A PONY FOR TWO (PART 5 OF 5)

Feature Writer: R E Geis
Feature Title: A pony for two
Story Codes: Bestiality, Incest, Demonic, Possession, Perversion, Lesbian, Devil Worship

 

A PONY FOR TWO (PART 5 OF 5)

The following interview tells a tragic story. I have had it in my files for two years awaiting the accumulation of enough similar material to make up a book. As is so often the case, I was guided to the woman by a “bird dog” friend who had met her and gleaned the substance of her story. We’ll call her Louisa. She was an alcoholic. Was. I learned a few weeks ago that she had died of poisoning–she drank (probably) something that may have looked and smelled alcoholic, but wasn’t.

Louisa, as I knew her, didn’t care. She was trying to kill herself by drinking. She was trying to atone for a horrible (to her) sin which her strict conscience would not permit to go unpunished. She was forty years old when I taped this interview with her. We met in a lower-class bar, talked in a booth for an hour, and arranged for a meeting at her room. It was agreed that I would bring along a fifth of vodka to “further the cause”. There were six taping sessions, each about an hour long, each paid for with a bottle. Her mind was rotting away in a swamp of alcohol-destroyed brain cells. She repeated herself too often. She was antagonistic, suddenly erotic, suddenly in tears, suddenly calm, suddenly shaking in an agony of remorse as we dredged through that critical, terrible period in her life that was killing her.

But Louisa was able to speak with a kind of power that originated in her emotional agony and in her native talent. She had been to a small religious college and was interested in poetry. She told me she used to read great quantities of books. She even tried writing religious poetry. Her husband was an electrical engineer and small contractor. He often had to be away on jobs for weeks at a time. Listening to her and seeing her, during the taping sessions, when she literally ripped open her soul, was often almost physically painful. I often left her room shaken.

She was, in every sense of the word, tormented. She spoke with a fierceness and intensity that was sometimes frightening. Most of the time her eyes were dull, but once in a while they were like coals from that hell she was so eager to go to. The question will automatically come to mind as you read this transcription: Why did this woman’s daughter cross the line to lesbianism and into bestiality. And why did the mother follow? A December, 1968, article in Newsweek suggests part of the answer:

“Stanford psychologist Philip Zimbardo found that women patients in mental hospitals are much more likely to swear than men. The psychological controls we put on women are so tight,’ he says, ‘that when they breakthrough they really let go.'”

Now listen to Alfred Ellison in his Sex Between Humans and Animals: “An individual whose natural sexual urge has been severely stunted by early parental or religious conditioning, may, following a first accidental contact, turn to the practice of bestiality as a secret outlet for sexual desires and energies which have long been deprived of any other outlet. And in the final analysis, it is perhaps within this latter factor–severe repressive moral training–that one may find the real seeds of not only bestiality, but indeed of all so-called abnormal sex behavior.”

In the case of Louisa and Barby it is obvious that tremendous forces, bottled up too long, burst through the most rigid anti-sexual dogma possible. Louisa’s deep, puritanical religious attitudes and her personal revulsion to sex with her husband were responsible for her daughter’s “sexual psychosis” and for her own helpless fall into that extreme orgiastic and above all masochistic sexual reaction.

My interviews with Louisa follow.

The transcript of those tapes is over a hundred thousand words. It is a shambles to read. I have edited it, cut it, rearranged it, and written, some transitional material. Where possible I have taken out my questioning–and let her answers and erratic monologue tell the story. Bear in mind that she was always drunk during the tapings.

How It Started.

“My Barby was a nice clean girl. I brought her up to be a nice girl. But something got into her when she turned sixteen’ that awful winter on the farm when we were … we were all alone for almost four months. The snow was terrible.”

“No man can know the dreadful pleasures a woman can know. The terrible lusts we are liable to!”

“I spent days of hours in bed with my daughter, swooning in filthy rapture as she did things to me … horribly shameful things … with her hands and with her mouth and with … with things … and in the other room, in my room, with that animal … with that animal!”

“And I did things to her, too, to satisfy her lusts, to repay her … to make life better for her in her sickness. We lied! We lied to each other and to ourselves …”

“The Devil arranged it. I know that now. He took my husband away to work for the winter in another state and brought the blizzards and made her sick … and seduced us.”

“She was so healthy. A healthy baby, a healthy child … never ill … never a hint of the perverted lusts that seized her.”

“She was sixteen and we couldn’t get into town to do anything, we couldn’t have a party for her with her friends from around.”

“She got that awful cough that terrible wet cough and the doctor said she couldn’t go to school at all, probably until spring when it warmed up. She had to stay in bed so much.”

“We didn’t sleep in the same room at first. I trusted her at first. But I caught her doing things to herself. Dirty things between her legs.”

“I heard her one night. It was terribly cold and the snow was almost to the roof on the wind side. I’ll never live in snow country again! I’ll never live north again!”

“I heard her moaning soft and quiet, muffled–like she was hiding it. I thought she was getting sicker. I thought she was having pain. But I’d never heard her make sounds like that before. I went to the door to her room and stood there in the bitter cold and listened.”

“No, the sounds–like she was breathing hard and was trying to keep the moans inside herself. So I wouldn’t hear.”

“And I heard the bed creaking, too. That regular creaking is what made me think. She had to be moving up and down regular on that bed to make it–sound like that.”

That was a dirty, sex kind of creaking. I know sex sounds in the night–and that moaning, and that breathing fast.”

“I know it from my own life, with my own husband when he forced himself on me. Putting his big dirty thing in me. I hated him doing that.”

“Yes, but it was different with my Barby. I was doing it for her sake, not mine. Sometimes it made my skin crawl to do the things we did together and with Diablo.”

“I didn’t know what Diablo meant–it was Spanish and I didn’t know any Spanish–Diablo was just a word she thought up to name him. But it means ‘devil’ and he was; he was possessed by the Devil to do the things he did to us. The Devil took that pony over and seduced us! I know that to be true. It wouldn’t have happened but the Devil got into Barby and that animal and he even got into me. With his whispering at night in my bed, with his burning and lusting in my body.”

“No, no, I resisted. I resisted till I was biting my cheeks and rubbing snow on my naked body. I even filled myself down there with snow–icy snow, but the burning wouldn’t go away.”

“He seduced me through her–through my own daughter and through that terrible animal he possessed! I resisted but he beat me down, slimy and cunning; he slipped into me with a desire to help her, to soothe her burning, and he used my own mother love!”

“I think I beat him. I won. I’m winning. He’s still in me. Once the Devil gets in you he never leaves. He’s always whispering. And once he gets you to do horrible things to yourself that give you that feeling–that feeling–then you’re never free. He makes your body want that feeling again and again, more and more, until you are a slave to it. Filthy, sensual, lascivious rolling and grunting in the vise of the body’s lusts.”

“The first night … yes, when I heard Barby in her bed, doing that to herself I knew what she was doing. I stood listening and I knew. I closed my eyes and I could see through the door, right through the blankets to her body and I could see her fingers going in and out, in and out, in and out, to make the burning more powerful and stronger, until the wave of it comes into you like a moving mountain and takes your breath away and makes you go out of your mind.”

“I felt sick. I opened her door and the sound stopped. Like a knife had cut it off clean as a whistle. She stopped. She was holding her breath.”

“I went in and got into bed with her. It was too cold to sit out in the air. I had to talk to her. I had to make her understand.”

“Barby confessed to me. She pressed herself–her hot young body pressed against me–and she was trembling with what the Devil was doing in her.”

“She cried against me … We huddled under the blankets and her hot body … her flesh was so heated by her lust … her hot body burned against me, It was–our nightgowns were nothing–and her lust came over to my body. The Devil crept through to me then … that moment when her breasts were uncovered by her turning and twisting and she pressed them innocently against me.”

“Barby–yes, Barby … Barby had large, well-shaped breasts. She was a big, healthy, vital girl at the start of that winter, until the cold and that terrible cough took her. She wasted away, she burned away with the fever and that lust … that dirty lust that … that made her blue eyes bright and glittering. It was the Devil looking out of her eyes.”

“But it seemed … I remember, how gaunt she became, but her breasts were still big and sleek and full. And she always had energy for satisfying her lusts. Her woman’s parts were always hot to the touch. She was always eager to do things. She was always slippery to the touch between her legs.”

