Feature Writer: regularguy13
Feature Title: STONERS VERSUS DEMONS
Published: 24.10.2023
Story Codes: Erotic Horror
Synopsis: Stoners get the better of demons
Stoners Versus Demons
“Are those hooves?” the young woman asked the stranger.
^^^ Ten days before^^^
Marty pulled into his driveway, parked his bicycle, and unstrapped two pizzas from a rack. The thirty-three-year-old entered the front door of a small bungalow house and shouted, “Dinner!”
The front door opened into the living room. The room was decorated in the style of second-hand chic. The shabby furniture came from The Salvation Army or it was rescued off the street from people who were throwing it away.
Nothing matched.
The unifying element that defined the room was clutter. There were dirty dishes, trash, and empty beer cans everywhere.
“Do you have a Hawaiian?” Annie asked.
“Yes. With ham and bacon. Just like you like it,” Marty said. He placed it on the wobbly coffee table in front of the sofa. The skinny blonde sat up, smiled, and opened the box. She hollered, “Timmy, get paper plates and napkins.”
A short, bespectacled guy went into the kitchen to get plastic utensils and other stuff.
“Is the other pepperoni?” the black guy asked.
“You know it,” Marty said.
The motley crew of Millenials chowed down with little conversation; music blasted out of large speakers.
As soon as Marty finished eating, he rolled a joint. They all smoked. It took two fat ones for them to forget about their crummy lives, dead-end jobs, and the squalor they lived in.
Annie got up to pee. When she returned, she stopped by the front door. The previous owner had put up a dog-themed rack where people could hang their keys. There were five hooks below the pictures of dogs. The last image was of a doghouse, and it said, ‘You’re in the doghouse’.
She moved her keys out of the doghouse and put them under the ‘Momma’ dog picture. It was her way of telling the guys, ‘I’m not on my period. I’m available for sex.’
Marty saw her move her keys and said, “Great. Babe, come here. I’m horny.”
She stripped. It was easy since she was barefoot, braless, and pantiless. She only had to deal with two articles of clothing: a top and a skirt. She’d left her underwear in the bathroom, knowing someone would want to fuck her after five days of abstinence.
The twenty-nine-year-old pulled her top off and exposed her perky little tits. She shimmied out of her skirt and revealed a blonde bush. Her pubes were slightly darker than the hair on her head.
Her breasts were small. God compensated her by giving her long, slender legs and a nice ass.
Annie was nonchalant about nudity and sex. She was a former crack whore. She ran away from home when she was eighteen because her mother’s boyfriend demanded she sleep with him.
She left a bad situation and fell into an abysmal life on the street. She got hooked on drugs. Every day at least one man beat her: a crazy, drunk, or angry customer or her pimp.
She was arrested for prostitution.
It was the best thing that happened to her. The judge sent her to a rehab program. There she met Marty. A DUI had put him in the program. She got off crack and moved in with Marty when they completed the program.
Annie worked part-time at a pet store for fun. She got free room and board at Marty’s place. The deal was she’d stay off hard drugs, have sex with her three male roommates, and clean the house.
She was good at the first two requirements. No one had high expectations for the third.
She accepted the deal because it was an improvement over the arrangement she had with her pimp. Instead of being with ten to twenty guys a day, at most, she was with three. Another plus was there was no violence, and she could take time off for her period.
Annie swayed and danced to the music. She worked her way to Marty, removed his pants, knelt by the sofa, and sucked his dick.
Marty looked like your typical ‘stoner’. He was unkempt; he needed a shave and a haircut. His eyes were always red. He was more than slim. He was skinny because he’d rather smoke dope than eat, sleep, or exercise.
The thirty-three-year-old manchild had barely graduated high school. He got his first job at age sixteen as a pizza maker. Today, he still made pizzas. He had no ambition. All he wanted to do was get high on marijuana.
He’d be homeless if when his Uncle died, he didn’t inherit this small six-room house. The bungalow had a loft upstairs. There were two bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a family room downstairs.
The house had a detached garage where Marty’s beat-up car was parked. After his DUI, he stopped driving his vehicle because he could not afford insurance.
Timmy lived in the cramped, low-ceiling loft. Buck and Marty had a bedroom. Annie rotated, sleeping with one of the guys.
Timmy watched his friend getting a BJ and smoked.
Buck, the black guy, stood, removed his tee shirt, and came over to the sofa. He said, “Annie, get on your hands and knees and I’ll lick your pussy.”
