the future? That he would love to fuck his daughter (my thoughts from the tone of his message) is  not the topic here but in a subsurface fact. Things like this happen. Everyone fantasizes and he’s not the first dad to want his daughter and many Dads have done so. Dads screwing daughters occurs more than anyone wants to admit. And if teen sex wasn’t happening other than occasionally, why all the sex education which begins in elementary school?

Second …

… His, “Satanist,” girlfriend of the moment is not helpful because she doesn’t believe in a real Satan and is more interested in social issues using a satanist label.   She’s good in bed but not, “Long term relationship,” material for the very reason she is flaky about her beliefs and puts down those who believe in a real Dark Lord, she is not aware of Dad’s beliefs which he holds close to the vest because believing in the real Dark Lord isn’t popular, Dad admits that he is taking advantage of the pussy and whatever else the flaky member of the Satanic Temple is willing to do when it comes to depravity but he will drop her soon.

Third …

… Daughter knows Dad isn’t religious but he has told her he is a believer but not who he believes in. He does have an altar. His daughter knows he has an active sex life because they have discussed this, “Around the edges”. While they have talked about sexuality and he has told her it was normal;  she hasn’t shared that she is fucking. Dad wants her to know he knows and that her doing so okay. At the same time, sis needs to be left in the dark (LOL) and he doesn’t want Daughter to tell her she is or he knows. My response to this is that Dad should sit her down and tell her, doing so by having a, “Date like,” Dad/Daughter dinner somewhere different from where they usually go so there is amply time to sit down and discuss the matter where they can flesh out any issues or whatever questions are asked and need to be addressed. This would be a good time to begin to move sis out of the equation,  not completely but quickly. Later, she needs to, “Be gone.”

Four …

… About his being a closet follower of the Dark Lord. Sit her down and tell her and let her know why you do and how you feel and the fact that you do because you are able to discover and grow as the, “Real you,” and are able to deal with life issues as you wish to. When it comes to morality, tell her the truth about all things. Don’t be afraid.   She knows the, “Ropes,” but talk to her as a Dad to a Daughter and not a guy wanting to get her in bed. Of course that isn’t and shouldn’t be your intent but often men can come across that way so you need to be careful. Don’t be afraid, during this time together, to tell her she is hot, attractive, appealing, whatever. You need to build her up and not present things sexual and sensual negatively. Don’t worry about things like a lesson on, “Protection,” etc. Teens hear about that often enough today from all sides. Let her speak, question and you focus on listening first, then answering.

Five …

… Tell her you saw her fucking (and use the word, “Fuck,” etc —  Don’t be clinical)  and sex is okay as long as she is discreet and prudent. You can’t close the barn door when the horses have left already. Sex is something you will have to face anyway when it comes to your daughter. She’s human. She’s going to do it anyway in the future even if its to get married. Why worry about what is, “Already”. Let her know how the Dark Lord feels about sex and things sensual. If you feel confidant enough,  let her know that home is a safe place for sexual fun. Just have her let you know so that you aren’t there. Why? Because of how that will look to others and problems could arise you don’t want.

Look at my articles about code words and staying in touch when she is away on a date, getting home late, etc. Let her know you love her and want her happy but safe.  She will be apprehensive at first when you bring this up. Make her feel comfortable.   Don’t come across “creepy” but be honest. She may ask if you want to take her to bed. (We think it even if we don’t say it or never would because we would then be the, “Creep”). Simply say, “Yes,” and let her flesh out the conversation if that is how you feel.   For you see, that is what is happening at this point,  she is seeing how you react and what you say needs to conform to your reaction. Loving your daughter doesn’t mean you screw her but you can talk about screwing, especially her screwing others.

Six …

… Lead her to the Dark Lord if she is wanting to do so. Don ‘t rush her and don’t suddenly shift her into a lot of reading whatever on line from all manner of sources because it gets confusing. You can share articles from my Tumblr. Simply copy off the article without the photos if you wish.

Seven …

… How you want to deal with porn in the midst of all this is up to you. She’s seen it so don’t avoid it if it comes up and let her know you view it and tell her how you see porn.

Eight …

… Overall, LISTEN and EXPLAIN clearly without mincing words when you talk. There will be an abundance of issues that will arise once you open up to her. It may be good to plan a personal short vacation with her rather than her going with your sis and her family. That way she can interact with people she meets at the beach under Dad’s watchful eye rather than her Aunt’s wanting her  her to avoid boys and men and be only with family. Say, “Yes,” more than you say, “No,” a good rule of thumb for dealing with those issues where Dad needs to decide unless he wants you to or gives you the impression she wants you to say, “No”.

If your daughter has a crush on you,  play that by ear when it comes to how to respond. Be a good Dad.

My, “Words of wisdom,” may not be all that, “Wise,” when it comes to how others may deal with our Dad’s dilemma. But I am being open and honest. And I admit this article can be confusing If Dad wants her to have a knees-wide approach to life, he needs to say so … it’s all in how you say it. Besides, she is a cheerleader and keeping her legs (arms and mouth also) open and spread wider than wide  happens all the time.