“She was possessed, and she possessed me. She made me do horrible things! I didn’t resist. I couldn’t resist. My faith was weak!”

“She wept in my arms and told me how she had to satisfy herself. The center of her, the core of her body was driving her crazy. She clutched me so tightly and begged me to tell her how to stop her from wanting.”

“She whispered what she dreamed. She dreamed of men–of the private parts–of men that attacked her. Big men, big in every place … big with need for her. In her dreams they penetrated her. They were like animals–driving into her, always driving, plunging their … their big stiff things into her.”

“I held her in my arms and listened and tried to calm her, but the fever–the lust fever–was in her. I knew I had stopped her too soon. She was burning.”

“Some of her fever came into me. I had had dreams like hers long ago, when I was a girl, and I had done things to myself, but I had been able to resist after a while.”

“Barby was alone in the house with me, for long cough-ravaged weeks, in that bed, left alone to do things with Devil-guided hands.”

“She rubbed against me unknowing, innocently at first. She rubbed her firm young breasts against my own. I am–I was–look at my sagging front now–see my fat belly beer-belly–but then, that winter, I was like her, only older, I was big in the chest, too. I gave her my body.”

“The fire, the slow fire came into my breasts, from the slow, innocent rubbing of her breasts. My flesh glowed and I felt my teats stiffen and burn for more.”

“The evil thoughts came–the ways to give in and not know it, the sly, dirty, pretending schemes to fool yourself … at first. But the time comes when you cannot pretend. When you are panting like a winded horse with your legs spread and your child’s hot mouth is on you and her Devil’s tongue is entering you and driving you to time after time after time of that wild, hot pleasure that cannot end and you know will continue as long as you can stand it!”

“I schemed to myself without knowing, then. I told myself I had to let her have the dirty satisfaction she needed to be calm. I told my daughter to go ahead and do it to herself, just to soothe herself … one last time.”

“But she was too embarrassed to do it with me in the bed, holding her. She was so ashamed and tortured. She could not do it. And so I sacrificed myself. I did it for her. I put my mother’s knowing hand down there under her nightie … down there in the hot, wet, center of her body, in that damp furnace between her thighs, and I put my finger into her and I found the organ that needed touching, and it was like mine … my little tongue of flesh that stiffened sometimes with heat and lust … I knew how to touch hers.”

“Barby oh, my Barby–what did we do? WHY? We gave in, we gave in so easily! Your lust kindled mine and we burned, we burned till we were ashes we burned and we slipped into hell!”

“She’s there now–in hell–burning and screaming in pain, paying for her sins. And I’ll be with her soon. I’ll die soon and join her. The pain will be good. The agony will be good. I deserve everything. I should have saved my child … and I paved the way … I let her do the degraded things we did and I let her bring that animal into the house–and I let her experiment with him and I joined her–and I took it into me–ahhh … the size of it … and the hellish pleasure …”

“We were witches–we didn’t know it–we were worshiping the Devil and we didn’t know it. Not the goat–but the hoofed beast! He came to us cunningly, and possessed us. The monster entered us. The monster killed her–BARBY–raped her–ripped her insides–up–up–up into her–SCREAMING–OH GOD THE BLOOD! I can’t–I–I, no–go away … go away … leave me alone … you jackal, you leech, you parasite … I don’t want your drink … I want to die … (But she called me when she needed a bottle and continued the story.)

“My child clutched me as I gave her that pleasure that first time, in her bed, with the heavy covers over us, over our heads, with cold slivers of air sometimes stabbing into our warm nest.”

“She whispered my name and cried on my shoulder. But she opened her legs for my hand … and she moved so the bed started creaking again … she moved against my hand and tried to drive my fingers into her as she did to herself.”

“I let her do it. I held my hand stiff and let her use it as if it were a man’s thing.”

“It shocked me and I wished she didn’t do it that way, but I said nothing. I wanted her to have the pleasure and be released and calm and soothed.”

“I told myself she had a woman’s body, but she had been a child, a baby, such a little time before. She was only sixteen and she was pressing herself onto my fingers as if possessed! Moaning again. Disgustingly wet there. Sticky and hot. Inside she was large … it surprised me … and she wanted a man. She needed a big man. Her dreams were showing her. That knowledge made my throat tight and I thought we would have to get her married soon. Some girls are not made for waiting. I thought she was ready for carrying babies.”

“And so I let her use my fingers … I heard her whisper in her lust, maybe not realizing she was speaking aloud, whispering for more … so I did for her with three … three fingers.”

“This is what you want, isn’t it? This awful, lascivious detail, isn’t it? The filthy things we did, everything, everything … So your dirty-minded readers can enjoy–can enjoy the terrible things …”

“No, you’re right, you’re so right. It doesn’t matter. Maybe there’s a lesson for somebody in what happened to us. God forgive me, I hope so!”

“Barby clutched me so hard when she, when she reached her time–the pleasure. It surprised me. It shocked me how intensely she felt it. She was so frantic and so greedy for it. It frightened me her greed for that kind of pleasure … that terrible response and that need. It wasn’t decent. No woman should lust to that extent. No decent woman. No girl should have a devil in her for physical satisfaction–like that!”

“Barby was out of her mind with lust in that moment. She touched me … me … she started to do it to me … she put her hand between my legs and her fingers pushed into me there.”

“YES–I was that way–I was eager, my body was ready for a touch. And for a few seconds she mauled my organs and rubbed me inside and out in that shameful welter that the body provides.”

“I was overwhelmed for a time. I was mad for it, too. My legs opened, too. I moaned, too.”

“But Barby stopped when she came to her right mind. She snatched her hand away from me and wept like a child and sobbed for me to forgive her.”

“I did. I patted her and soothed her and finally left her to return to my bed, but then I was still afire.”

“I burned in my lonely bed and had evil thoughts of lust for my husband … not only him. I brought up my memory of boys from my youth … the one boy who had been bold and selfish with me. He had mauled me openly during a picnic and forced my hand to his pants to feel him there–a terrifying hardness. He even opened his pants and showed it to me. I was like a rabbit hypnotized by a snake–it poked up so white and long, with its red cap on top.”

“He made me touch it–it was hot with blood and alive somehow … alive in my fingers like a bird wanting freedom.”

“I put my hand on my privates in my bed and gave myself up to sensuous thoughts and fantasies. I satisfied myself as quickly as I could, taking care not to shake the bed. I rubbed the little, stiff bit of flesh that is so pleasurably sensitive for a woman.”

“When it was over I promised God I would never do it again, and would keep Barby from abusing herself likewise again.”

“But that poor girl–possessed–the next day! The next day when I was out in the barn, feeding that loathsome animal–that pony that became our … our lover! I had a premonition … a flash of inner knowledge that she was at herself again. I could see her in her bed–doing it–working her fingers into herself, gasping and panting in her madness, jerking her body in violent spasms …”

“I had been out of the house for a half an hour at least. I had to find out. I prayed I was wrong. I crept back to the house and was silent as sin as I went inside.”

“My heart sank–I heard her, louder than before, thrashing in her bed.”

“I went to her door and eased it open an inch, to see. Dear God–what she was doing to herself! My blood went cold, then prickly darts went up and down my spine.”

“She was lying on her bed, the bedclothes kicked aside–it was warm, even hot, in the room because the doctor wanted her to sweat, to keep warm, so I always kept the oil furnace set high for her room during the day. She had rucked up her nightie, to her waist, and her nakedness was obscenely revealed, so stark in the cold white light from the window, and her legs were flung wide and her heels were dug into the mattress and she was hunched over and her right hand was working something in and out of herself. Not her finger–something terribly long and round and thick.”

“I screamed, and she–her head turned like lightning to me and she had that wild-eyed look–that shameless glare in her eyes for an instant. Then she flung herself flat on her stomach on the bed and the thing she had been using was shown me clutched in her hand.”

“It was a dried ear of corn. She must have gotten it from the silo–God knows when–and in her warped need, in her tormented mind, she had conceived the idea of using it for that filthy purpose.”

“I flew across the room and seized it from her hand. For one awful moment I inspected it–she had trimmed it on the end and made it smooth. And she had taken one of her father’s rubber things I insisted he use when he needed to do his dirty business with me–one of those skin things–and she had rolled it onto that ear of corn … and had used it on herself It was slimy wet from her body.”