Annie pulled off Marty. Buck lay on the floor. She straddled the black guy’s head, placed her snatch on his face, and resumed blowing the pizza maker.
Marty reached out and tweaked her little nipples.
Smoke curled and rose to the ceiling from Timmy’s joint.
Moans, groans, and sighs came from the threesome by the sofa.
Buck crawled out from under Annie when she was thoroughly wet. He shoved his ample dick into her vagina and fucked her from behind.
It was a savage attack.
She took it like the pro she used to be and didn’t for a second neglect Marty.
“OH!” Buck cried out as he came. His dick wilted. He withdrew and sat on the floor for a few seconds to rest. Then got up to get a beer.
Annie looked Timmy in the eyes and flicked hers toward her backside.
Timmy got the gist. She was offering him a turn. He shook his head.
“Timmy, you’re passing on Annie’s sweet pussy?” Marty teased the shy younger dude.
He laughed at him and slid off the sofa. Annie rested her forearms on the sofa while Marty circled her and shoved his cock into her soiled hole.
He wasn’t as rough as Buck. He gave her a good solid fucking. The pair screamed and came.
Marty collapsed and sat beside her. The couple enjoyed their blissful feelings.
Buck watched his friends have sex. He saw their big finale: the simultaneous orgasms.
After giving them time to compose themselves, Buck said, “Marty, the only reason you got Annie to cum was because I laid the groundwork. I gave her oral, and then my BBD worked its magic.”
Annie laughed.
Marty snorted and said, “What big black dick? Your cock is the same size as mine. Right, Annie?”
“You both have nice dicks,” she said. “My pimp, he had a weapon between his legs. Eight inches and as thick as my arm. The girls and I called it the ‘Punisher’. Even when he wasn’t mad at you, that BBD pommelled your pussy and left you dazed and sore.”
Annie looked at the third man in the room and said, “Timmy, if you want some, can we do it now? I don’t want to clean up twice.”
The shy man looked at her and nodded.
Annie got on her hands and knees and presented her butt to him.
The short man stood and went to her face.
Annie sat on her heels, lowered his pants and underwear, and looked at his erect penis. Timmy’s dick was two standard deviations off the mean. If he was north of average, he’d have a steely seven and a half inches of cock. He was on the other side of the median and had a four-inch prick.
She easily fit the not-so-long, not-so-thick dick into her mouth. She sucked him with all the skill that comes from sucking a thousand johns.
“Oh!” Timmy moaned.
His moans got longer and louder. His body began to shake. He pulled his cock out of her mouth, grabbed it, and moaned as he stroked it. It fired off; his cum landed on Annie’s face.
She took it like a champ.
When he was done, she opened her eyes and stayed still so Timmy could study and enjoy his handy work. He looked at the whitish clumps, her big brown eyes, and mumbled, “Thanks, Annie.”
“No problem, Timmy.”
The nude woman stood and said, “The shower is mine.”
The guys slipped on their clothes and shared a joint.
Buck picked up Marty’s laptop and said, “Marty, what’s this you’re looking at? This isn’t porn. What’s the Black Witch Coven?”
Buck scanned it and read, “Services include the removal of ghosts, demons, and poltergeists. We can put you in touch with the right demon to help you cast love spells and to curse your enemies.”
The black guy laughed and asked, “Marty, do you believe this shit?”
“I overheard a guy at work talking about this site,” Marty said. “A friend of his used it. He had a demon curse his pain-in-the-ass neighbor and the guy had an accident and broke his arm.”
Buck frowned and said, “That was a coincidence. You can’t believe…”
“The guy’s sister used a demon to find an expensive necklace she lost,” Marty said.
“And let me guess,” Buck said. “All it cost them was their soul.”
“No,” Marty said.
Timmy said. “The devil and God are competing to see who can get the most souls. There are many kinds of demons and they all have unique powers, abilities, interests, and jobs.
“Some like to fuck with people for giggles. They hide your car keys or leave a rake out for you to step on and get whacked on the head.
“Incubus and succubus flat out want to fuck people. Some demons are jealous of humans and want to possess us and experience life as we do, and some want to eat your flesh.”
“Gross,” Buck said.
Timmy nodded and said, “Like here on Earth, there is a hierarchy in Hell. Some demons want to get ahead and become more important and powerful. They will bargain with humans to achieve their goal of being overlords in Hades.”
