My Beliefs by Nikki – Non-Fiction

Ave, Regína caelórum,
ave, Dómina angelórum,
salve, radix, salve, porta,
ex qua mundo lux est orta.
Gaude, Virgo gloriósa,
super omnes speciósa;
vale, o valde decóra
et pro nobis Christum exóra.

I want to share a little bit more about what I believe and about my kink. I do respect what others believe, and I hope you respect my beliefs too. My profile says, “Devout Christian Catholic with a blasphemy fetish.” I noticed that most people that have a kick from blasphemy and sacrilege are satanists (or call themselves so). It is therefore often automatically assumed that I am too. But I do not regard Satan a God. He is a created being (as all angels) and thus falls lower in hierarchy than God the Creator. Satan was formerly known as Lucifer (or light bearer) before he fell.

“How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!” ~ Isaiah 14:12

He then became the enemy of God (YHWH, יהוה). Enemy in Hebrew is שטן, or ‘satan’ (yes, it is just a Hebrew word for ‘enemy’). So, I don’t worship Satan. I worship God (YHWH, יהוה). To me that is what makes blasphemy so taboo and so arousing. I think it wouldn’t make sense to blaspheme a God that you don’t believe in. You either believe in Him and blaspheme because you are His enemy, or because you get aroused by the taboo of it (as in my case). Very much like a bungee jumper challenges death, but has no intention of dying — You cannot blaspheme a God that you don’t believe in. There is no sacrilege without holiness.

So from my perspective a true satanist must believe in YHWH, but chooses to be His enemy and side with Satan, once Lucifer. Actually the main concepts of satanism are directly from the Bible. The pentagram is part of the so-called seal of Solomon (aka Star of Remphan, Acts 7:43). The number 666 can primarily be found in the book of Revelation (13:18). It is the number of sin because it is the number of man (man was created on the 6th day). Tripling a number is a Biblical way of emphasizing it. The number 777 represents God and 888, Jesus. It so happens to be that Jesus’ name was first introduced to us in Greek. And the numerical value of the Greek letters that make up that name add up to 888! Ιησους: Ι = 10, η = 8, σ = 200, ο =70, υ = 400, ς = 200. 10+8+200+70+400+200=888

Satan loves to elevate men above God (you shall be as God), that is represented by 13 (6+7, or 6 over 7), the same goes for 42 (6×7). The symbolism of the inverted cross is to mock the greatest event that ever happened in the universe: the Son of God dying for the redemption of man.
Like Lucifer we also find the word Lilith (לילית) in one spot in the Bible. It refers to a night monster.

“The creatures of the desert will encounter jackals And the hairy goat will call to its kind; Indeed, Lilith will settle there And find herself a place of rest.” ~ Isaiah 34:14

It is obvious that without believing these things, all these symbols and numbers are meaningless. Having said all that (and much more can be said), I do believe in the existence of Satan and the demonic real and demons. And I do acknowledge the powers (of darkness), the manifestations and sexual lust that they can bring. In fact, I am dabbling with it myself. And this is very much my character: always dual. Going left and right, light and darkness, holiness and depravity. And now, I have regular nightly encounters with an incubus.
Where will it bring me eventually? Only God knows ….

Hail, O Queen of Heaven enthroned!
Hail, by angels mistress owned,
Root of Jesse! Gate of morn!
Whence the world’s true light was born:
Glorious Virgin, joy to thee,
Loveliest whom in heaven they see.
Fairest thou where all are fair!
Plead with Christ our sins to spare.