“My heart was pounding like thunder in my ears. Barby lay there crying. I threw that thing from me to the floor.”

“I hit her. I beat her. She howled and wept and I kept hitting her until my arms were tired.”

“And then I was empty. I was drained of all rage and shock.”

“I crept onto the bed and held her again and tried to understand her and to know why she had behaved–why she had done that to herself.”

“She sobbed against me and said she was always ticklish with lust. She needed it … she needed relief … she had to do it … it drove her crazy if she didn’t …”

“I didn’t know how to answer her. It was Devil talk but I couldn’t counter it. She had arguments that baffled me. I tried this and she countered me with that; I tried another way and she turned it back upon me … my own words, to make it seem right that she do things to herself.”

“She kept after me, begging me: ‘Let me have it back, mother, Please, please, please. I need it.’ I should have thrown it away, into the garbage, out into the snow as far as I could throw it … or I should have burned it, that Devil’s implement! The device of Satan!”

“But she kept arguing and pleading. She writhed and howled and kept using her hands every moment that I wasn’t with her. She broke the cord when I tied her hands away from her body. She was supernaturally strong!”

“She seduced me with her telling how good it felt to use the thing. How satisfying it was to her, how it filled her aching body with joy and glory.”

“I could not defeat her. In my deepest heart of hearts–I did not want to deny her. I see now, I know now–I wanted it, too. I wanted to use that terrible, big, imitation man thing on myself.”

“How one terrible thing led to another. How easy it became. One perversion became right and so another degenerate practice became permissible, and another, and another, until … until …”

“I resisted her for three days. I prayed day and night for her and for myself. I asked for a sign, for a sign … to prove to me I was right.”

“But the Devil prevailed. HE created a sign in the sky that brought a cry of joy and triumph from Barby. She called me to look … and there was a cloud obscenely shaped in the form of a man’s organ, sailing overhead, shaped so perfectly … so detailed … that it brought a blush to my face.”

“I could not fight after that. I believed somehow what Barby wanted was what she needed to become well.”

“I gave in. I took the thing from the drawer and I washed it and I placed it in her hands.”

“I had seen the Sign. They said in the hospital where they sent me after I went crazy after Barby died, they said the cloud was a hallucination–we imagined it. No. No. It was there, floating white and perfectly formed. We saw it.

“The doctor–the psychiatrist–said we were both extremely neurotic that winter and that her long illness and our being snowed in so long … I forgot all he said.”

“That doctor wanted me to think that putting down the flesh and exalting the spirit is bad. He told me that splitting the body off from the mind was wrong. But they are separate! There must be mind over matter–spirit over flesh–or we are nothing but animals! That is what makes us God-like. That is what raises us above the beasts.”

“He said the body and the mind were one I He said science and psychology show that we cannot deny our sexual nature. He said to keep down lust too far only resulted in its coming up stronger than ever, and coming up twisted. He said sex was a basic need. Like eating. But for thousands of years we have known that we must be pure! For thousands of years we have been uplifted by denying the fleshly desires.”

“He said Barby went insane trying to be impossibly pure of mind and body. He said I had taught her to be too good and too clean.”

“But it was only weakness. We were imperfect vessels for God’s love. We let the Devil enter us.”

“The doctors and scientists don’t believe anymore. They’re all so sure of themselves. They think they are all-powerful. But they still die. They all still die. Then they find out.”

“YOU’LL FIND OUT!”

“I’ll tell you, yes, everything you want. It can’t hurt Barby. It can’t hurt me.”

“Did I tell you my husband cast me away? He put me aside. I get money from him now, but he does not want me. I do not want me, either.”

“I don’t know! How big it was? It was an ear of corn a big ear of corn … yes, thick and long. At least–yes, like that. We never measured it. That’s disgusting. Only a man would want to know the inches …”

(At this point Louisa went into a kind of drunken trance. Her voice became intense and low and she seemed to forget I was present. She seemed to be speaking aloud to herself, and to be reliving in her mind what she described. She twisted and tensed in her chair. Her fingers intertwined in her lap and remained locked tight. Her eyes were vague and unfocused.)

“She took it–there in the living room in broad daylight–and was shameless. She took off all her clothes. She stood naked and she fondled herself. She wanted me to touch her. She wanted me to use it on her.

“But I couldn’t. Later … later I did. But then I could only sit and watch my child abuse her body with that thing.”

“She stood by the heater and rubbed it over her breasts and teats. It was covered by that thin rubber skin, but the hard, dry kernels of corn  made it bumpy and like a cobblestone surface.”

“Barby was flushed and crazy-eyed. She rubbed that thing between her legs and then bent over slightly and put the end of it in her.”

“It was horrible to watch her face as she twisted and turned it and pulled it up into herself. I was shaking as I watched.”

“She pushed and pulled and got almost all of it up into herself. It came out wet and slippery. She sat on the rug and did it faster and faster. She made those sounds of pleasure. She forgot I was there at all. She squished it in and out of herself, so far in that she held only a bit of the thick end. She used one hand and then the other, then both hands. On and on and on.”

“She was like an animal, sweating and grunting, that thing making awful wet sounds, and with her face not the face of my pure little Barby … a different creature I didn’t recognize.”

“She reached her pleasure. She was breathing so fast and so hard–her legs were thrashing, and she rolled onto her back on the carpet and her voice came out of her throat–horrible moans–like a pig wallowing in a mud sty. And her arms were steel, jerking that awful, big thing into herself–making it go in go terribly deep, taking it into herself so fast, so violently fast. So brutally.”

“It affected me. Her pleasure was like a lure. If she could have it–why not me, too? I had all my life stifled my lusts. The burning was in me, too.”

“In a dream, in a dream, I opened my clothes and fingered my teats. While my daughter wallowed on the floor in obscene spasms of pleasure, I plunged my hand to my core and found myself shamefully wet.”

“I was dizzy. The room swirled. I heard a roaring. I was suddenly on the floor with her. She lay quiet and I took the thing from her. I pulled it out of her and pushed it into myself.”

“Oh, God, it was big. It had been weeks and weeks since my husband had done his dirty act with my body.”

“It was so thick. I couldn’t understand how she could take it, so much of it. But I worked it and worried it into me, and it finally sank into my depths, into the Devil’s pit in my belly.”

“It burned in there like fire, stretching and awakening my secret places. I pulled and pulled and it rubbed somewhere very deep. It pressed my womb and a breathless thrill shot through me. My belly was suddenly hot. My legs got heavy. My breath was deep and fast. I could not keep from using the thing faster. The lightnings of pleasure were such that I had to feel them more and more, quicker and quicker, and I was plunging that thing into myself as Barby had deep, and so fast–and I was grunting as she had, and was groaning, wallowing in the pleasure, wanting more, wanting it to be stronger and sharper and wanting the hot bubble in my core to break. It had to break and spill a heavenly rapture through me. I knew it would … oh, it was coming true … oh, it was almost there … it was rupturing–OH YES …”

“I was addicted in that awful time. I cared for nothing … nothing but the golden pleasure that was driving me mad with delight.”

“When it had faded I saw Barby beside me smiling–smiling with the mouth of Satan.”

“We abandoned ourselves from then on. We gave up our souls for fleshly pleasures of all kinds.”

“We made other things of a likeness to the thing she had created. Other ears of dried corn were altered … and we tried bottles … and we tried … I will not tell you the things we attempted.”

“The floodgates were open for me. I found myself in bed with Barby that night, rubbing her chest with an oil that was cold and hot–menthol of some kind prescribed by the doctor.”

“But where before I had let her apply it herself, because I was unwilling to touch her breasts with my hands, that night I did it willingly, with her eager permission. She suggested it, and I agreed.”

“We were in my bed, the big bed my husband insisted on–king-sized because of his six-foot-three body and need to sprawl out and roll freely–and it was late. The wind was up again, howling, spattering snow against the window. I had the heater on. I all of a sudden didn’t care about saving oil anymore. I wanted warmth all the time. I did not deny myself anything.”

“It was nicely warm in the room and we lay atop the covers in our nighties. Barby lay uncovered to the waist, on her back.”