“This website is an easy way to gain access to the witches’ knowledge and demonic connections,” Marty said. “For a small fee, they help you call up the right demon to help you with your problem and you negotiate a deal with the demon. The witch I spoke to said typically they want goat or chicken blood or a ceremony honoring them.”
“You believe that shit?” Buck asked incredulously.
“If they could help me find the gold…”
Buck laughed out loud and said, “Oh, here we go again. Tell me about the gold a leprechaun gave your great-grandmother.”
Marty answered angrily, “You know it wasn’t a leprechaun’s pot of gold. My ancestors were some of the early settlers here. A relative named Jedediah Johnson was the first white man to step foot in this valley.
“He set up a trading post and swapped goods and guns for furs and gold with the Indians. Other settlers came and they founded a town.”
Buck said, “And the Indians contracted smallpox and other diseases from the white man for which they had no immunity and died en masse.”
“Yes, and that’s sad. The immigrants didn’t set out to wipe them out. It kind of just happened.” Marty shrugged his shoulders.
He continued, “My family lived high on the hog for a hundred and fifty years until they fritted it away on drink, gambling, and marrying gold diggers. My Uncle Bill was the last rich Johnson. He had a real estate empire. Rumor had it he had some of the family gold.”
“And how is that going to help you? He’s dead,” Buck said.
“The witches can put me in touch with a necromancer…”
“A what?” Buck interrupted his friend.
Timmy said, “Remember in “The Game of Thrones” the White Walkers were able to raise an army of dead people by using the potent dark magic of necromancy.”
Marty nodded, appreciating the input of his friend, and explained, “A necromancer is someone who can communicate with the dead or, if he’s very powerful, he can control them.
“I’ve talked to a witch. I don’t need a powerful raise-the-dead necromancer. That demon would be scary and difficult to control. I can get by with a less powerful one.
“She said some demons lie and try to trick humans. The less powerful ones are not smart. They can’t hoodwink people, and they stick to the deal.”
“Oh, that’s good to know,” Buck said sarcastically. “You’re choosing the less dangerous route.”
“You don’t have to be involved,” Marty said angrily. “I only need three people to conjure this lower demon.”
Annie walked into the room. She had a towel around her head and one wrapped around her body. She said, “We’re going to conjure a demon? Cool. I’m in.”
“Me too,” Timmy said.
“Fine,” Buck said, giving in. “What’s the worst that could happen? We’ll be anally probed?”
“You’re thinking about aliens,” Timmy said.
“I paid the witch her fee,” Marty said. “I have the info. Now would be a good time to try. It’s a Friday and a full moon. Let’s sit at the kitchen table.”
“Wait,” Annie said, “I should get dressed. I don’t want my towel to fall off and expose my boobs to some spirit.” She giggled and ran from the room.
While she was gone, Marty drew a pentagram with a black magic marker on the plastic tablecloth. He put a candle in the center.
Annie returned wearing pajamas.
Marty said, “Everyone, sit at the table.” He picked up a box of salt and said, “I’m supposed to pour salt on the floor and make a circle around us to protect us.”
He made a circle and lit the candle.
“Are we supposed to hold hands?” Annie asked.
“No. That’s for a seance,” Marty said. “You’re here as witnesses and to show the spirit that I have friends, so he shouldn’t mess with me. Ready everyone? Let me do all the talking, okay?”
His friends nodded.
Marty spoke some nonsensical words as far as Buck was concerned. He spoke in Latin which is why no one at the table understood him.
At the end, he yelled, “Come. Come! I beseech you!”
He paused; everyone looked around. Nothing happened.
Marty repeated the Latin phrases and called for the demon to appear. He had to do it a third time before there was a response.
“Who demands my presence?” a deep voice demanded. A second later, there was a figure of a man with pale skin, pointy ears, and long white hair.
He was dressed in tight black pants. There was a large bulge in his crotch. His black shirt was skin tight, ripped at the elbows, and open in the front, so you could see his six-pack abs.
He was attractive, not menacing, and appeared to be the same age as they were.
“I want to make a deal,” Marty said.
“I’m listening.”
“I need to talk to my dead Uncle Bill. Can you call him here so that I can speak to him? I’m willing to pay a reasonable fee.”
“I can force his spirit to appear,” the demon said. The demon turned his head and shouted, “Caim! Sarela!”
Two winged creatures appeared. One had the body of a handsome man and the other the body of an attractive buxom redheaded woman. They were both naked and well-endowed.
“Are those hooves?” Annie asked, looking at where their feet should be.
“Lose the hooves and wings,” the demon said.
