Screwed in More Ways than One by my Church by Soulinthemists – Non- Fiction

I don’t comment on tumblrs, except to like or maybe reblog a few. But your — Putting ‘Me” Out There to Pay the Bills”? Satanic Solutions that Happen in “Hard” Times. — hit home with me. After I saw the drawing, I am adding for you to see. I understand Stephanie’s plight and walked away from the church for the same reason. I felt like both me and my husband were being screwed physically and spiritually. We were both expected to give, give, give — but it was never enough — and I just couldn’t deal with never being able to do enough and not doing so was sin.

It was okay for everyone else to do what they wanted, or get what they needed, but when it came to me and mine, we were (and especially me) treated like freeloaders … because I lost my job and was no longer a big contributor, even though I was a lay-leader.

We were always called on, for this or that, no matter what — and all the time — and when me and my spouse saw what was happening and our marriage was suffering and left. It was said, that we were failures as Christians and as church members. And all kinds of rumors were spread. Even though we told the church leadership and the church we were taking a break, from being active in church life. We were and are avoided, unless someone wants something … I’m not a satanist, but I’m like the wife in the article. I see God differently now and you make sense. Thanks for your tumblr.

WENDY’S RESPONSE (VIA TUMBLR) 

The Dark Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his countenance to shine upon you and give you peace. Certainly borrowed from xian scripture but very applicable as Anonymous and her spouse go their way.

Putting ‘Me” Out There to Pay the Bills”? Satanic Solutions that Happen in “Hard” Times.

“ I’ve opened an OnlyFans account because we need the money. Reluctantly, my husband has agreed because costs are rising and its impossible to pay bills and eat without the extra money. Gas is exorbitant because we have long commutes. A second job is out of the question because our regular jobs and the commutes already take up so much time. The church certainly hasn’t helped except with occasional handouts  where you are made to feel like a pauper but are pushing us, who need help, to do more to help others who aren’t even part of our church and take care of our clergy. These people that we are helping contribute nothing but what we don’t like is they feel we have to give them what they need. We have walked away from the church which certainly hasn’t helped us but is making us feel bad because we don’t give more to take care of people we don’t even know. I’ve heard “God helps those who help themselves” so much when it comes to us but not these others who arrive and expect us to sacrifice for them. I decided to give whoring a go because men have hit on me more than once so why not? If I am going to put on a show on OnlyFans, I might as well go all the way .l. hubby doesn’t need to know.”

Morality takes a hit when one is having problems paying bills and putting food on the table and the persons permitting themselves to engage in this form of sensual and sexual entrepreneurial enterprise are increasing if one spends some time hearing what is being said online. OnlyFans, who says it is growing by leaps and bounds, is one thing and her hubby has his fingers crossed that no one will find out he is in favor of his wife’s virtual whoring.   What he isn’t aware of is she has decided to go “whole hog” (to use another Southern phrase because she has been offered the opportunity to do so at work … not as a sex worker but to assure job security and “additional benefits” which will help her family survive “for the duration”. It’s not something the two of them want to do but feel they have to do (she shares). How she found me in all of this research is an interesting tale but not one to be told here. Needless to say, giving in to the sensual and sexual already was an issue but “hard times” have caused her to go ahead and “go for it”. She did manipulate the situation in a way where she can say she is doing all of this because her husband says they must as a last resort.In that way, she has an excuse if they (especially she) are/is discovered. What is also happening is she is experiencing a “crisis of faith” where suddenly she is seeing God differently.

Either she can hate him for the problem or see him differently because he wants her best for her and understands all the dilemmas she and hubby are dealing with while coming to terms with redefining what is “good” for her at least at this time. She’s not seeking Satan but she is redefining who her “God” is. And that is good because she is spending time reading my articles about how I see him and why I follow him. I have spent some time with her today with messages back and forth because when I first saw a reference to her situation — this “whoring because I have to” — I wanted to know more and she was wanting someone to communicate with who understands because she can’t bring herself to share her situation with anyone close to her, at least now, without seeming like she is a slut and sleeps around (as several of her friends do because they want to and don’t have to).

What I do see ,and I have pointed this out to her, is that casual sex for fun is something she has thought about, fantasized about and been encouraged to engage in by girlfriends who do so and are married also so she is “killing at least two birds with one stone” because she has a “reason” to frequently fuck in addition to doing so virtually with OnlyFans so can put aside any ‘spiritual guilt” for doing so. She isn’t planning on dressing like a streetwalker and engaging in the oldest profession openly. But there will be more secrets in her life when it comes to her husband than he will ever know. She did admit, with some encouragement, that a “load had been lifted” when he agreed with her doing the OnlyFans gig and it was his doing this that let her give herself permission to peddle her pussy privately.

Another influence was she and her husband watched old clips about what happened in Germany and Europe at the end and after WW2 where sex and the sensual was the stock in trade of those who had to survive. I am reminded of the elderly mother who spoke out during a women’s retreat I attended. She shocked everyone when she shared  “More than once I sold my body to put food on the table”. A well-off woman today, she showed what it was to be a survivor and shared a secret that probably needed to remain just that but she was tired of hearing “entitled wives” complaining about what she called “no real problems at all” as they complained about what they saw as nonattentive husbands who weren’t successful enough or whatever.

The purpose of this article isn’t to outline all the issues that Stephanie is dealing with. Rather I write this to acknowledge that what many may joke about is a reality among the “best” of families … those that would condemn doing what she is now finding herself engaging in and would never want their children to know. Suddenly, a new reality is taking shape in thier lives and Stephanie shares that she believes I make good sense when it comes to “the real God” and “real life” (her words). What I appreciate as I write is that her focus is not so much on the sexual aspects but on her realizations about herself and seeing “God” in a different way.

It may be with her “virtual and actual whoring” (my phrase), she is stepping on the left hand path and discovering her “true God”. I think so because she had a lot of questions  and agreed on so many points. The “freedom to think and act”  aspects along with the “why” speaks to her. I will say no more about her “personal journey to the left hand path and the arms of the Dark Lord” except she will be a subject of constant discussion between me and the Dark Lord in the coming days.

I am sure there are others who are in Stephanie’s situation (not her real name of course). All of us have our own strategies. When it comes to Stephanie and her willingness to “kill two birds with one stone”, I feel the Dark Lord is pleased.