“I had my hands on my daughter’s breasts, rubbing the sharp-smelling oil into her flesh. I could see that she enjoyed it. Her teats were up, hard and puckered. The oil made my hands and fingers slide easily on her body. The rubbing became sensual … extremely sensual and lewd.”

“She squirmed under my hands, and sighed and smiled that licentious smile. I didn’t know her any more … my sweet, innocent little girl Barby, who had devotedly read Scripture for an hour each day and prayed, as much as I … now she was a fallen angel. Transformed.”

“And so was I–seduced by pleasure and sloth … I fondled my daughter’s large breasts with indecent enjoyment. I squeezed them and slid my oily, slick palm over the full globes of them. It was a delight to feel them go warm, to rub the stiff teats and make her face glow, and to squeeze the deep flesh, to push the rubbery, smooth, white mounds from side to side.”

“She asked me to kiss them. She was breathless. I could not do it–then. She took the bottle of oil and poured some into her palm and she … with her other hand she pushed the straps of my nightgown down my arms. The bodice fell and my own breasts were exposed.”

“I let her use her hand on my breasts. I let her smear that oil. The sensation was of ice and then warmth, heat, heat that reached deep into the flesh.”

“Side by side we lay, caressing each other’s breasts, rubbing hardened teats until they glowed.”

“I could not resist. The thing we had used earlier in the day was on the table beside the bed. My eyes turned to it again and again. Its rubber skin was shiny in the light from the lamp over it. ‘Me hard kernels of dried corn showed clearly–red and yellow and some black.”

“Lust grew in my body as we fondled for endless moments. Barby raised her head and began to suckle on one of my breasts.”

“It was exquisite. I trembled. I had permitted my husband this liberty only rarely. I had never responded like this. His lips had never brought forth the pleasure I experienced at that moment. Barby fell back onto the pillow. She asked me again to kiss her breasts.”

“I did … I suckled on her breasts as she had on mine. I mouthed her teats willingly and knew joy when her moans came and she praised me.”

“She touched me between the legs as I suckled on her. And I felt her reach over me to the table. A shiver went through my body.”

“Barby put some oil on the thing as I mouthed her teats. I did not want to see what she was doing.”

“But then I felt the touch of her fingers entering me, urging me to open my thighs. I knew if I did–that she would use that thing on me–she would push it into me and ravage me with it.”

“I trembled and pressed my face to her flesh and flung open my knees. I wanted that thing in me, I wanted it with a sickening, lascivious greed.”

“She whispered awful, filthy words in my ear and pressed the end of that thing into me. And in … and in … until I thought I could not possibly take any more. My Devil’s hole was full of the Devil’s implement. Strange hot shivers went through me.”

“Barby began thrusting the thing in and out, in and out, and I closed my eyes and I imagined the horned goat-man was between my legs, ramming himself into me so violently and deeply. A great spasm passed through me. I was weak with lust, unable to speak or move beyond the obscene jerking of my hips, and the lewd sounds of pleasure that poured from my throat.”

“At length a fit … a seizure, a wild moment of impossible pleasure left me hoarse and shaking, empty of feeling.”

“I put a palsied hand on Barby’s arm and she stopped my impalement with that thing. She let go of it. I pulled it–sucking horribly–from my body and listened to her dirty pleadings for me to do to her as she had to me.”

“My hand guided it to her gaping core. My hand pressed it slowly up into her belly until there was nothing left to enter her. My hand began that terrible, wonderful stabbing.”

“Barby quaked from it … cried her lust and her pleasure from it. She was a wanton–as wanton and obscene as I had been. That lower mouth gulped the implement and rose always to gulp it again, with slobbering greed.”

“For long, violent moments I stabbed her with the huge, thick thing, until her belly rose and sank and she shook and twisted in the throes of the pleasure I had known, too.”

“She calmed and I released the thing. I lay staring, waiting, but I went unpunished–then. I lay and remembered the Sign–the cloud–and I didn’t know what to think.”

“My child was possessed by Satan. She led me farther into degradation and debauchery. I asked why, why, why, and she leered at me and said she was a witch and she made the sign of Satan with her fingers.”

“She laughed when I shrank from her and she seized me and suckled ferociously on my teats again.”

“The power of her evil was too strong for me. I had fallen too far. My faith was weak–I was a degenerate–lost. My bodily lusts were unleashed–running free in me, gobbling in my mind to let go of all restraint, to wallow in lust, to enjoy everything in every way.”

“Barby’s mouth was skilled beyond imagining. Her suckling on me brought the passion for more pleasure surging into me like a hot tide.”

“Her fingers came to my thighs and manipulated me. I was on fire. Her mouth left my teats. She moved curiously over me, and then she settled between my legs.”

“My heart began a furious pounding. My blood curdled and went to ice. I was paralyzed. I lifted my head and our eyes met.”

“She smiled that Devil’s loose, wet, sensuous smile–that leer–and lowered her open mouth and kissed me–there!”

“I sobbed for the horrible shame of what was happening with my own daughter … and for my helplessness to stop it. We were flaunting terrible, unnatural perversions. We were falling into the Pit!”

“And yet I abandoned myself to the pleasure that came to me from her mouth … my own daughter’s evil mouth!”

“She had never done that before, I was sure, and yet she knew how to perform those indescribably lascivious acts with her tongue and lips.”

“I could not stop her. I did not wish to–I came to begging her to continue, to go on and on as the filthy ecstasy grew in me and expanded and burst that bubble of rapture that no woman should know, that seductive, dirty pleasure that drives all thought of purity away, away, away … and fills a woman’s mind only with lust, and the wanting of more pleasure.”

“Each time that great pleasure overwhelmed me I thought I could endure no more, and each time it passed, a still greater lust for it to return possessed me!”

“I lay with my thighs open, my arms wide, moaning shamelessly, writhing in pleasure, hearing her wet sounds as she captured my soul with her diabolically knowing mouth.”

“Finally she rose up, her sweet child’s face–her woman’s face–her Devil’s face, all wet from my inflamed core.”

“Satan’s smile was still on her glistening lips. Those perverted lips told me she wanted that filthy service, too.”

“Her bubbling cough was never present when she indulged in lust. The dark powers cured her for the time she did their bidding.”

“She moved over me. Her knees enclosed my shoulders. Her core was over my face, a wet, pink mouth, ugly and fascinating, ready to press down on me.”

“I begged her not to make me do it. I screamed. I flung my head from side to side but the solid white walls of her thighs were on either side. My arms and legs were senseless, too weak to raise. My belly sickened and put the taste of bile in my mouth. My heart truly hammered. Ashes seemed to dry my tongue.”

“That awful, bearded, pouting, unnatural face descended to mine and pressed its fevered, dripping, loose lips to mine.”

“I gagged and could not breathe. I tasted those fluids of lust. I wished to die.”

“She raised up and instructed me, firmly, as if I were the child. She pressed down upon my mouth again–and–I obeyed …”

“She told me more. She was patient. She let me learn … I soon wanted to learn, to give her what she had given me–for there would be nothing further for me if I did not please her. She would deny me her mouth. She would deny me that thing we used.”

“I found–a skill. I discovered ways. I was soon looking up the white, rounded, billowing slope of her belly as it flexed during her pleasure.”

“Barby said vile words of approval as I gave her pleasure that way. Where did she learn them? Not from me. From her father? From her father? FROM HER FATHER?”

(Louisa was unable to continue at this point. I left and returned when she called me again–in need of a bottle.)

“We did those things for days … days and days. All night sometimes. We did nothing else. We stopped bothering to dress. We ate with a kind of impatience. We became haggard. We didn’t bother with combing our hair. Nothing seemed to exist but our sexual organs.”

“There were so many ways to excite each other at first. The pleasure was endless. I could not believe it could go on and on like that, without diminishing–but, it seemed the opposite–the more we indulged the better it was, as if, for me, a lifetime of self-denial was being made up for all at once.”

“But it was Satan at work, using my organs to seduce me to his way. He wanted me. He paid for me in his coin–beastly pleasure … animal gruntings and perverted ecstasy, in sins uncounted, unmeasured.”

“My body became a vessel of lust. My mind became centered on ways to provoke lust and pleasure in Barby, so she would perform them on me in turn.”

“Weeks passed. We lost weight. We slept together, we often never left the bed except to go to the bathroom and to get something to eat and drink and to go out to feed and water the stock.”