Poof! The demon aspects of the visitors disappeared.
The head demon smiled and said, “You can call me Lee. These are my friends, Sarela is a succubus.”
The female demon smiled and curtsied.
“And Caim is an incubus.”
The male demon flashed a bright smile. He had the good looks and fit body of a movie star.
Annie got wet just looking at Caim. He had an impressive dick. And it was soft!
“Life in Hell is boring and dreary. We’d like to party with you for one night. We want to listen to music, dance, and drink.”
“Is that all?” Marty asked.
“Demons lack the spark of life God gave you. We cannot create life. Caim and Sarela want a child. If they have sex with the four of you, they can.”
“How does that work?” Marty asked.
“Sarela collects sperm in her vagina. Cain fucks your woman and brings her more pleasure than she’s ever known. He will take an egg from her.
“Cain and Serela will have sex. He deposits the egg, the sperm inside her impregnates the egg, she gets pregnant, and becomes a mother.”
“Will the child be human?” Annie asked.
“No,” Lee said. “The sperm and egg are altered by Caim’s and Sarela’s demon nature. The offspring will be a demon. An incubus or a succubus.”
“Do you require anything else?” Marty asked.
“The standard contract calls for you to defile three holy sites, bring me the dead carcasses of forty-nine cats, and perform one evil act every day for the rest of your life. Little things, such as tripping a blind person, stealing from the poor, or bearing false witness against a do-gooder.
“I’ll waive those requirements and I’ll settle for a party and sex. Oh, and I need you to take a box of old clothes, a loaf of bread, and a jar of apple butter to an old woman who lives in a cave by a swamp on the outskirts of town.
“It’s a twenty-minute drive from here. Go out of town on East Route 6. Cross the covered bridge, drive half a mile, and make a right on a dirt road. Follow it for two hundred feet. It ends and the cave is on the left. You can leave the box by the entrance.”
“That’s it?” Marty asked.
“Yes. That’s it. Give a poor old lady some clothes and a snack,” Lee said. He smiled, extended his hand, and said, “Our handshake will seal the deal.”
Marty shook his hand.
“Some humans have welched on their agreements,” Lee said. “We party first. We have fun and have sex. Then, I’ll call your Uncle and you can talk to him. I will trust you to visit the old woman tomorrow and do her a kindness.”
“Okay,” Marty said. “Buck, put on some music. Timmy, get everyone a beer, and I’ll roll some thick blunts. Annie, you’ve been eyeing Caim’s big dick and Lee’s package. Why don’t you suck their cocks?”
Annie put on a show and stripped for the visitors. She knelt between Caim and Lee. She pulled Lee’s pants off and discovered a thick alabaster cock. She wrapped her lips around it while she stroked Caim’s member.
Buck got the music playing. Sarela danced with him. She moved as gracefully as a cat. Her big bosom bounced and swayed. She laughed; Buck ogled her sexy nude body.
She had large, perfectly round tits with pointy pink nipples. There was no hair on her genitals; everything was smooth and on display. Her ass had a bit more padding than you’d expect for a woman as fit as her. It was Kardashian-ish.
Timmy handed out beers. Sarela invited him to dance with her and Buck. He moved in an uncoordinated wooden way. Sarela rubbed up against both men and let them touch her body.
Annie switched. She sucked Caim’s cock and stroked Lee’s dick.
“What the fuck!” she exclaimed. She pulled off, looked at his penis, and said, “I felt your dick getting bigger inside my mouth, but not in the usual way.”
Caim smiled and laughed and said, “I am not human. I can change the size and shape of my penis.”
He thrust his hips out and demonstrated. His penis grew ridiculously large and shrunk back to a normal length and girth.
“What? How did you do that?” Annie asked what the other humans in the room were thinking.
“It’s an ability an incubus has. Sarela and I can be anything you want. Show them Sarela.”
The succubus stood. In the blink of an eye, her hair changed from red to blonde. A thick black bush appeared, covering her sex. Her breasts shrunk to Annie’s size. Then, they grew to be as large as watermelons.
“Holy shit!” Marty exclaimed.
Sarela said, “Guys, I am the woman of your dreams. Tell me what you like, and I will be her. Most humans like these double D’s.” She shook her titties.
Buck said, “Those boobs are just fine.”
“I liked you as a redhead,” Timmy said meekly. “And do you mind losing the bush?”
“Anything for you,” Sarela replied. She returned to her original form.
Marty lit a blunt, smoked, and walked the room, offering everyone a toke. He smoked and continued to circle the room, sharing.
The party was in full swing.
Sarela undressed Buck and Timmy. As they danced, she groped them, and they groped her. The men had stiff ones.
Lee and Caim were no longer satisfied with handjobs and blowjobs. They got Annie on her hands and knees and spit-roasted her. Lee was in her mouth. Caim’s thick cock stretched her vagina and pleasured her immensely.
Annie spit Lee’s dick out of her mouth and said in amazement, “Caim, what are you doing to my vagina? It’s wonderful!”
He chuckled and said, “I told you my penis can be any size. I expanded its girth to fill and slightly stretch your vagina. I grew my mushroom-shaped head so it is in contact with your vaginal walls. I doubt any man has ever given you this much pleasure. I’m rubbing your G-spot and all sides of your vagina every time I shove it in and pull it out.”
“Oh, God! It’s wonderful!” Annie sighed.
Lee said, in a testy manner, “God has nothing to do with it!”
Annie didn’t hear him. She was too busy moaning; her brain was overloaded with pleasurable sensations.
Sarela sat on Timmy’s face; he sucked her fat clit. Buck stood in front of her and received the best BJ of his life from the succubus. He shot his load; she swallowed.
Buck staggered to the couch and sat down.
“Was she good?” Marty asked.
“The best.”
Marty handed him the joint and said, “I’ll try her out.” He went to her.
She smiled and asked, “Do you want to fuck my ass?”
“No, thank you. I would like to poke your pussy.”
She nodded and said, “Timmy, ass or mouth?”
“Mouth.”
“Marty, will doggie style work for you?”
“Absolutely. You’ve got a big cushiony bottom.”
Sarela got on her hands and knees. She sucked Timmy’s meager member. Marty knelt behind her and took her from behind. He pounded her.
The room looked toward Marty as he moaned and groaned loudly. He thrust deep inside Sarela and came.
People watched him gasp and then went back to what they were doing.
Buck and Lee sat on the sofa and shared the joint. The black man glanced at the demon’s hard cock. It glistened due to Annie’s saliva and was throbbing.
Lee said, “You can suck my penis if you want, or would you like me to butt fuck you?”
“No!” Buck shouted. “I’m straight. I’m sorry for staring. Your dick is pulsating.”
“No offense taken,” Lee said. He smiled graciously. “Mine does pulse when I need to get off. Is Annie free?”
“Be sure to fuck Sarela,” the demon said to Buck. “She’s the best piece of ass you’ll ever know, and we need your sperm.”
“Right. I look forward to being with her.”
“OOOHHHHHH!” Annie cried out as she experienced the biggest and best orgasm of her life.
While her body spasmed and quaked, The head of Caim’s penis modified itself, so it could journey through her uterus, a fallopian tube, and reach one of her ovaries. He stole two of her eggs.
When Marty discharged his last rope of cum, Sarela pulled off Timmy’s cock, and bull-rushed him. She knocked the little man onto his back, straddled his hips, and said, “Come on shy one. Make me a mama.”
She shoved his dick inside her and rode him cowgirl style.
“Oh! You’re so tight!” Timmy said. “When I’m with other women, I never touch the sides.”
“It’s because I can alter the size of my vagina, so big or small, thin or fat, all my partners get a snug pussy.”
“Cool!”
Lee and Buck looked at Annie. She was a puddle of quivering flesh on the floor. Multiple orgasms wracked her body. She was sweating and gasping for air.
Lee chuckled and said, “It looks like Annie is out of commission for a while. Sarela will be available soon. Timmy doesn’t strike me as a mighty cocksman. Want me to blow you so you’re ready?”
“No! I’m only into women!” Buck shouted. He sounded frustrated.
Lee raised his hands as if surrendering and said, “Sorry. Just trying to be helpful.”
Buck stood and walked away. Marty joined him near the kitchen and offered him a toke. Buck took a deep pull.
Marty said, “Good party, huh? Sarela has a sweet pussy: wet, warm, and snug.”
“Did her pussy grip you?”
“Yes. She fit like a glove.”
“Oh. Oh. Oh!” Timmy hollered and ejaculated into Sarela. His face contorted; hers smiled.
“Looks like you’re up, buddy,” Marty said. He took the spliff, slapped Buck on the back, and said, “Enjoy!”
Lee sat on the floor beside Annie. He pulled her long, damp-with-sweat hair off her face. He caressed her body. He seemed intrigued by her small breasts and little pink nipples.