“We always took care of the animals in the barn, and the chickens. But it was a grudging care. We thought only of our pleasures.”

“We refined our skills and devices until we could often use two or more at the same time. Nothing was beyond us.”

“Barby was not content with even the ‘normal’ perversions. She wanted to experience everything.”

“She … she asked me to use one of the things–one of the sheathed ears of corn–use it in the other opening of her body. You know. You know–where you sit.”

“It sickened me–even sunk as low as I was–it turned my stomach. But I complied … I penetrated her with it … and days later I used two of them at the same time. It was so utterly foul–to labor over her with two of those big things, plunging her full in both places … and to see the unholy expression in her eyes–know the pain and pleasure that flowed and melted together in her body.”

“YES–I know those pleasures and pains! I allowed her to–”

“We tried everything. We searched our wits for varieties, for different ways …”

“It was at first a game … then a hungry need … finally a desperate search …”

“OH YES, I’LL TELL IT NOW!”

“Barby–it was her turn to go out and feed the stock and tend the chickens. But she was gone too long. I wanted her.”

“I worried. I went to the door in my coat but naked underneath, and I called her. But the wind was too strong and cold.”

“I threw on my clothes and boots and went out–down the path to the barn and I found her in her pony’s stall.”

“It shocked me–as far gone as I was–it shocked me.”

“Barby was kneeling in the straw and she had her hands up on that animal’s parts. She was playing with his thing …”

“We should have bought her a mare. But she was twelve years old when we gave in and only a stud pony was available … We never dreamed … But I see now it was God’s will. He wanted to test us. We failed. He let us have our way and we took the easy way–and it happened …”

“Barby heard me enter the barn–she looked up at me and that smile was on her lips again. She said, ‘Look what I found!’

“She told me to kneel and look. I knew–I was raised on a farm. But to see my girl’s small, white hand on that monstrous thing … to see her stroking it …”

“It was larger than the things we had been using … longer. It projected down and she stroked it, made it longer, and smiled!

“A terrible fear came like a clot to the pit of my stomach. I tried to get her to come back to the house. She did, because it was so cold. But she looked back, and her voice, low and depraved, wondered what could be done with a pony …”

“The next day she went out to the barn out of turn, and stayed an hour. I was jealous, yet I would not give her the satisfaction of going out to get her. And I was afraid of what I would see. Barby was capable of anything.”

“And then–then–then she brought that animal into the house! That great male thing! She led it in through the door with a great draft of icy air. It clomped around and seemed to fill the living room with its size.

“I wouldn’t have it. I ordered her to take him back to the barn, but she only smiled and shook her head no. She said she wanted to play with him–with his thing. She said it was fun. She said there was something she wanted to show me …”

“She took off her clothes. She became naked and she said how nice to be naked with him, to be with him and be warm … She knew she couldn’t keep him for long inside–the heat would harm him; he was used to the cold. His coat had grown long and thick.”

“She pressed her breasts and belly against his flank. She rubbed herself against him. Her teats expanded and hardened.”

“‘Do it, mother. Try it,’ she said. She ran her hand under his abdomen.

“I refused. I was naked and I was eager for pleasure, and I had tried almost everything she had thought of … but I could not–then–rub myself against the shaggy side of a pony–an animal that weighed at least seven hundred pounds.”

“He snorted and breathed like a bellows. He tossed his head. He smelled!”

“But Barby didn’t mind. She was excited. She sank to her knees and handled him under there. She told me to look … Look …”

“I was … I was curious, a little, and disgusted. I went to my knees on his other side, opposite her, and watched. I didn’t see how she could touch it. I saw it emerge a giant’s organ.”

“Barby touched it–ran her hands along it and was breathing fast, aroused, as she did it.”

“She told me to watch … watch what happened …”

“She began to masturbate that animal! She spat on her hands for wetness and rubbed her cupped palms along that monstrous thing. It was terrifyingly long!”

“The beast neighed and stamped its hooves with delight … I’m sure it was delighted. It tossed its head and its blonde mane flew. It looked around at me and I saw that look in its eyes!”

“THAT LOOK–YES! Intelligence and cunning, and lascivious knowledge. I saw Satan in that animal’s eyes.”

“He smiled! That same evil smile. He let me know who was inhabiting that pony’s body. My blood–yes, my blood went to ice and I moaned so that Barby asked if I was sick.”

“I said no. I was trembling. I watched her as she continued to rub that immense thing.”

“He got more and more frisky. He almost stepped on Barby once. I held his head down by the bridle. He snorted and I swear he groaned in that huge barrel of a chest.”

“She was clasping his thing with both hands, she was rubbing it faster and faster, panting with the effort, watching the end of it. She said he was close to shooting.”

“He almost danced away from her. He tried to pull away. He wanted to raise up and enter a mare. His instincts–”

“I held his head down. He almost pulled my arm out of its socket. He neighed loudly. His hoofs clopped on the rug.

“Then Barby gave a little scream of triumph and rubbed that monstrous organ furiously. It was a violent pinkish purple, and swollen and ugly and it jerked in her hands–his whole body seemed to jerk and a thick, syrupy jet of white stuff came out and spattered on the carpet.”

“I recoiled. But I couldn’t took away.”

“More of it shot out ore and more. The rug under him was getting soaked with that awful male stuff. The air began to stink of it–that disgusting raw smell. It turns my stomach.”

“Barby was laughing! She enjoyed the sight of it spurting out like that! She enjoyed making it happen!”

“I told her she could wipe it up, and wipe it UP good! I told her to take him back outside, that she had had her fun!

“She did. And she wiped that stinking, repulsive stuff up. Then she came to bed with me … and we … did things to each other.”

“She was very passionate. She demanded my mouth and the use of the artificial things we had made–she was insatiable. She kept me doing things to her for hours.

“Yes–in her lovemaking to me–it was not love, it was lust incarnate, mutual satisfaction of diseased sex urges … she was ardent. She did to me everything I liked, for as long as I could stand it. At my point of exhaustion–when we finished–it was nearly dawn.”

“We slept for ten hours. I was more tired than Barby–I dozed on after she left the bed the next afternoon.

“I woke up with the sound of that animal’s hooves thumping on the floor in the living room.

“I went naked from the bedroom and found Barby with him, playing with him. She had stimulated him so that his thing was all the way out–that great obscene length–and she had a pail of water between her thighs, and she was washing it.

“I asked her what she was doing … and she said, ‘Watch, mother, just watch!’

“She soaped it and masturbated it–and that beast enjoyed it … he rolled his eyes at me.

“I was suddenly afraid. I couldn’t tear my eyes from that huge organ. Barby was sliding her soapy hands to and fro on it, watching it like a slave, obeying the perverted master that had possessed her.

“She told me to come closer so I could see it shoot. She told me to touch it … do it with her!

“God help me, I put my hand on it. It was like touching a wet snake. It was warm and clammy and revolting to touch.

“Barby said, ‘Let’s do it together.’ She pressed my fingers around it. Yes–there was room for three hands on it, it was so long.

“It was a skin-crawling time for me … but I did it. I almost enjoyed the perversion of it, the abhorrent, loathsome …”

“We stroked our hands on it, faster and faster, kneeling half under him on each side. The only way we could see each other was by ducking our heads below his abdomen.”

“His heavy girth was heaving so near my face. I inhaled the damp-sour smell of his thick coat. His left hind thigh rippled with muscles. He snorted and groaned. His hoof nearly hit my leg. It was dangerous, what we were doing.”

“Barby said, ‘I’m going to try something tomorrow.’ And I knew … I KNEW what she meant. I said NO, but her voice was full of strange lust … something new, she had to keep trying new ways …”

“We kept on masturbating that huge thing. My arm was getting tired. The thickness in my loose, slippery grip seemed to swell and get harder. The beast became extremely prancy. Yet he seemed to know he had to stay put–he seemed to know he had to be careful not to step on us. But of course the evil intelligence in him guided his conduct. That was proved when–when Barby, the next day …”

“Barby kept saying she was going to try it. She was going to figure out a way to do it. I couldn’t see her face, but her voice had a husky, reckless tone in it.

“I could not control her. I could not control myself. We were both in the malignant grip of our flesh-minds.