She sighed and rolled on her side. Lee lay behind her. He spooned her and shoved his dick into her pussy.
“Oh!” they grunted.
He fucked her slowly, rhythmically, and deeply.
She lay there not moving. She was exhausted. The incubus had worked her over.
Lee whispered sweet words into her ear. “You’re so beautiful….I love your breasts….You have a killer ass.”
He diddled her clit and got her attention. She moved in concert with him. Her breathing became labored. Her mouth searched out his, and they kissed.
Their movement became hurried. Their need more desperate.
Annie moaned a lot.
Suddenly, Lee pulled out of her, stood over her, stroked his cock, and came on her body and face. He laughed.
She was caught by surprise. Her body ached. It was close to a climax. She realized that was not going to happen. She felt humiliated to have this demon spank his monkey and cum all over her.
Lee twisted and turned and made sure every part of her got a splash of his cum.
“Hey. Not cool,” Marty shouted.
“She’s a whore. A streetwalker,” Lee said. “She’s had worse things done to her.”
“The operative word is was,” Marty said firmly. He paused as if thinking. He asked, “How do you know Annie’s history?”
“The Devil and demons are responsible for or supportive of most of the evil in the world. I know her pimp and some of her customers.
“Annie,” Lee asked, “is what I did comparable to what a mean drunk john would do to you? It was humiliating, but it’s not as bad as a beating. What I did isn’t going to put you in the hospital.”
Annie didn’t answer him.
Marty stepped forward to protect his girl and said, “That’s enough. The party is over.”
“Buck owes me a donation,” Sarela said. “Cum inside my vagina, and we’ll go.” She rolled onto her back and spread her legs wide. Her outer labia parted. Everyone could see pink.
“Buck, do her,” Marty said. “Let’s end this.”
The naked black man looked at his limp dick.
Everyone in the house looked at his limp dick which made Buck embarrassed. The chances of him getting an erection were nearly zero.
“Come to me,” Sarela said. “I’ll get you hard.” She held open her arms.
Buck went to her and lay on her. She hugged him; they kissed.
All eyes were on them. Sarela didn’t mind; Buck did.
As they kissed, the succubus played with his squishy dick. She rubbed it on her pussy lips, getting it wet. She pushed the tip inside her.
Sarela French kissed Buck. Not feeling any progress, she decided upon another plan.
She freed her right arm and extended it, so she could reach his butt. Her arm grew in length as did her index finger. This allowed her to stick her slick-with-pussy-juice digit up Buck’s ass.
“Hey! What are you doing? Oh!”
He squirmed as he protested. Her left arm exerted superhuman strength and pinned his body to hers.
“Darling, you need a little help getting it up. I’m massaging your prostate.”
She finger-fucked his ass. Her finger lengthened and thickened to better stimulate him.
“Oh, God! No!”
His dick got hard.
Sarela didn’t stop. Her hips bucked into him as her finger plumbed the depth of his anus. Her cunt massaged his penis.
Within a minute, Buck moaned and groaned and climaxed. His sperm joined his roommates in Sarela’s vagina.
She pulled her finger out of his ass and released him. Buck rolled off her, stood, and warily stepped away. He rubbed his butt.
“Not cool,” Buck said.
“We had a deal,” Lee said. “Don’t worry, we don’t think you’re gay because you enjoyed a finger in your bum.”
“I didn’t enjoy it!”
“Right,” Sarela said. “It’s just a coincidence your cock went from limp to steel in seconds, and you spewed a gallon of cum into my vagina.”
Buck’s mouth opened. He had no rebuttal.
Marty said, “You’ve had your party. You have your sperm. Summon my Uncle.”
“What is your Uncle’s full name?”
Marty told him.
Lee closed his eyes and said in a commanding voice, “William Archer Johnson I command you to appear!”
Nothing happened for thirty seconds. Then, a small light appeared. An old man’s voice said, “I am here.”
Lee looked at Marty and said, “Ask him anything. He cannot lie.”
“Uncle Bill. It’s Marty. Where is the family gold hidden?”
“Family gold?”
“Wasn’t that how you became rich? You owned all those rental properties.”
“I worked hard and made my own money. I’d recommend you try it. I don’t know anything about any gold. Wait. I heard my mother talking about her father burying it somewhere, but no one knew where. He was killed in a logging accident, and the secret died with him.
“My parents and relatives searched high and low and never found it.”
“What was your mother’s father’s full name?”