“Flesh-minds. The urges of our baser selves. The sin-minds in all of us which wait and wait and wait for their chance to take us over. They lurk in the pit of our brains and they grow strong and they scheme and plot for a weakness to happen, and then they make us do something dirty and it is full of pleasure, and they seduce us to more filthy acts and more, until we are in their control!”

“Yes, these flesh-minds are linked! They communicate with each other. They are in constant contact with Satan in his lair in the center of the Earth. In the depths … in the Fire …”

“That was what happened to Barby. She was weakened by her illness and idleness … and the Devil found evil for her idle hands to do. She slipped and soon she was over the edge–sinking into total degradation … and she took me with her! She awakened my flesh-mind and fed it and overwhelmed me! She and Satan! I could not stand against them!”

“So Satan claimed her. He has her now. Her immortal soul is on the spit, bubbling in the flames, in her agony … yes, the agony of her death! That’s how–she is spending eternity–with that monstrous thing plunging up into her, ripping her, tearing her belly …”

“NO–I warned her. We held that huge thing in our hands–it was so big–it was, yes, yes, at least a foot long … and that beast was so vicious when aroused–so elemental! The wicked mind in him let the primal instincts have their way when the animal was in that position … when Barby and I–”

“YES, I!”

“It was a nightmare. The days after that time that we knelt and masturbated that thing together. She had to have me participate. She had to debauch me. She had to include me in her depravities.”

“I have to tell you what it was like–feeling that thing … shoot. It–I couldn’t see it. It was hidden by the animal’s flank. I didn’t want to see it. It was terrible enough to have my hands on it with Barby.”

“That huge clammy-hot thing jumped in our hand and Barby gave a laugh–‘There he goes!’ and I felt that monstrous organ leap in my hand again and again. I felt the passage of that stuff through it!”

“The awful smell came to me and some of that–some of it spattered on my knees and thighs. I felt it splash on me! I was revolted. I scrambled away and went to wash–to bathe.”

“While I was in the tub Barby came in. She reeked of his stuff. She came into the bathroom and smiled evilly down at me and she was covered with it–smeared with it! She was wet with it–her hands dripped with it! She had slopped it onto her breasts and belly and thighs …”

“She flaunted her filthiness before me. She said, ‘I’ve thought of a way, mother. It’ll work for you, too. You’ll see. Diablo is going to–I can’t say the word she said.”

“Barby was insane. To do that she had to be insane. That’s what happened, of course–the evil lusts–the Presence that took her over–it left her mind twisted. It wasn’t her fault, poor dear, poor, poor Barby … my darling daughter. She wasn’t responsible. Neither of us were responsible for what happened, not really.”

“WE HAD TO BE OUT OF OUR MINDS! We were Christians … we prayed, we always kept our thoughts under firm control. I taught her that–‘Control the thought and you control the body.’ It is the easy way–the first defense.”

“It is just that–Something interfered. She said she couldn’t control her thoughts. I couldn’t either. I tried! I fought–”

“In the bathroom–yes, I screamed at her to wash–but she only smiled and leaned down and smeared me with it–that awful smelly stuff!”

“And then she–she had to be insane! –she put her finger into her mouth! Before my eyes she tasted it and smiled and said it was like honey!”

“She enjoyed shocking me. She enjoyed doing things that she knew would revolt me … and then making me do them, too.”

“‘Honey, mother … taste it.’ It must have turned her stomach, but she smiled and put her other, drippy fingers near my mouth.”

“The smell was awful. I shook my head. But she Pressed her fingers to my mouth.”

“WHAT POWER MADE ME DO IT? I howled in my mind and I locked my jaw–but my mouth opened! My stomach was churning. I knew I’d vomit. I was dizzy again. There was a roaring in my head.

“Suddenly her fingers were in my mouth–and I tasted–I tasted the slimy–”

” I didn’t vomit. I didn’t … I don’t care! Yes, yes, yes, I swallowed it! She had my eyes. I couldn’t break her gaze–she had my eyes and my body. HE had her and she had me!”

“No–two days. Two days later. I don’t know why … yes, I remember … she wanted him to be ready. She wanted him to have a full amount of…”

“I told her, I pleaded with her but … She had a pillow. A thick foam pillow from the sofa. It was brown-gold corduroy–the cover. It was shaped–it was like a square but with scooped sides.”

“She showed me what she had done with it. She had cut a hole as big as her fist–your fist–in the center of it, and she had sewed up the sides of the hole … so it was big enough–the hole was big enough to let that pony’s thing through to her.

“She put the pillow down between her thighs to show me–the scooped sides fitted her thighs on each side, and the hole was centered right over her–her opening.”

“It was about five or six inches thick … and firm, but it would still let an awful lot of that thing through–into her.”

“She was determined to try it. She had a weird glitter in her eyes. She kept saying, ‘First me, then you, mom.'”

“It was my soul they were after. My soul was older and wiser and of more value than hers. Getting my soul would be something.”

“I see now Barby was a toy to Satan. He snapped her right up and used her to get at me.”

“Yes, she brought that animal in the day after she showed me what she had done to the pillow.”

“He was extra anxious. He was nervous. He did his business right on the rug … a big pile of it. It stank to high heaven. I cleaned it up. I had to. I couldn’t stand it there on my rug.”

“She had to use something she could lie on that would support her about two and a half feet off the floor. She finally fixed up the sofa–she piled the cushions at one end so they were level with the arm.”

“She had strings sewn to the special pillow and she wore it between her thighs, with the strings keeping it in place, tied around her waist, hips and thighs.

“She led Diablo around the room and got him so he faced her as she sat on the arm of the sofa.

“YES–this is burned into my brain! Everything.”

“She sat facing his throat, her head just under his head, her naked breasts touching his chest. She held the bridle rein in her right hand.”

“I stood watching, hoping it wouldn’t work. “She settled down on her back on the piled sofa cushions. She pulled on the rein straight back, holding her arm up.”

“The animal, to go forward over her, he had to straddle the end of the sofa where she was lying, with his front legs.”

“It was too wide for him. He couldn’t do it. But she kept urging him to get over her; she kept pulling on the rein.”

“He tossed his head and tried to pull back, but she kept him under control and kept pulling …”

“Finally he did what he had to do–what Satan made him do–just the right thing. He reared up and planted his front legs just past her head, in the place–where the middle cushion would have been.”

“Barby said, ‘See, mother, see?’ She patted his chest. She settled him down. He curved his neck down to try to see her. He snorted.”

“She reached under with her left hand to touch his thing. It was supernatural the way he got quiet. And that thing started to slide out–ugly and purple and wet.”

“It was sliding out–down–right into the hole in the pillow between her thighs! It was perfect … everything was Controlled!”

“Barby laughed when she felt with her hand where his thing was going. ‘Now I’m going to get it,’ she said.”

“I told her to stop it–he’d kill her! But she wouldn’t listen. That animal was standing over her–if he slipped or if he decided to kneel his front legs on the sofa all his weight would crush down on her.”

“And if he managed to get too much of his huge thing into her–it would rupture her.”

“She guided with her hand and shifted around some under him. His organ was out all the way–I’ll never forget how long and thick it was–and he was stamping on the floor with his hind legs, he was sensing something new and better than masturbation, this time. His ears turned and perked. His barrel sides heaved.”

“Barby suddenly made a surprised ‘OH’ and drew a sharp breath.

“The beast snorted loudly. I knew he had entered her … and thick as he was, I didn’t think the pillow would save her. He would compress it, smash it flat with his savage lunges.”

“I saw him start–the first powerful thrust of his rump–the flexing of his broad thigh muscles.”

“I cried Barby’s name–she tried to speak but his plunge into her and the pressure of his heavy belly on her chest as he moved made her breath puff out in a kind of grunt.”

“I started forward to get him away.”

“She saw me. She had her head turned to avoid the long hair from under his chest. She gasped for me to not do anything.”

“There was an expression on her face amazed and exalted–and wonder and pain in her wide eyes.”

“The pillow did work for her–it did act as a kind of limit on his penetration–but, oh, God, he was into her so far … so terribly far, with that thick thing … ugly wet and like a purple-skinned hose …”

“She reached up on each side of his barrel and seemed to hug him, to hold him. Her fingers gripped his shaggy winter coat like death.”

“And the horrible sounds they made–the awful squelching sound of him there–in her–and her grunts and groans as he went in each time. And that animal’s own bellowing breath–so loud!”