“Charles Anthony Johnson. Can I go now? I want to go back to sleep.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
The light went out. Marty said, “Lee, I need to speak with Charles Anthony Johnson.”
“Our deal was for one conversation with one soul,” Lee said. “It’ll cost you extra.”
“How much?”
“I need you to bring the box for the old woman in the cave tomorrow morning at exactly 9:00 a.m. You don’t have to wait around to greet her. Drop the box and leave.
“As you head back to the covered bridge, you will pass the Reichter estate.”
“Yes. It’s on the right.”
Reichter has decided he needs brick pillars and a fancy metal gate. There are pallets of bricks by the driveway. Throw two dozen of them on his driveway.”
“That’s it? Why?”
“Old man Reichter is a prick. He thinks he is all high and mighty with his big new house and ten-acre estate. He has forgotten some of my kind helped him achieve his wealth. We like to fuck with him.
“I know I’m being petty, but tomorrow morning, when he drives to his country club to play golf, I want him to be late for his tee time. I want him to have to get out of his expensive foreign car and clear those bricks off his driveway.”
“Just toss some bricks on his driveway?”
“Yes,” Lee said, ” and one more thing. After you talk to the other soul, I want a ceremony to honor me.”
“What would that be like?”
“It won’t take long. Maybe five minutes. Everyone will be nude. You, Marty, will be laid out on a table. You’re friends, me, and two of my friends will surround you. We will chant. You will praise my skills as a necromancer.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it,” Lee said. “I will leave now and return at midnight tomorrow.”
He extended his hand and asked, “Do we have a deal?”
“Yes.”
The demon and the pothead shook hands.
Lee, Caim, and Sarela disappeared.
^^^
Around 8:00 a.m., the stoners climbed into Marty’s beat up car. Buck drove because he was the only one who had a valid driver’s license. They stopped by the thrift shop and grabbed some clothes.
They stopped at a convenience store and bought gas, bread, and apple butter.
The cave was right where Lee said it was. They dropped the box of supplies off. On their way home, they passed Reichter’s property. Buck and Marty got out of the car and tossed twenty-four bricks on the driveway.
They hurriedly got into the car and drove away before anyone came out and shouted, “What the hell are you doing?”
^^^
Marty bicycled to work. He worked the evening shift. He was done by ten o’clock.
He came home, fed his crew pizza, and lit a joint. He and his friends smoked four before the necromancer showed up at midnight.
Lee had different creatures with him. One was an old hag. An gnarled old woman, with black eyes, and red ram’s horns that curled back from her forehead.
The other was a bulky muscular menacing-looking beast. It had a mis-shapened head, prominent brows, and large toothy mouth. It looked like it was part bulldog.
Lee smiled and said, “Thank you for delivering the box. You helped an old friend of mine. This is the old woman from the cave. Her name is Exandria. She is a witch who was cursed centuries ago, stripped of her power, and confined to that cave by a local shaman.
“He expected her to wither and die, but she is made of strong stuff. She endured. You broke the curse by giving her an honest gift. You gave her clothes and food with no expectations of repayment.”
“Thank you, mortals,” the crone said. She gave them a smile. What few teeth she had were black.
“Let’s get down to business,” Lee said. “Who from the other side do you desire to speak to?”
“Charles Anthony Johnson.”
Lee called out and caused Charles Johnson’s spirit to appear.
Marty said, “Mr. Johnson, I know about the gold. Where did you hide it?”
“I’ll never tell! That is meant for my wife and children.”
“Mr. Johnson, the year is 2023,” Marty said. “You, your wife, and children have been dead for many years. I’m the only surviving member of the Johnson clan.”
Lee used his booming commanding voice and said, “Charles Anthony Johnson, I compel you to answer truthfully.”
“I’ve been dead for over a hundred years?”
Lee nodded.
“I hid it in plain sight,” Charles said. “I built a cemetery mausoleum in the church’s graveyard and put a metal sign with the ‘Johnson’ name on it. That sign is made of gold.”
“I’ve seen the sign many times,” Marty said. “It’s a dark silvery tarnished metal. It’s not gold.”
“I didn’t say it was 100% gold,” Charles said and snickered. “Gold is a great metal. It’s easy to work with. If you add palladium to it, it loses its yellow color and is called ‘White Gold’. If you add silver, nickel, and zinc you get an alloy that is silver in color and over time becomes dark and tarnished.
“If you melt the sign, you could extract six pounds of pure gold.”