“I stood frozen, watching, my hands to my mouth. Frightful moments passed … and Barby didn’t try to escape, or call for help.”

“She had her eyes closed tight. Her face wrinkled each time his massive organ plunged so deeply into her belly. Her mouth sucked air. She kept her tight grip in his coat.”

“Her legs were flung wide. The strings holding the holed pillow to her had broken but I saw it didn’t matter–Diablo wore the pillow on the base of his thing like a hilt.”

“She cried: ‘Mother–mother, it’s like … it’s incredible! It’s like being in a hurricane!'”

“The awful squelching sound of that … intercourse … became wetter and faster. The beast was doing it more and more–just crushing forward into her.”

“She cried–I can’t forget–‘I love it, I love it–I’m his slave now–‘ And she kept on grunting and wincing and gasping … ‘Oh, Master–Master!'”

“I knew who her Master was!”

“The sofa was being pushed little by little, each time he bumped the end with his legs as he as he went into her. The end of the sofa came up against the wall by the kitchen door.”

“That beast blew gusts of air from his nostrils. It sprayed the sofa with spittle. He rolled his eyes with the madness of his lust.”

“It was absolutely terrifying to see him pounding into her body. Barby was being butted into, pushed, ravished.”

“I couldn’t understand how she could stand it. She must have been in agony from the size of him. But she was holding onto him now to keep herself in position for his continuing thrusts.”

“Then–oh–the time for his … the stuff … into her–it shot into her … it gushed out of her as that thing went in–pouring it in and squishing it out … She screamed–that pressure–that horrible male-stuff–so match of it and then … it was over. The animal lost all interest in her. He put his legs down sideways off the sofa and turned around … pulling out of her and leaving an awful dribbling trail …”

“Barby just lay there, arms wide, legs open … a sticky, wet mess of that stuff between her thighs, running from her core … she was gaping open like a red tunnel, all drippy with that stinking, disgusting stuff.”

Barby looked up at me … and her eyes were dreamy. ‘I was nothing at all. I was just a tube of flesh and he used me. I wasn’t a person. I was just meat. I was just meat.'”

“Those words cut into my mind–just meat. The male beast–that animal–was like every man wants to be–just a huge organ with no responsibilities or cares, who wants a woman to be just meat he can forget the moment his pleasure is over.”

“I went to Diablo and pulled the pillow off of his shrinking, receding thing. It was about to drop to the carpet, anyway.”

“The pillow was stained with his stuff, and with sweat. It stank. The whole house stank of completed lust.”

“I started to throw the pillow into the fire-place for burning later, but Barby said, ‘No, don’t! We can use it again. We can wash it.’ And so I threw the wet thing next to the soiled clothes hamper in the hall.”

“I put on my clothes and took Diablo back out to the barn. When I got back I heard Barby in the tub, washing up.”

“She called me into the bathroom. ‘You’ve got to do it, too, mom. It scares you to death at first, but then, but then you’re one thousand percent woman. It’s incredible.'”

“I said no, but she kept after me. She kept arguing and arguing … She was arguing for Satan. I knew it, but I was … I was had to find out.”

“If Barby could take him, with that doughnut-like pillow on his thing, limiting him, why couldn’t I? I was a mature woman and she was only a girl, a sixteen-year-old girl …”

“So, yes, yes, YES … I allowed myself to be convinced. I allowed her to convince me. I had to know what it was like–this ultimate degradation. I imagined that this adventure with Diablo, this would have to be the end of our moral disease. Somehow, I imagined that when the snow melted, our debauchery would melt and we would see the firm ground of decency again …”

“I was afraid, as Barby said she had been. My insides were watery and I had to go to the bathroom a lot, on the morning of the second day, the day we agreed I would try it.”

“She went out, whistling, singing, and brought the brute into the house. He almost pranced up the stairs and across the porch. He neighed a greeting to me, as if he knew …”

“I was naked. I was dry-mouthed and nervous. I held the pillow clenched in my hands.”

“Barby asked me if I wanted more … preparation. A few minutes before she had been doing delightful things to me with her mouth. I had been wet and passionate–but with that beast so near, with the time so near–my lust was gone.”

“She managed it all. She led me to the sofa with its cushions arranged as before. She forced me to lie down and spread myself.”

“My heart was shaking me. My stomach turned queasy as she led Diablo close to me. She held the rains taut. She urged him to rear up and cover me.”

“He looked down at my naked body. He looked into my eyes. I saw his lust. I saw the Devil in his eyes. I turned cold. But I was petrified; I could not move or speak.”

“That was the first terrifying part. He did rear up. Suddenly the great shaggy bulk of him was in the air over me–his legs and hooves were coming down at my head–his chest was coming down to crush me–”

“But his legs went beyond my head and his chest stopped inches from my breasts. His long underhair, off-white and dirty, brushed against my skin as he breathed–and as I breathed.”

“I was gasping with fear. I could not see under him. I could not see my thighs and his … his huge thing.”

“Barby said, ‘I’ve got the pillow on him, mom. Boy, is he ready for you! I barely touched him and it slid all the way out.'”

“I felt the end of his organ prodding at me hitting my thighs, and belly and close–close to my core.”

“Barby said, ‘Hang onto his coat. The first few seconds are rough.'”

“I felt her hand between my thighs, opening me with her fingers. The beast over me was blowing and snorting with eagerness. I felt the huge, blunt end of his thing–Oh, dear God, I was terrified. What made me lie there and let it happen?”

“That huge thing just–before I could prepare myself–it just plunged into me! I was suddenly stretched horribly … it was so thick! It was so terribly far into me–like a pole had been shoved into me–I screamed! I hurt so much! It was so massive! Dear God, I’ll never forget it!”

“My whole belly was an ache–full of that gigantic organ. I did hold onto his sides. I gasped–the breath was pushed out of me–he was shoving and shoving! His great round hairy chest and barrel was pushing down on me and moving over me.

“I was in hysterical was panic-stricken. I was–yes, a tube of raw meat for his use!”

“I wanted it to stop happening and I didn’t. I was like a beast being used by a super-being.”

“Then I felt the touch of the pillow that circled his organ and limited his thrusts. It was being crushed against my thighs and … and my crotch.”

“The first few seconds–the shock of that brutal, sudden, total penetration–passed … it passed, and I knew I could endure it.”

“The sheer animal power of him, over me and in me–dear God, so much in me–the violence and lust and beastly selfishness … it made me feel … I can’t explain it.”

“I was being jolted and battered by that thing that plunged up into my belly again and again and again. Each thrust was a giant invasion of my body, a kind of rape that I was permitting to continue. I found myself holding onto his shaggy, smelly coat to keep from being butted forward, away from his thrusts. I wanted his thrusts … I wanted that huge thing of his to keep on filling me and filling me and hurting me.”

“Each time he went in–oh each time, the size of it–it pushed brutally against that place inside me and a lightning bolt of pain and–and pleasure mixed … all mixed up together–went through me!”

“Each time–it took my breath away.”

” I saw Barby … blurred … smiling … watching … and I turned my head away, under Diablo’s heaving, moving chest, to face the other way. I knew my face was nakedly showing my reactions.”

“I began to wish it would not stop … I began to feel a hot bubble of lust in my belly. I began to writhe against Diablo’s girth, to rub my swollen teats against his tickling, maddening coat. I was panting, mindless, glorying in the huge thing that was thrusting up into me.”

“I should have felt shame and agony, and guilt, but lust and growing pleasure overwhelmed my conscience …”

“I forgot everything. Diablo became my god. I sank down into the Pit.”

“A voice was moaning loudly and it was mine. A body was twisting and squirming with lust, and it was mine.”

“The force of nature that was … that was possessing me–that is what he was–Diablo–not a pony, but a Force … a god. I imagined he–it would go on forever, endlessly thrusting, endlessly driving me to a pleasure that I could not imagine.”

“But he thrust faster and harder. I was shaken, tossed about under him. I had to grip his coat like death and fight–I hooked my right leg down over the sofa arm–I had to fight to stay in place.”