“Fuck me!” Marty yelled. “Gold is selling for around $1800 per ounce and there’s six pounds waiting for me.”
“Let me do the math for you,” Lee said. “Six pounds of gold is worth $137,000.00”
“Yippee!” Marty shouted.
“Mr. Johnson, you may return to whence you came,” Lee said.
The spirit departed.
“Congratulations, Marty on your new found wealth. Now, shall we conclude our business? You are not a heavy man. I believe your kitchen table will support you.”
Everyone removed their clothes. The menacing silent creature looked more dangerous nude. The old woman was a sorry saggy sight with her droopy boobs and butt, and her floppy bat-wing biceps.
The humans tried to avert their eyes, but it was like witnessing a car wreck. They couldn’t not look.
Marty was a poor human specimen. Slim and lanky would be kind words to describe him. Scrawny, underfed, or even emaciated would be accurate too. He lay on the table. His shrunken penis hid in his pubic hair.
“He’s all skin and bones,” the hag complained.
“Mother,” Lee whispered, “you will be sated.”
Lee gathered everyone around the table. Lee stood by Marty’s head. To his left was Annie, the creature, Buck, the old woman, and Timmy completed the circle. Timmy was on Lee’s right
“Please hold hands,” Lee instructed. Everyone grabbed their neighbors’ hands.
“I will say an opening prayer. Marty, you praise my skills, and I will close this ceremony with a few words. Got it?”
Marty nodded.
Lee closed his eyes, adopted a serious expression, bowed his head, and said, “Lucifer, magnificus, rector Orci. Regnum tuum mox ad Terram et ad Coelum porrigatur.”
(Lucifer, the magnificent one, ruler of the underworld. May your reign soon extend to Earth and to Heaven.)
Lee looked at his client and said, “Marty, say your piece.”
“Ah…Lee is a great necromancer. He called the spirits of two dead men and I was able to speak to them.” Marty looked at Lee, hoping that that would suffice.
Lee bowed his head and said, “Magne satana, has miserabiles creaturas impedie. Animam eorum sumimus, ut te glorificent. Carnes eorum comedendo et bibendo sanguinem bibemus ad corpora nostra nutrienda, sic tibi serviamus, magne satana!”
(Great Satan, paralyze these pathetic creatures. We take their lives to glorify you. We shall revel in eating their flesh and drinking their blood to nourish our bodies so we can serve you, oh Great Satan!)
Instantly, the humans were paralyzed. That frightened and confused them.
Lee chuckled as the humans were immobilized and scared shitless.
The hag and the ghoul bite Marty. She nibbled on his arm. The big demon sunk his sharp teeth into Marty’s thigh.
Marty screamed in pain.
The intention of the evil creatures was to eat Marty alive and for the roommates to experience the same horrible death!
“Ugh! He tastes terrible. It’s like licking a skunk’s butt,” the old woman complained. She didn’t take his flesh. She spat out his blood.
The ghoul did the same.
“What?” Lee said. He tasted the pothead and discovered what she had said was true. “I’ve never known a mortal to be so foul tasting.”
He bit Timmy and Annie on their shoulders. He cringed and spat out their blood and flesh.
The hag bit Buck and responded similarly.
“You promised me a meal!” the hag said. “I was supposed to regain my strength. These people taste like dog crap! Is this some defense they have adopted so we can no longer eat them?”
“I don’t know,” Lee said, looking bewildered. “I can not stomach their flesh.”
Poof!
The creatures from Hell disappear.
The paralyzing spell ended.
“What the fuck!” Buck said. “They were going to eat us?”
Annie and Timmy began to cry. Buck said, “Hang on, Buddy. I’ll get the first aid kit.
Buck tended to everyone’s wound. Annie applied antiseptic and bandages to his.
Marty lit a spliff, took a deep draw, and said, “”I think I know what saved us. Marijuana.”
The others looked at him.
“Think about it. What’s the one negative thing people say about pot? The smell.”
“Yes,” Buck said. “People complain and say it smells like a skunk.”
Marty laughed and said, “We’ve smoked so much weed our bodies are skunked!”
Marty shouted gleefully, “We were saved by marijuana! Guys, I’m sorry you were bitten by the demons. It’s my fault. I brought them into our house.
“To make it up to you, I’ll share the gold with you. Let’s smoke and figure out how we are going to spend our one hundred thirty-seven thousand dollar windfall!”
THE ENE
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Well, I loved it!
Skanky slut, stoner friends fucking, meddling with evit …
Yea!