“I heard Barby–‘He’s going to shoot in a second …'”

“I wanted him to do it in me–to get completion. I would be dishonored if he didn’t. I would not be a worthy female if I left him without his final pleasure …”

“I wasn’t a human woman … I was down in the depths of … my mind was so full of those ecstatic lightnings! My Christianity and my morals–they were like sand and the huge thing pounding into me, faster and faster–yes, and deeper–deeper–was the ocean … the endless ocean … the forever, ageless ocean …”

“Mindlessly, I knew the pillow that prevented an awful, terrible penetration of me was being compressed and minimized with each powerful thrust. Diablo’s organ was like a merciless log ramming into me. My belly was a vast golden ache … OH, GOD–further and further up into me … thicker and thicker … His snorting and bellowing breath was frightening, terrible …”

“THEN–a great liquid blow burst into me. A giant thrust into the stuff–pain–and another gush of it–a horrible plunge into me, spurting … I was full of it … overflowing, an awful warm wetness covered my thighs and ran down under my bottom, soaked the cushion …”

“Diablo made his last gushing plunges and was finished.”

“I was dazed. I lay inert … in a stinking welter of his thick, white, runny discharge.”

“Barby got him down off of me safely. She put on her coat and boots and took him out to the barn. The draft of icy air from the door as they went out seemed to drive the daze from me.

“I groaned–with shame. I struggled to sit up and saw the mess that covered my lower body. Sharp little pains shot through my abdomen as I moved. I wanted to vomit, but couldn’t.”

“I was in the tub, washing thoroughly, when Barby came back into the house.”

“She came into the bathroom, naked once again. She said I had taken more than she had because the pillow was flatter. She said she’d have to alter another pillow for Diablo to wear. She laughed and looked at me and asked if I enjoyed it.”

“I didn’t tell her. The Devil in me was whispering for it to happen again. My stomach got fluttery as I thought about it.”

“I knew it would happen again. I would assist Barby and then she would assist me … and Diablo would be better and better trained …”

“A dull horror spread through me, but it wasn’t strong enough to change anything.”

“It happened … it happened … what? YES, damn you! HE KILLED HER!”

“We did it with him–with the beast–with the Devil–we did it about … I don’t know. Twenty times. Each. YES. Each.”

“Yes–I got so I loved every filthy, degraded moment of it. I got so–we both did–we got so we spent hours out there in the cold, brushing him, cleaning him, braiding his mane, making over him disgustingly …”

“We brought him into the house more and more, We put papers all over on the floor for when he …”

“He was our big man. He was the king. We were his harem. It got so we did nothing with each other–we only lived for the moments that he was … was over us and that huge thing was driving us crazy.”

“The morning it–I was out in the barn. The snow was beginning to melt. Barby had him in the house. I was gathering eggs. Somebody had to do it. We had to keep the stock going, and the chickens … no matter how debauched we were, we still had to care for them.”

“She couldn’t wait! She thought she could manage it alone … OH, GOD … I heard–I was in the henhouse–I heard a faint scream … just a faint one. I wasn’t even sure it was a scream the hens were making so much noise–and then I heard it again–the scream. It went through my heart like a knife.”

“I KNEW IT WAS BARBY. Something had happened! I ran–I RAN–and when I got through the door–OH, GOD–she was under him and he was jamming and the pillow wasn’t there on his thing! It was on the floor! HE WAS RAMMING IT ALL–ALL ALL ALL INTO HER! SHE WAS–BLOOD … BLOOD WAS POURING OUT OF HER–EVERYTHING WAS COVERED WITH BLOOD”

“HER FACE WAS TO ME … and, yes she was … she couldn’t got away. He was kneeling! He had her head locked between his front knees! His belly was holding her down flat, down into the cushions! And she–my baby couldn’t get away! And that monstrous thing was going all the way into her! It was covered with her blood! Blood was spraying all over … his belly was soaked with it … And SHE WAS SCREAMING! Her face was so horrible–her eyes–”

“I grabbed him–his reins and I pulled sideways and I screamed at him and I PULLED! But he wouldn’t move–HE WOULDN’T STOP! NOTHING WOULD MAKE HIM STOP!”

“I got the gun–my husband’s rifle–on the rack and we always–it was always loaded. And I knew how to–I SHOT HIM! I SHOT HIM! THEN HE SCREAMED AND HIS BLOOD–I SHOT HIM AGAIN! HE GOT OFF HER. He–he–like a drunken man–all around, breaking things … screaming … I was yelling–screaming … I shot him again. He wouldn’t die! He fell down and started kicking. His eyes were like rolling marbles. He was breathing blood … I kept shooting him! HE WOULDN’T DIE! Then I hit his head–in the brain–and he–he went dead … he jerked and he went all limp.”

“Barby? Barby I went to her–yes, I tried to … but the blood–she was all torn open. She–the blood was so red! It just ran out of her! I couldn’t make it stop! She was so wide open–between the legs–here–like a–a big hole–like a butcher had cut open a … like a tunnel …”

“She was so white–her face I called, on the phone, I called the hospital in [the nearest town] and they sent–they sent an ambulance.”

“But she was dead when they got to our place. I don’t remember them coming in. I remember it all up to calling them. It’s all there, but I can’t–”

“… the psychiatrist–said I was repressing it. I didn’t want to remember–the pony and my daughter together like that. He said the report said I had been babbling … babbling and was sitting on the floor by the pony, reading the Bible to him.”

“No, but I don’t remember. But I should have loaded the gun and killed myself. This way–I’m just taking longer.”

“They all knew what happened. They knew right away. She was naked, on those cushions that way … and with that hole in her … That sewer hole running blood …”

“I was in a hospital and the police–the sheriff came … and some other men … Then the doctors. Then I was taken to the insane asylum.”

“They kept me there for a year. Then it kept getting more crowded and the state was short of money, and they let me go.”

“That’s all. I’m all empty now, from telling you. I don’t care anymore who knows. I don’t care. I wish I knew how Satan got to Barby, though. She was such a lovely, pure girl.”

 

Conclusion

The varieties of human sexuality are incredible. It comes down to this: if it can be attempted, it will be. Dr. J. Rosenberger, in his recent book, Bestiality, states that al authorities do agree on one point: “… that the entire gamut of sexual relations between human beings have been applied between humans and animals,” and “any act that can be committed between man and woman has bee committed between human beings and animals!” The basic need for sexual release in women as well as men i indisputable. They get horny too, and are admitting it … and acting on that fact. As the Women’s Lib activity in recent months shows, women are throwing off the culturally imposed attitudes which have limited and channeled their sexuality. They are becoming more openly sexual. Their new attitudes are making them the equivalent of men in sexual matters, and the existence of

The Pill and greater accessibility of abortion is taking away the long range consequences of sexual activity–Pregnancy. Thus women are becoming more and more free to be fully sexual, psychologically as well as physically. The cultural and social result is the phenomenon of “swinging” and extreme sexual experimentation–by women. Women, it seems, are as curious about sex and as or more willing to try new things as men once they have broken down their inhibitions.

In his The Animal Lovers, Dr. Rosenfeld says, “… there is a good deal of hardcore evidence that city-styled bestiality is much more depraved, involving more of a variety of acts, and with the sexual contacts more frequent.” Of the sophisticated people whose stories I know or have read about, only a very few involve sex between men and animals.

Why, for instance, do not men take advantage of large female dogs to the extent that women are willing to try male dogs? I am speaking here of city men. There has been and is a significant amount of male-animal sexual activity in rural-farm areas. It has to do with cultural “images” and male pride. In many ways men are more conservative and “narrow” than women. It has been said that men in need will stick their penises into any kind of hole in the hope of sexual pleasure, especially if no one is around to see them try it. And it is increasingly obvious now, that women will allow any kind of penis into their vaginas for the same reasons, if privacy is assured. (Or relative privacy, as in the case of exhibitionistic swingers and their pets.)

There are the obvious exceptions, of course, animal-woman sex for profit, as with the prostitute, and the patently insane behavior of such persons as Louisa and Barby, where repressed sexuality and paranoid schizophrenia combined in an explosion of psychotic behavior. Unthinkable thoughts are being entertained in our time, and increasingly, unthinkable acts are being performed. In every area of life. We can look for more and more cultural taboos to be knocked over and social changes to result.

What will our society be like twenty years from now? It would probably surprise the hell out of all of us if we could make an instantaneous turn-around and see. As it is, we will live through the changes and hardly be aware of them.

THE END